"You don't even care!"

You don't even care.

I'm sitting here
thinking
about all the time I spent with you.
I remember all I've given you
and you never had to ask!
Love, caring, compassion,
support.
And you accepted it all!
I asked for nothing in return
because
I know what it's like to be
in the dark places you've described.

But you are a ghost.
You always were, I see that now.

You visited me the first time
and told me how worthless I was.
I wasn't meeting your expectations
you said,
and out I was sent.
Into the cold, thick, unforgiving darkness.

And you showed up again
only three months later.
I did everything you asked,
but
it still wasn't enough.
So you sent me away again.

This time I am with family
when you show up!
Family I trust!
For a long time, you hid your true face
but you couldn't hide forever.
You look at me like a
commodity
and suddenly I am not what you want again.

You haven't sent me out
yet
and I don't know how to get rid of this
ghost...
But I will move on with or without
your approval
your kindness
your love

...for this world has so much more
for me.
Neither Mother Moon nor Sister Sun
ask anything from me.
Just like I've never asked anything of you.

But that's the thing
isn't it?
I shone on you as best I could
without a single demand
but all you could see were
burn marks
poor crops
bad juju
and all along, you were the one
causing those scars
on yourself
and on me.

Ghost of insecurity
I see you, and I understand
your plight
but you do not care about mine.
Because
if you did
you would acknowledge how much you've hurt me
instead of laughing
or screaming "what about me?!"