Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Cheri's Connection Corner - The Value of Being Softer

User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful June 6th, 2023
An old emotional scar, that I was certain had healed, broke open unexpectedly yesterday. And as soon as it did, all of the old ghosts that haunted me at the time of my wounding came to pay me a l most unwelcome visit.😢

Shame.
Fear.
Guilt.
Despair.

It did not take long for me to fracture like a fancy dinner plate bouncing on a concrete patio.
While I was sitting there in pieces I found myself reciting the lines to this poem/prayer I wrote myself on the day when I first received that old scar.

If you are finding yourself a bit fractured today, I hope these words holds you for a bit you as they did me.

Me: Hey Friend
Friend: Hey My love,.
Me: I'm about to break.
Friend: Why do you think that is?
Me: Because life just keeps getting harder.

Friend: Then you need to become softer.
Me: Huh?
Friend: Here is the thing:

glass is hard
but it can shatter
easily when dropped

rock is hard
but it can be broken
quickly with a drill

gold is hard
but it can be melted
in a blazing fire

don't be so hard
that you break down so easily.

be soft
like wet clay
in the hands of a potter

be soft like
river water
in the summer

be soft like
the breeze through
a row of tall pines
all of those things
survive no matter what
happens to them

they endure because
they haven't built their
existence out of hard
materials

be soft with other people
don't break them
with your words
and don't let them
break you with theirs

be soft with yourself
your heart is
more marshmallow
than metal

your soul is wrapped
in the softest of fabrics
for a reason

the softer you become
the more you understand
how precious all life is

be more of cotton
than you are of concrete

~ love isn't cold granite
love is shapeless

love is like ocean water
gently passing through your toes
in a world where the hardness of diamonds
helps determine its worth
don't become one yourself

become so soft
that nothing can
break you
John R. ❤️
Reflect on whether you are typically reactive or proactive. Which are you?
It takes practice and patience to be proactive.

Are there times in your life YOU decide to be SOFT? What were the benefits of not being reactive to a situation?

you-can-choose-how-you-react-daily-inspiration-red-fairy-project_1686091305.jpg




17
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 6th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

UPDATED TAGLIST 5/30/2023

1st part

@00WHY00 @1Marg1 @24963534 @24Help1 @4Rainbow42 @5catsandme @8Khaleesi8 @ArinDee @Actuallynobody017 @adaptableOcean4193 @adventurousBranch3786 @adventurousSugar1991 @affableowl5126 @affectionateCat9553 @affectionatePear7889 @agreeablestrawberries1285 @ahaller @ahds2k @ahel58 @akbj @AKmarshmallow @Aksabode @alan254 @alanapiana1970 @alleywood13 @amanda @ambitiousNectarine1482 @Amelia2324 @amiablePeace77 @amiableTortoise2797 @AmiYumi @amusingcranberry1537 @AmusingJet302 @anderly @andy @Angelface50 @AnnieIsMe @aquaCake3636 @ARIBA5 @Artemis13579 @AshcloudMac @Aspace4u @Awesomesummer1628 @ayeyaeyaaaaaaaa @azureblueheron @Baby1120 @ballooningSloth @BaltimoreSpring @bamafan96 @Barltik2065 @Beanno @beautifulsoul @becausepuppies @Beck @becknit @beachyone @believing777 @berta0322 @Bestmaple2045 @bestplum1189 @betheileen @better2Bbrave @beverlianne @bigalt21 @Billyjoe9717 @bimmernizer @BirdsWhoWrite @bisketties @bklnstar @BLSD2021 @bluebell34 @BlueEyes1819 @blueOrange6725 @BlueSky0708 @Bluesky1964 @bluevelvet3 @Blugreg @bogartfan @bouncyBeach42 @BookishWendy @bouncyVoice4149 @breezyoctopus @brightChestnut3152 @BrightSugar1923 @bubblePomegranate7179 @BurdensDown @cal1860 @CaliforniaViv @calmblueocean @calmVase7032 @Cammiecat @CandyBubblegumSprinkles @carefreeheart57 @CarefulGrapes590 @carefulsailboat231 @carelady @caringone1004 @CaringPanda45 @caringPumpkin64 @CaringSharon @carscarey @casey90 @cathy @catlady @catmandu @Cazzy8752 @Cheerie @chickadee123 @Chro411924 @CHT @CintaBali @classylady521 @Cliffg747 @coach411 @Communicativepenny8383 @CompassionateLand2815 @Confused7461 @convivialCake8989 @ConvivialFriend9402 @Cookiecrumbles7079 @CoriF @courageousCoconut7282 @CourageousDaisy1111 @CourageousSpring2022 @courteousLime9432 @CreativeYard1702 @crimsonShade6782 @CtownMimi @ctw1237 @Cubby2020 @curiousbutterfly77 @currentwise @cyanBirch4288 @CyclingThroughLife @DanaMH @DancingJoy811 @dapperPond2037 @Dave94305 @debbiehun @decisivetangerine2856 @decisiveBanana1981 @DeeGold @determinedNectarine9383 @dillon8524 @DinaElwy @diofono @diplomaticoak9588 @discreetMelon5938 @discreettriangle87 @DiscretOcean7936 @doginashirt @dolphinlver @Doodles7 @duces @ecstaticlght @einarsgirl @elderfarm @Electric100 @ElizabethGiovi @EmbStitcher33 @empathicForest15 @Emptynest2020 @endearingLion70 @Enthusiasticnest1089 @equinox56 @Eva66 @Every1ahome @ExDesertScapegoat @exuberantAvocado5095 @fairmindedStrawberries7429 @Faithfulapple2400 @faithlove1111 @Favor2020 @favour @FlowerLily23 @FoolsSelf @forcefulFriend4768 @forcefulStrings1005 @forcefulWriter32 @forko23 @Freeskier @friendly10 @friendlyCat50 @fromthetent81 @frothyMagic6772 @FusionX33 @GabbyGee @Gabriellegahnsuksah @Gale1032 @galfromaway @gardenyarn @generousBalloon786 @gentleEast4230 @gentleLand5245 @GiftedEmpath3 @goldilocks1041 @goodmelon8247 @goodYard1477 @GrammatoBoys @Grandma1 @GrandmaLolly @Gramma2FnM @Grammy23 @Greenpear036 @greenSummer1236 @gregariousKiwi9594 @gregariousZebra21 @guitarman087 @Gwen1963 @GypsyRed @HaloCompany88 @Heather2020 @helloBike4402 @hellopusher @helloTalker8798 @honestPeach5447 @Hotaru419 @hounddog2021 @HY00 @iamroni @Iamwhoiamwhoami @icedcoffee211109 @IHDW1982 @ihtak @impartialDrum1848 @indigolilly1500 @indigoMoon1246 @innerLove @introvertedextrovert2122 @intuitiveBunny8426 @intuitiveFriend1097 @Irene2552 @IWuzADuck @JackKost @jackrock @japanesegardengirl @jazzgtr @Jim @jlmouranet @jillwings7@JolivetteListens @JoniGirl @Judecat42W1370

User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 6th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

2nd Part Taglist

@junem @justbecause @Justbreathingx9 @JustExisting1027 @JustMe1225 @justpassingthrough10 @K8tjee @kala @Katbtrying552 @Kathy1212 @kathy3667 @Kavajava @kcollier6517 @Kevin0291 @kickiree @kickan75 @Kimberley555 @KindblueEyes @kindCloud141 @Kira09 @kit4228 @kitty2018 @kittycat15 @klemen @koyaanisqatse8 @Kurt789 @LadySnowcat @LakeGirl819 @Lara @lateasusual @Lauren63 @LavenderDaily @lesjon @Lifer @lightBalsam5585 @LightSoul108 @lilaj3796 @LimegreenNorth1124 @LindaWinNJ @lisamac724 @ListeningKaty @livefreely04 @LivingLovingLifeRecovery @livingwithbpdx2 @lledmonds1969 @Lolowise475 @lonea @Lonelybeth @LoneShade @lookingforpeace @LostanLonely @Lostinlove50 @love @Love2Boat65 @LovecraftianHorror @LoveResearcher @lrsmith9636 @LucianX @luv2shop @mabelanne20 @madhu @mamamel @mamapants @MariaLands @Marspock @MeaningfulSilence @meforexample @Melayla @Melissa22320 @Melliemel1971 @mellisendis @metta2u @mettagirl @MidwesternCalmSeeker @Mindy @ministermichelle @MissPen@MistyMagic @Mla69 @mm2022 @modestOcean7984 @modestwatermelon2938 @moi2016 @mommabear0562 @MondoRalph @Mooboxer @moocher @morecake @Motherofcats1955 @MrKindness @MsVee2021 @MusicCandy @Musicman50 @musicwithbrass @mutter3 @myer @MysticSoul88 @navyAcai7149 @neatandtidy72 @neverendingtime23 @nippycat @No1Angel68 @nobodyimportantmn @Nogift @NormaAnne @Oddball76779 @oel @OffMyTrack @OliveCamp8456 @omez125 @OmWeAreOne @Open12 @OptimisticAcres4817 @optimisticRaspberries5247 @outofspace7 @PatienceImpatiens @PaytonGlover @Peace1221 @peaceandlove65 @peachy53 @PepperBunny @pgreen6840 @phantomsmilesphilosophicalacai7803 @PitbullMom9 @philosophicalAcres8914 @philosophicalKiwi4956 @pianocat @placidplum3193 @pluckystrings4696 @plumPapaya7147 @plumSkies6526 @politePear3867 @positiveriver9935 @potatoxcrispztrish @practicalbalsam @PracticalCat2637 @proactiveCup703 @Puddinpen @PurpledPeach @purplefan5510 @purplepansies8591 @purpletangerine87 @purpletree4652 @PurpleWater74 @pxidis @Qooo @quietbeach575 @quietFlower25 @quietlightning @quietSail6485 @quietStrawberries9260 @Ran3707 @RainbowRosie @rationalWater7635 @readytolisten7799 @RebelliousMirror @redOrange9587@redCococnut7440 @redPenny @Redpeppers @Redrhapsody @reliablemoon26 @reliablemoon6376 @repen13 @Resourceful2021 @rhoda @richyShiny39 @RideaRainbow @River416 @Roger57 @Ross63 @roxymar @ruffneckred @Ruthanny1243 @sailinsunshine @SallyMoore @sallymander36 @samSympa3 @Sandidegeer @SarahKind @sb805 @ScarletLand3247 @ScarletPear1945 @SeaLady @Seasidelady61 @secretMap2091 @Sedtzl1 @seeker1898 @SeekerSher @seekinghappy55 @seniorlady @sensibleBunny2134 @sensiblePal7535 @Shycat542 @shycranberry2308 @sillyrabbit7 @sincereGrapefruit4682 @sincerelandsincereOak6832 @SKHK @Skyglider @Skyy0 @SleeplessVet @Smilintru67 @smokescrunch @sngrlittle @snugglyLight2001 @sonerii @soothingArrow47 @sophiaaiello @SoulfulCat22 @soulsings @spielmanjr @SpreadAloha @StartExploring @stayingsafe @SteampunkOkc @sthompso @StormyTimes @straightforwardKiwi7811 @stressBear @strugglingtocope99 @Sue1111 @Sue88 @sunnyplum5193 @SunnySpruce3523 @sunnyZebra2336 @Sunshine4691 @SunShineAlwaysGrateful @SusyKaploosy @SuzieQ1 @swammi01 @SweetSami @swim215 @swinston222 @swordpsalm @Tabbysflower @Tailormade1 @tanimaya @Tanq2u @Tawanda526 @tealCranberry7379 @tealDog6333 @tealPlace1858 @Teresa416 @terrig996 @TexasTabby @thecaringone @thoughtfulRaspberries8714 @ThreeFires @Tish1982 @tranquilheart @Treat @Trying5555 @turquoiseJar411 @twidget @twm @Tyedyedbutterfly @understandingSea8000 @Vadras @versatileHickory1709 @Vintagelung @VioletVeritas @Walker7957 @WarmWool @waterdragon81 @weatherphoto @WharfRat @Whisper292 @whisperingfairy7 @whispersrlonely @whitewingeddove1107 @Wicket51 @willow3836 @wittyNest2941 @WonnderWoman @Woodlandwalk42 @wordnerd @worstpossibleusername @WorkingitThrough2 @worthystruggle @WrenegadeWen @xe14 @xinero @xrosez @Yashoda108 @Yushix @youcancallmeLili @zaramerch @Zengrl

2 replies
User Profile: Gettingbettertoday
Gettingbettertoday June 7th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

I am reactive: I don't think about my emotions I experience them. I have no understand of them.

2 replies
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 7th, 2023

@Gettingbettertoday

If that is working for you that is great. 😎

Many do the same even those trying to proactive. We DO experience them fully and sometimes we can manage those feelings other times it is difficult.

The goal is always trying to be in a place where you can manage them well.


Thank you for sharing appreciate it. 😎


2 replies
User Profile: Gettingbettertoday
Gettingbettertoday June 9th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

If it was working i would not be here. I don't know how to be vulnerable. Even with all the barriers i put up i already feel exposed.

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 11th, 2023

Those walls protect you and they do most times. Vulnerability with others come with care and connection. Brene Brown Ted Talk on vulnerability is great if you enjoy those.


It is hard to be vulnerable some think it is a weakness but it is actually the opposite it is pure strength to extend yourself that way.


For me I am vulnerable with those I trust explicitly.


Glad you are here at 7cups. Thank you for sharing. 😎

load more
load more
load more
load more
User Profile: CyclingThroughLife
CyclingThroughLife June 6th, 2023

Thank you for sharing this. I have never looked at things in my life like this before and it makes a lot of sense. It gives me something to think about and contemplate when reacting to events in my life...

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 7th, 2023

You are most welcome. 😎


Words and actions reactive sometimes are tough to rebound from … the emotion of a situation may need some thought and distance ….



Being proactive means just that time and thought you are correct!


Take that space and pause to think clearly and then make the choice best for you and best for the situation.


Thank you for sharing. 💕

load more
User Profile: GlowingBlueRose
GlowingBlueRose June 7th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful I've heard of that quote before. I agree with it. Our reaction to things is what determines what happens afterwards and how we can live life better. 👍

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 7th, 2023

Absolutely I agree ☝️ 💯 percent. We always choose our actions and it it within our control. 👍

load more
User Profile: slowdecline48
slowdecline48 June 7th, 2023

The poem seems to warn the reader away from one extreme by urging him/her to swing to the other.

Yes, things that are too hard can be broken or shattered. But very soft things are delicate, & come apart with hardly any force applied. How about trying for a more reasonable state halfway between?

It is true that trees are not made of glass or concrete; however they aren't made of marshmallows, either. Softness =/= resilience, any more than hardness does.

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 9th, 2023

Absolutely agree 💯 percent. Being halfway in between is a better choice as well.


The goal is to less reactive to the situation and take a moment to be proactive. The poem version of soft means not soft in character exactly just less impulsive.


Thank you for sharing and the less reactive we are is a great thing. 😎

load more
User Profile: Barltik2065
Barltik2065 June 9th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

So much logic!

We can chose how we react.

I think the first thing (for me) is to remove the impulsive reactions.

Then we can make sound and executive intelligent decisions

1 reply
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 9th, 2023

Yes 🙌 you are correct that is always the goal. More in control and protect your own feelings as well. They say what someone thinks of you is not your business.


it is logical but sometimes a challenge … breath and think and pause adds value to your peace of mind. 💕💕💕

load more
User Profile: purpleTree4652
purpleTree4652 June 10th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

Hi, Grateful,

Reflect on whether you are typically reactive or proactive. Which are you? 
It takes practice and patience to be proactive.

Are there times in your life YOU decide to be SOFT? What were the benefits of not being reactive to a situation?

I'm both. I don't like the term proactive to describe our handling of all situations. It is courage, and training from parents, or psychologists, or wise people.

I have decided to be "soft" but I don't like that word as a descriptor, either. I have social anxiety and PTSD and am very weak socially. I will probably be working on improving for the rest of my life. It isn't easy. When I am calm, courageous, and strong internally, my situations with people can be enjoyable.

I have to disagree with the quote, too. Life doesn't have to like us. Life doesn't have to make anything go our way. I think life and how we react are completely on different scales. I don't think you can contrast them. Life is 100% what happens to us. How we react is either well or poorly, and that is a sliding scale or it's own. But don't try to tell life how to treat you or us, or think that we've got life beat, no matter what we do. Life carries on with whatever it wants to do. That's where our ability to be fluid and calm and enjoy the simple things in life are so important.

2 replies
User Profile: SunShineAlwaysGrateful
SunShineAlwaysGrateful OP June 11th, 2023

Most of us are truly both and agree the words aren’t the best just used for simple comparison… soft hard reactive proactive both sets.


Yes it is often lifelong how we manage and I am glad you are indeed calm and courageous plus you enjoy social sometimes. Al fantastic traits.


Our life boat good analogy is what happens to us yes 🙌. Simole thongs in life are the best and often over looked … appreciate the things that bring us J✨O✨Y! 💕💕💕💕💕💕


Thank you for sharing! Happy birthday 🎈!

1 reply
User Profile: purpleTree4652
purpleTree4652 June 11th, 2023

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

Thank you, again, Grateful! :)

load more
load more