50+ community Check-in November 9-12, 2020
Hello beautiful people in 50+. I hope everyone is doing okay 
Recently I read this statement which I would like to share with you today:
The more lonely you feel, the more sad you are, the more you are craving for company.
The more joyful you become, the less and less you need company to feel whole.
This is talking in general terms, not depression and withdrawal and not in a sense that one does not need/want company when feeling joyful but generally the difference between feelings of loneliness when sad and joyful.
Would love to hear your opinion about it and your own experience
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I agree with that because when I am sad I feel that I need someone to know what I suffer from; and when I am happy it doesn't matter who is with me, I can be alone the whole day.
@DinaElwy I hear you. I feel the same
When I am so down I feel
more lonely. When I feel a bit better I still wish I had that one true friend. I still wonder what it feels like to feel upbeat. Have not gotten therr yet
@Neeme2020
I hope you will meet that true friend soon.
The more lonely you feel, the more sad you are, the more you are craving for company.
The more joyful you become, the less and less you need company to feel whole.
I am never lonely, may never be lonely again. Now that I am living with my fiance, things are much better. And the more joyful I become, the more I need my fiance.
@Offmytrack
It's wonderful being able to share joy with a loved one!
Would love to hear your opinion about it and your own experience
I have always been lonely and I've had major bouts of depression. Right now, again, I am alone, unhappy and feeling miserable.
@WharfRat
Depression is a very heavy thing, hugs. Sometimes it’s good to just take a pen and write down your thoughts about the problems and feelings you have or talk to someone about it - just to get it out of your system.
@WharfRat same
here . I was hoping by the time end of this year there ll
be no
more covid pandemic to worry about. I
learn that's not the case. Making me sink more into depression and the anxiety is very high. Feeling sad
@Neeme2020 sorry to hear things are weighing on you. I am glad we have this support site.
@WharfRat depression is harsh. I feel exactly the same how you feel. I awake in the morning and ask myself " ok so now what ?" Especially with this covid . It's not like I can push myself to get off of bed motivated for get out for fresh air or meet a friend. Did I say friend ? What friend ! Friend who does not understand what I am dealing with ? And that's when I feel so lonely . Absolutely no one who understand what having depression and anxiety feels like .
@Neeme2020- Yes, I've talked to people who say, "I understand what you feel." But they don't. They think it's a minor thing that will just pass. They don't understand that it's been like this for over 50 years now for me.
@amiablePeace77
I completely agree. I'm alright being alone. I often prefer it despite the fact that I'm both an extrovert and social person. But loneliness has been getting to me recently. But for example, two days ago, I received a fabulous news. I was literally jumping in the air from joy. I didn't feel lonely that day. Not for a bit. But when a new day came with its challenges, the yearning to feel someone near who encourage me, cheers for me, or just saying "Hey, girl... you've got this. Look at how much you've accomplished"..... or just send smiles and hearts to wish me well...... Yeah... when I was so ecstatic aboiut the good news, I wished I could share the laughter and relief with someone but the lack of that someone didn't hurt as much as when I felt weighed on by the challenges..... if that makes sense!
@goodfroggie I totally hear you. When we have joy we want to share it. When we have sorrow we want to share it.
@amiablePeace77
It's very natural to need encouragement when we face challenges. It's not dissimilar from having a sport coach shouting cheers from the sidelines. Some are lucky enough to have that kind of support system. But so many don't. I'm one of them. I wish there is an "Encouragement Group" or a thread.... in which members who are facing a challenge that requires an action would post their challenge and actions that needs to be taken to resolve that challenge or improve its conditions... and in which other members will cheer for each other and check on each other's progress... I bet this would lessen the kind of loneliness that comes along of having no one to cheer us up through difficult times. Does anyone has an idea on how to create such a group or threat? I'm new here.... So, I would appreciate your input.
@goodfroggie
I can hear from your words how hard it is for you, hugs.Having someone to talk too can change a lot, I hope coming here helps you to feel less alone. This is a link where people share the challenges they face.https://www.7cups.com/forum/50OverCommunity_193/ChallengesWeFace_1702/
Please remember you can also always connect to a listener 1:1, we are here for you.
I would have to agree
@amiablePeace77
The more lonely you feel, the more sad you are, the more you are craving for company.
The more joyful you become, the less and less you need company to feel whole.
I think that when we feel lonely it does make us feel sad and neglected
and the more we feel like we just need to be around someone because it will scratch that itch we have that gives me a sense of hope or expectation. Then when I rasionalize that thought, I can find peace with just myself and make myself happy.
@scarletPear1945 well said. I agree that finding our inner bliss as Joseph Campbell called it can dispel the appearance of being separated from others.
just want to say sorry for not being comfortable enough to do the group chat session. I have been trying to make myself get involved. Gettig out of my fear of groups. But it is a true struggle. Fear and anxiety make me nervous and I panic for no reason. It makes moving forward on 7cups a major issue for me. I thought that if I just keep coming, watching, and listening, I would get over this uncomfortableness and be all right. But that is not working. Maybe because things are moving so fast on the screen and it is hard for me to follow. Knowing when to post and not.
I feel really silly for how I feel but it is what it is. How am I going to get to a place that I feel ok participating in group Chats?
@scarletPear1945 Hi ! Glad you were in the chat for as long as you feel comfortable. In the beginning of chat, it is not so busy. Maybe arriving before the chat starts about 10 minutes before would give you time to acclimate. If you have to you can leave when you get uncomfortable.
Another thing that might help if you are on a computer (not on the App) is a double arrow in the upper right corner. Click on that and the chat window gets bigger and moves slower. If you are on the app and have a computer option, the computer is better for group discussions.
Hope that helps. We are all learners so hope you keep going to chats.
@soulsings
Thank you, I will keep working on it
@scarletPear1945 great attitude <3
The more lonely you feel, the more sad you are, the more you are craving for company.
The more joyful you become, the less and less you need company to feel whole.
This is a good insight. I will reflect on it more but I am glad I noticed the original post.
@InquireWithin
Sorry, just realized that the post was not announced as it should have been. Glad you saw it!
