Retirement: Harder than it looks
You spend so much of your life looking forward to retirement and then all of a sudden it's here (mind came earlier than expected by a bit when COVID killed my business model in about 6 mos). At first it feels like relaxing in a warm bath - the freedom is wonderful. Then you start thinking about who and what you are without a routine and a purpose you've had since your 30s and it becomes this existential question about the meaning of life and time. I'm not unaware that I'm privileged just to have the opportunity to wrestle with such questions -- many people can't afford to retire. Howevere I do find I spend a lot of time thinking about who I am now and what I really want to do with the time left, and just with the very concept that I even have to *think* about "the time left" at all. Anyone else going through anything similiar??
@RikkiA- oh heavens sake. Yes, just couldnt wait to be done with my profession and quit commuting every week. The first year was filled with lots of losses- family, friends and animal. Then covid hit just as I was getting my stride. Looking at the bigger picture of what is our. purpose and place in life really sinks in during this phase of our life. And I thought I was ready for it. I completely understand part of what you are wrestling with every day. TAke care.
@barncat Sorry to hear about the losses you had. We're abuot to lose our first doggie (17 yrs old). Otherwise, it's that "bigger picture" and trying to make it come into focus. Also weird living without generating direct employment income (not counting SoSec, etc.). Just haven't ever done that as an adult and a little hard to trust that if I fall, the net will be there.
@RikkiA- it is a big adjustment to not having that paycheck rolling in all the time. Sorry to hear you are about to lose your dog companion. I got my first dog - a little 12 senior rescue in July.
@barncat
My husband is facing his last two weeks before retiring. He is really struggling. He has even pulled away from me. I have been giving him his space, but it is really stressful to see what he is going through and not be able to share in his struggle. I am tempted to reach out to his brother, but I don't know if that is right either. Have any tips on what I can do for him during this time?
I just realized that most of these posts are from 2 years ago. Since yours is only 2 days ago, I thought I'd reach out to you. I just wrote a long note in reply to the original post and now I doubt the original person who posted will even see it. Makes me feel a little like I was just spinning my wheels!
Oh well...
@souljourney1
All posts help those who browse through the post regarding retirement. All contributions very valuable.
Hi variety. I am cat 542. Funny. Same thing happened to me. Some posts are sooo! Old, but here we are sharing. I just listened to a amazing and motivating podcast or whatever it is called on this website by Monica Frank. I am trying to find it again to share. It was in resources. Mindfulness /aging with integrity. I felt like a new person!
Yes. So life changing.
Hello there. I know it is very hard about the retirement. I work in such company who handles the pensioners. Some people cant handle it and feeling empty after a while. All we can do is trying to support them by giving such a support to do their own business. Or to do their hobbies. Doing everything they cant do when they were working for the company. Please enjoy your day with new things 😊 would love to hear about your day more
Definitely! No friends here, an indifferent husband, no hobbies or volunteer projects and way too much time on my hands! Not a good combination for being newly retired. And I am sandwiched between a mom in a nursing home and an addicted son. I can relate, and it seems we are not alone.
@Elsie73- Aw- retirement - thought I was prepared for it. Thank heavens for 7 cups- it fills a void of interesting conversation and hearing about others. My husband is still working- wonder if it will be better when he also retires. You sound like you have a lot on your plate because of your mother and son. Sending you warm wishes for find something that sparks your interest. TAke care.
Thank you very much. Good thoughts to you as well!
@RikkiA
I get it, I retired early also but for different reasons. I have asked myself all of these questions. I try to stick to a routine best I can , joined a gym, more hobbies I like ...but my biggest thing is helping out/volunteering at an elderly facility in the arts/ activities center. I love helping ppl. I will try to volunteer at an animal shelter too. I think finding ways to help others is my thing.
Hope this helps, 💜 ABB
What a great thread. I'm couple of years before retirement but struggling already from identity crisis, value of life questions and empty marriage. I guess it'll get worse. I'll try to work part time though.
Can you people please come back and provide an update?
I totally understand how you feel. I retired earlier than I wanted to due to a stressful situation at work. I wanted to work just one more year and retire at age 62 to collect social security. My husband is 10 years older than me and that's why I was planning to retire at 62 to be able to spend more quality time with him while we still can...but I retired 1 year early at age 61 and no social security yet. We are lucky that we are able to afford my early departure from work but I do still worry about expenses. Especially the unexpected ones that keep seeming to come up.
However, the job that I used to love and had for 37 years became unbearable due to a new management that essentially made my life miserable. I feel pushed out. Since it wasn't the retirement that I had invisioned for myself, I became a little depressed and even experienced some anxiety and I have insomnia. I keep telling myself that my job does not define me as a person yet I just feel like I need a purpose or something more to do with all of this free time.
I'm sorry that Covid killed your business. Sadly, it ruined a lot of businesses. I'd like to see a big come back of these businesses.
Thinking about how much time is left is kind of scary. But I can relate to that too. That also causes depression. I have found guided meditation to be helpful to make me more mindful of living in the present. Not worrying about the future as worrying about tomorrow robs you of today.
Yes, retirement is a huge life changing experience. I think it takes a lot longer to adjust to it than people realize.
I hope you find your way on this new path of life. If you find anything helpful, please let me know.
Best wishes to you!
Wish I could retire. But getting laid off and getting cancer drained my retirement savings. I have very little left. Old age and poverty is all I have to look forward to. I'm thinking of taking an early exit.