please tell me I'm not crazy and what is being told to me is not insane and I have every right to feel how I feel?

Ok this will take a second to put all variables of my issue out so bare with me please. Ok my sister and I was raised by a single mother cuz our parents got divorced our dad chose to have forced payments of child Support taken from his checks cuz making the payments his self was too much he says it was a mutual agreement between my parents and not forced from his lack of payment so in the divorce agreement that states what and for how long he has to pay states that it stops when we turn 18.ok well we both had turned 18 long before mom died well after her death money was being taken and payed by a state Agency when was in court papers was to stop they where given these same legal documents to start the auto withdraw with the company he worked for so it they should stopped when all or any possible stipulations of latest time it should possibly stopped by .or if in question of date given to stop due to any issues that extended it further past that date already givenby court no one said hey they qualify for him to have to continue payment ask to go past date given or anything so why didn't it stop I don't know I'm not the state agency in charge even better question if the father cares so much why didn't he stop it??he said it was ok that his exwife got the money so never tried to stop being taken from check ??ok even after both kids are 30+ and there mom dies but sister still lived in town and was able to get mail going to moms old home so was getting checks from mail Dad was that's ok as it's helping a kid I'm not Gona make any effort to stop it.well house gone mail in moms name from home sold to other people now held for few days in post office then return to sender my mom didnot have a will and any thing prepared for us kids after death it just happened well after some time my father began asking where that money is and has legal right to it now the mom died so found out the state had sitting on hold for whom has right to claim .when asked who with what proof was needed so the state didn't get free money learned my sister and I had only rights to claim but had to probate in some form to have documentation of proof of us being her only children and no others who could have any claim to any assets owned by deceased.so cheapest way was filing small estate probate cuz filing a full one isn't needed unless property or large amounts are involved and small estate was all that was needed to get that money from child sapport well I agree that it was wrong that he is still paying cuz getting stopped isn't as easy as it should be i don't feel bad any over amount paid cuz he didn't care to try to stop that's no fault but his own .i told him I feel that money that can't be blamed on fault of his own should be returned to him by the state Agency guilty of provable wrong doing in taking it .so no $ to pay for cheapest probate so I say to sister let's share and offer to give Dad some money out the goodness of our hearts and he may pay the probate if we share with him so we agreed to give him this large amount on hold and he will give us what he thinks is fair and if it's only fair to one in three people we learn a lesson if he does us wrong well he grows more and more intitled acting arrogant that it's his money not ours us giving him some wasn't a nice jester it was my duty to give him back money someone else took from him he didn't need to get payed back by who did him wrong and are responsible for it cuz they are the government and won't give money he already had no problem with paying (I'm talking like a whole 20 of his overpayment is my duty to pay back why??becouse they would not give to you or because mom didn't pay you from her pocket well you never had and not now complaining about any of them but now cuz I was the only one to love and want ur approval I was being nice by offering u any $at all but you say Im not being nice because I should feel guilty from ur own mistakes and issues that don't have anything else to do with me but being told law that all money should be sister and I only and father had no right even if we chose to share don't mean we have to in any way but my dad is only thinking of himself or in no way does saying that the kids are cuz mom died and they have to receive it and that is enough to father to say that it's the kids fault 20 yrs later cuz just so happen they get and wanna be nice to him . I feel taken advantage of by a parent who only thinking of self how am I the wrong over this ??how is the money he overpaid child sapport be my fault 20 later ?please if I'm wrong tell me cuz my whole family is dead now and only reason I'm even caring to do a nice thing for him cuz even tho I had little trust that I could maybe grow what I had lost with the ones around and involved ever in my life with one showing up last minute saying he cares wants to help us but no one got any help but him out of anything he did saying it was for us kids too but we didn't get anything cuz we said give u some money and you took it as we owe you from our pockets so fair is you take it all cuz taking from us was easier and more likely for you to take all and tell us we owe u cuz it was put in our pockets . Not the person taking from you cuz taking from ur kids you can live with but proving to court of law that it's owed to you rightfully isn't worth the effort .. omg I feel so mad that he can say with justification this crap to get money .kepping it all saying we owe you . How is that in any way helping ur kids ??this picture is so wrong right and have every right to be mad anything anyone can say it cuz I'm losing my mind being told I should except it and not think I deserve better that a father like that .