50's Plus Check in December 17-20 2018 - Reaching out
Reaching out.
How do you reach out to others? Maybe its small like saying hi to someone at work, school, some outing you are at like a grocery store, walk, party, etc. Or maybe it is even bigger like inviting someone to do breakfast, lunch or dinner. They might even tell you that they appreciated going out with you and thank you for inviting them to do something with them. It also cant be one sided. Both parties have to work on communicating and the relationship.
Questions:
1. What are you doing to reach out to others?
2. What are some ideas that you have tried that you would like to encourage others to also try to reach out?
Not yet a regular of this forum? Come join us: If you have not already done so, please submit this short form add or remove your name: https://tinyurl.com/ybyg3g3y Please allow 4 days for the tag list to be updated.
@1Marg1 @amiablePeace77 @AmusingJet302 @Aspace4u @bestplum1189 @BeyondTheInvisible @Bigvalleyrob @bogartfan @Brokenhearted @carefreeheart57 @CaringPanda45 @caringPumpkin64 @convivialBlueberry6200 @DanaMH @decisiveTangerine1372 @empathicForest15 @exuberantAvocado5095 @faithlove1111 @FlowerLily23 @funkygirl @Glorene @gracie2303 @greenpear8830 @GuardianAngel77 @GusteeMoon123 @GustyOne4U @Help0ver5OAnxietyorManicBiPolar @inventivehouse2965 @January1963 @joliver1967 @JolivetteListens @kittycat15 @Lauren63 Lolowise475 @LumenEssense @Lyra @mellisendis @MissPen @mistymagic @MusicCandy @mutter3 @Nova101 @Novalis4u @OffMyTrack @pamharley003 @passionateWheel1397 @PaytonGlover @pinkPapaya7701 @purplehairedone @quietSail6485 @pinkPapaya7701@rainbowsage5 @redGrapefruit5314 @RenaeListens @richyShiny39 @Roger57 @Roxy0007 @ScarletLand3247 @Shycat542 @sincereHemlock2665 @SmileAtWill @SoulfullyAButterfly @soulsings @Texgal0869 @Tom444 @Tish1982 @Tyedyedbutterfly @vh @wittyNest2941 @worthystruggle @Zengrl
@DanaMH
1. What are you doing to reach out to others? I reach out to all those who need a Listener. I provide them a 1-1 and let them know I am always here.
2. What are some ideas that you have tried that you would like to encourage others to also try to reach out? I encourage anyone who may harm themselves links to the approoriate gelp,, and I let them know I will not turn my back on them.
@pamharley003
That is great that you are helping folks as a listener and letting them also know that they can contact you. I agree having folks not turn their back on folks is important and providing them important links they can use and contacts is very useful.
1. What are you doing to reach out to others? This fall I've pick one day out of the week that I send notes of appreciation/encouragement to others, sometimes friends and family, sometimes co-workers, sometimes people i barely know I don't have a system or reason for who i pick. I generally just sit quietly and let the names come to me. It's amazing the responses you'll get. I've had any number of people tell me "Thank you, you have no idea how much i need to hear that." or "Oh, I didn't think anyone even noticed or cared.". What is really surprising is that these comments come from people who seem to have their 'stuff' pretty well together.
You do have to be careful - there can be a level of creep factor. Being genuine is the key.
2. What are some ideas that you have tried that you would like to encourage others to also try to reach out? Be kind to people working in retail right now. This is a hard time of year for them. It's easy to smile as you check out of a store and say "I hope you have a great day" or "Thank you very much." It lifts your spirits and theirs.
Also, this time of year can be hard for folks. Just be present and ready to listen/talk. It's amazing how much people want to talk when they realize that you are there to just listen and not judge. All you have to do is say, "so, how are you doing?"
@MissPen
That is a really amazing idea that you do. I think a lot of folks appreciate that also.
I agree there are a lot of folks out there being in stores or on the roads and being nice all the time helps a lot. Those nice smiles and kind words help a lot. Asking folks how are you doing goes a million miles also. It is ok if they just say fine or some others may give you a book and really want to talk about things. Some folks don't know who they can talk to and just really want someone to just reach out to them for help
So I have a success story on this! My husband and I had an open house with lots of people (which is normally scary for me). Two women said they really wanted to hang out with me in the new year and we made promises to do that. My assumption has always been that people dont want to hang out with me. The truth of the matter is many people assume the same thing and wait to be invited. So, ask people to go for coffee or hang out gor dinner. Chances are that they are lonely too.
@Zengrl
That is a great success story good job. I agree others might just be waiting like we are waiting from them to ask us.
@DanaMH
Hi Dana, thanks for bringing up such an important topic.
1. What are you doing to reach out to others? As a listener I try to be available as much as I can, check in with people. When I see someone outside needing help to carry (as ex) I will offer my help, give what I can.
2. What are some ideas that you have tried that you would like to encourage others to also try to reach out? Take the phone and call, there might be someone who will be happy to chat too, don't give up on it because some might not be welcoming on the phone, always keep trying.
@amiablePeace77
That is great that you help as a listener and available as much as you can for folks and reach out to folks. Totally agree reaching out and us taking the 1st step of contact is important since sometimes others won't do that and even if they may say they are busy just keep on trying.
@amiablePeace77 So true about phone calls.
@Zengrl
Zengrl, time ago I was hesitating to do it, today I just try when a name comes up to my mind and you?
@amiablePeace77 I have tried with a few friends but they tend not to call back. I liked your idea of doing it the instant you think of someone.
@Zengrl
Zen, it's surely disappointing when people do not call back and everything has to come from one side. Are they sitll happy if you call them again? I found out that some people don't feel safe calling others or simplig too much rushing and forget it.
@DanaMH
I try to reach out to people but I am socially awkward and it is difficult. It works less than half of the time
@lwsjr68
Sometimes it doesn't work and we just need to try a little harder. I know sometimes what I do is count and look at like the lights or look at all the green things in the room and count how many items there are which helps sometimes then approach someone. And a very important thing is to remember to breathe.
Good Morning!
I go to the same restaurant everyday and order the same thing. Sit in the same chair...Sooner or later without saying a word everyone knows my name, and they are asking all about who I am. My beginning assumption is that I appear to be a creepy bearded bald old man and its better to be quiet in getting noticed, I wear orange, and look homeless on most days... by design...the folks who are frightened? There is no need to know them, they will always be frightened.
@PeterJC
That is great folks are starting to reach out and get to know you. Others shouldn't be judging us by what we look like since they don't know us until they talk to us and get to know us.
Excellent!
Folks judging me is my assumption... on certain days it can create a dark cloud in my brain. But certain days are not most days. It is my game...
@DanaMH
@PeterJC
Maybe you can use DBT Turning the mind
