@charmingFriend6547

Hi friend.

Fear of death.

I'm not afraid of dying at all. I'm 69 years old and a Christian. I know that when I die God will take me to heaven. There will be no fear, tears, death anymore. if interested in where my beliefs come from it is in John 3:16 (Bible)

@charmingFriend6547 @charmingFriend6547 @charmingFriend6547 I feel you. My buddy had a crisis about this mortality thing about a year ago - his issue was actually that he is doing great: good job, good friends, good partner, good living situation, he is contented, and he's terrified that this is just going to be his life on a loop until his inevitable death! I'm trying to illustrate that, although you are discontented, the grass is not necessarily greener when life is perfect. We all are continuing to age while we are alive.

You are not even 30, you will find other amazing cities to live in as you go, that city you loved isn't the only option for happiness. Personally, I find joy in my quest - better jobs, better travels, enjoying my friends as they age with me!

I too get stuck in the spiral you are describing, usually around my birthday. It's okay to wallow for a while, that's normal. But remember, worrying about losing your parents doesn't stop it from happening, don't take up too much time fretting about it while they are with you!

As for something to look forward to, can you plan a trip somewhere new? Think of a future job you'd like to have, learn new things like cooking or a new language. If you do more new things, time will stretch out for you.

If your fear is as paralyzing as my dear friend's was, and you're not sleeping and it's all you think about all day, seek a therapist - I think it helps just to talk about it as you're doing here.

what is there to fear ... new adventures ... new friends .... even new thoughts about things as you expand your horizons and see things differently?

Fear sucks away your NOW ..... i used to fear items and did not do things out of fear .... you cannot get that opportunity back ....seldom do-overs in life..... embrace life seek new challenges meet as many people as possible and enjoy each minute as some are never lucky enough to get older.....

@charmingFriend6547

Hi. I too feared those things. The time will come when everybody in my life is gone. That I would have to live alone. What if my friends go before me? Who can I confide to now? Or me what if I got COVID and die?

A friend thought me this quote, it was a tattoo on his back in Spanish but it means "One Day at a Time". When fears gets to me. I think of this quote. I am an overthinker so I worry a lot about the future. But it only ruined my days, worrying like crazy.

It helps me. Not to think about tomorrow, not to think about the past. Just today. What will i do today. What will make me happy today. I'm going to live today.

:)

@charmingFriend6547

Hi, it must be very hard for you to feel this way.

At age 24 you are still young. Yes, body starts to age slowly at this point, but the process is very slow and can be slowed down with healthy lifestyle and positive, optimistic, outlook in the life. At life expectancy 80 years it means that less than one third of your life is behind you.

There is still a lot to look forward in your life. You have got still a lot of time to make good and prosperous career in the job you like. If you won't get job you like, you still can try to feel happy in this job as it is very precious that you are able to work and to contribute positively to the society. Many people are unemployed and can't get job, and many people are unable to work due to illness and disability.

You have still a lot of time to get someone to live with and to create a happy family or to live happily single or whatever you wish. There are plenty of options open to you.

There are still plenty of options to be happy in your life.

@charmingFriend6547

Hello dear,

You said you turned 24. Well if you ask me you are at the best of your years. Seriously live now, no matter what age you are. Life is not a bed of roses. There will be ups and downs. But what matters is how well we take life's challenges and how best we live the good times. It is the same for everyone. You are not alone in this journey of life. Even aged people live a good life although they are challenged by both health and emotional issues.

My point is we are in this together. I am sorry to hear that you had to struggle in your younger years with your identity. But good part is that you are here now with us, you have all our support and i'm sure you will soon make friends and enjoy being yourself. Give yourself a week's time you be in a better head space :)

I feel you, i am troubled with the same kind of fears that you are talking about. I love my parents and i don't want to lose them. So, i do my best to spend quality time and try to make them happy. I love them so i know how much you love your own parents as well. Its okay. Just let go and breath. It's not easy but please take one day at a time. Ageing can be overwhelming but we gotta accept and learn to go with the flow. Mindfulness exercises may help if you want to give it a try.

I wish you all the best and all the happiness in the world.

Remember that you are amazing and whenever you need to talk we'll always be here.

Sending beams of comfort <3

It doesn't get simplifier, life gets more complicated l, my advice would be live you life now... I pay a million pounds to be 24 again!

Hello, I’m so sorry things have been so tricky for you recently.

if it helps at all, I completely understand this fear and it is something which I battle with myself so you are not alone in feeling this way at all.

I’m 25 so we’re not far away in terms of age so I’m not sure how helpful my advice will be if you’re looking for someone with more perspective but something which helps me and something which I’ve found after speaking to a lot of people about this is that this fear is shared by everyone and talking about it really helps so please always try to be open and tell people how you truly feel.

In terms of being scared of ageing and death, these are unfortunately very scary things but there’s no reason to let this fear overwhelm you. I don’t want to presume but from your message it seems like you might be worried about losing time and making the most of the time you have and your youth etc. There is a lot of pressure here because everyone has their own ideas about what ‘doing well’ is, especially at our age when everyone is doing so many different things, but i think the key is to not let this influence you, just do what makes you happy, what you enjoy, and do what’s best for you. You might find that people you think are living the ‘perfect’ life actually struggle with a lot of the worries you have too. If there’s anything I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older it’s that people are more alike that we think. Everyone is scared of these things but we can get through these fears by learning to appreciate the time we have and each moment, it’s sad we won’t be here forever and neither will the people that we love but it’s this exact same thing which makes spending time with them and doing things we enjoy so very special.

As for something to look forward to, look forward to the person you can be, the life you can live, and the places you’ll go and the people you will meet. Stay with it and get through this hard bit for your future self. They will thank you. I’m a similar age so again I hope this still is relevant but I think as we get older the teenage stuff and the pressures to do this thing this way seems to go away. People’s differences are celebrated, not pointed out and made fun of. I think something that is better the older you get is the realisation that people have the same worries and concerns, they feel things deeply, and everyone wants to be happy, just like you and I do. It’s easier to be yourself, whatever kind of person that is.

I really hope I helped you and I’m so sorry things are hard but I believe in you and your ability to overcome this so please stay strong and keep going. I promise it will be worth it.

feel free to reach out anytime if you’d like to talk more. 😊😊

24 and gay. Well being gay doesn't mean your life ends at 24 unless you're a party 🎉 person and are looking down on age. 24 you're old enough now to find a relationship maybe one you'll love enough to share the rest of your life with. Being gay you could adopt... a best friend carry or donate ... There are options I'm sorry guessing gay man having and raising a family and having every experience that everyone else does. My husband and I go alot of places we see gay couples with children everywhere. The beach, new Orleans, Disney world. Santa Fe, San Diegio , worlds if fun KC, being gay isn't uncommon so get out there 24 live.

@charmingFriend6547 Hi. When we are feeling negative emotions, our thoughts can get a bit distorted and function to make us even more anxious. This is natural for all of us. What you have stated is that because of how you grew up you missed something, perhaps a set of emotional skills you expect would help you now? I had a similar story. My upbringing had some major deficits. I grew up in a city that I thought was not ideal for my development. Likely there was a lot of truth in my assessment of my situation at the time. So I think I understand somewhat, however, don’t take this personally, but at 24 our assessment about life can lack a lot of context. We get that context by aging and with the right attitude. That is, everyone ages, but not everyone learns the skills of life. And I would say, because you are asking questions, you are not one of those people who would fail. For myself, some of the rockiest experiences actually were blessings in disguise. So, how to proceed…my advice is first to acknowledge that humans age, get sick, lose possessions and loved ones. Second, learn about the nature of emotions. Emotions are fluid. When we are upset, it feels like that will go on forever. But if you have ever see a child crying and then their parent distracts them, the crying can stop in an instant. As adults we think our emotions are more complex, but we too can go from 100 mph emotions to full stop as well. Of course distraction doesn’t always work, or work for long. The point is, your emotions feel “frozen” in the current state, but if you pay attention, you’ll see it changes, just like earth’s weather. And while it is true that an external event can have us react with a certain emotion, most of the following emotions are generated internally by our thoughts. Our thoughts generate emotions, and our thoughts can be like a wild animal we jumped on and it is running into a scary forest and we don’t know we can’t jump off. We can learn to jump off and let the thoughts run away. But surprisingly, learning to avoid jumping on the animal or remembering to jump off is something that takes practice. And it is a life long project. And if that sounds discouraging, let me tell you that I have found learning these skills actually can be the source of great happiness. Fear has a really useful function for our survival. It literally comes up in big or small ways whenever we want something or don’t want to lose something. For instance someone may fear they won’t get into a relationship, and then fear losing the relationship once they get it. So I hear that your fear is saying something like, I don’t know if I have enough to find happiness, and I don’t know where to begin, and I don’t want to lose what supports me. You can learn to find happiness and you have already begun on this path. Keep going.

— From a well know saying: The bad wolf and the good wolf were fighting. The child asked, “Grandfather, which wolf will win?” Grandfather answered, “The wolf you feed.”