50's Plus Check in thread August 27 to August 30
How are you all doing? Do you ever struggle with negative thinking with your mindset? If you have a harsh inner critic or get caught in worry, stress, anxiety, depression or wrestle with low self-worth, then you know some of the symptoms first hand.
Negative (unhelpful) thinking patterns can have a strong and sometimes devastating impact on our relationships, our health, our work… our lives.
What are some thinking patterns that you think you can change in your life?
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Yesterday i finally had to realize that I have to be silent and not talk to my Hubby or my Friends about my Health because they just dont care so I will deal with things on my own like i have always anyway and not put my Health both Physical and Mental on them , I tried getting my NP to come vist me but she is booked up until October I explained about my stomach my lips but was told its all stress by her assistant I even asked about my Labwork for my Thyroid which was suppose to have been done but now I Guess not so I got really upset and sat and cried so the only thing I can do is call the squad if I am feeling worse and not tell anyone because there is no one, and just do what I have too for me! . The Health care system wants to blame everything on Anxiety and Depression but I have surgeries that were not due to anxiety but I can not get that through my husbands head or my Nurse Practioner..
I will be okay because thats who I am !! :)
Peace have a great day everyone. !
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Sorry you are going through all that. A lot of our families and friends just don't understand what we are going through even when we do try to communicate with them and ask for help. That is why it is so awesome that we found 7cups and talk to folks here that do know what we are going through and can help dream up coping skills to help folks get through the days and care for one another.
Sorry about your medical team. Not sure if you have tried switching to a new provider or even a new company yet. I know I had to switch my team up and now getting better service from them.
@DanaMH Thank you and yes I have went through many doctors and therapist for many years now and there have been some good ones like at the er that knew my labwork was off due to HCG been in my blood stream when that shouldnt be due to me having a total hysterectomy , HCG should only show up in Pregnant women or a Tumor and sometimes it can be a False Positive so he wanted more testing done. My family doctor blew me off my hubby did too UNTIL the ct scan showed a tumor and then a MRI and then trips to doctors and surgery but it still didnt matter I was operated on and in the hospital for 2 weeks and a few came to see me but not one person sent me flowers nothing at all I have always sent flwoers and cards and did all i could for others and still do but not for me... and then my BD came and people forgot no presents no cake and me with 38 staples just removed from my head... I still feel hurt about things but its okay I am still going to be me and still fight for myself and others.. send the cards and flowers and gifts and cheer them up.
Sadly when i told I had a brain tumor I was made fun of and someone posted on facebook that i was faking it and that I was not sick.. someone who I stuck with during their health issues but she couldnt handle that I got sick and she wasnt the certain of attention so she got her clique to gaing up on me.. which is also fine I know one day in Heaven we all will answer for what we do what we say and I am good with that .. :)
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Sorry that is all happening. Sometimes folks need to care more and for some reason they just don't get what others need. Yes, I think a lot of folks would feel hurt since you put the effort in and then they don't which sounds like it might be more of a one sided relationship sometimes.
Sorry they did that on a facebook post and made fun of you and ganged up. For some odd reason others think we are attention seekers when we aren't. Sometimes folks see us as healthy like when we have depression because they can't see what is really going on.
That is so awesome to hear that you keep trucking through and still fighing and encouraging others and cheering others up. I know when I am in the rooms you are so amazing and helping folks in there which I appreciate a lot.
@DanaMH I had a long talk with my Hubby and just spilled my guts and told him how he made me feel of course he turned it around and then played the victim but this time i didnt give up I said we are going to set here and talk or this is over I am done!!! You either start acting like i exist and I matter or we are getting a divorce I can not live like this anymore so you either have my back or you dont !!! He apologized and said he would work harder and try to show more moral support!!
I hope and Pray it happens !!
Thanks for your support!!
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
That is so awesome that you had that talk with him and that he is willing to try harder. Not sure if you have done this or not but sometimes it also helps to have a list of the things that are working good and the things that aren't so that way they can look at this and then like in a few weeks/month you can review with them and say like this has really improved and I really like that and oh we still need to work more on this one.
@DanaMH Great Ideas for sure but with my Hubby that wont happen lol he takes everything so personally and he just doesnt work like that and he is not one who would do that , it would be nice if he were but he would feel insulted . We have been together since 1994 and for anyone to change its very hard not saying it cant happen because it can but I know him so well and just having a talk with him is pushing it but thats a great idea for others it may work!!
Love your way of thinking!!
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Sorry to hear that it won't work for your husband because that really does sound so frustrating. Maybe others have some other ideas that might work.
@DanaMH Thank you its really okay I love him and this comes and goes nothing new really. No worries I am okay, thank you for being so caring Dana!
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
YW - Glad to hear that you do love your husband and that you are doing okay.
I am pretty good on all of these. OK, I am not really eager to take risks, but I am very interested in learning new things. I am doing my best to improve myself both physically and mentally. Lots of challenges there, but I am up for challenges.
@Offmytrack
That is great to hear that you are pretty good on these. That is exciting you are interested in learning new things. That is all anyone can ask from anyone is to do your best to improve both physically and mentally and glad you are up for challenges.
Thank YOU Dana, for taking the time to read and respond to all these posts about negativity~! i know that can be difficult for me, i get overwhelmed, due to my own past negativity. i have relapsed into feeling sorry for myself this week, for many reasons... i like to say that i can take One blow, Two hits only phases me, but Three in a Row puts me down. that's what this week has been, like a Six Pack!
so, even tho i am feeling sorry for myself, i am so GLAD that i no longer fall into a suicidal depression~! being able to weather the storm is the best thing that's happened to me in, well, FOREVER~! i can just watch those negative thoughts and feelings arise and subside, i don't have to do anything to avoid them or suppress them... Hallelu~
@GusteeMoon123
WOW - I love light houses, that is an amazing picture. We go to the ocean a lot and look at different ones.
You are so welcome! Sorry you are feeling like that this week. I know some days/weeks/months are really hard for folks and that is where the coping skills and coping skills toolbox really comes into play. Glad to hear that you aren't having those thoughts anymore.
If you do ever need to chat 1;1 I am here.
52 and soon to be 53 but my Mind says No you are not going to be 53 you are still young inside your head ! I like my thinking :) I find it amusing when people on here will say how old are you and I do tell my age and they are like NO WAY HAHAHHAA , I am like why is that so funny they will reply because thats so old and I laugh and say guess what YOU will be 50 one day also lol so whos laughing now lol , they get a kick out me for some strange reason and I also see many thinking at age 50 you shouldnt have any mental health issues but its so not true we not only have that but also Physical also.
I know back when i was younger I just never thought of aging and we didnt talk about mental or physical health I really didnt start learning about any health issues until I started working in a Nursing Home as a CNA then moving into Therapy and then my own health changed starting with the Thyroid and stress... But even working in a Nursing Home I still never thought of aging and working with people that were in their 90s and some 100! I had my won Grandmother there and she was a pistol lol but I loved working with people so maybe thats why.. But now that I am older sure I would like to be younger but that isnt going to happen lol so we learn to adjust and be there for the younger generation who seems to be struggling alot more then we did even with my own childhood not being so great , but we also didnt have internet unless you count a tin can with a string and another tin can and us talking into those... lol THE REAL MENTAL HEALTH LINE - TIN CAN THERAPY! wish I had thought of that back then lol
HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYONE!
PEACE,
TDB :)
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
That is so good to here that you are pushing your mind to think you are still young inside your head! It is nice to have some kid in us still when we do get older in age. Once we get older there are so many things going on with us being mental health issues and/or Physical that hasn't happen to folks in the past and maybe one day doctors will figure out why there is a change all of a sudden. Maybe it is because people are speaking out more or maybe it is other things also.
People are living longer these days into their 90s and some 100's which is so amazing that their families are able to spend a longer time with them also. I agree the younger generation is having us adjust with them and they are teaching us many new things and we are adjusting to the new world with many new things like technology for example that we never had when we where growing up. The younger generation also does seem to be struggling alot more then we did in our childhood and maybe it is because of a lot of these new things and way more pressure to keep up with all of the change around them that we didn't have growing up also like cell phones and the web.
Yesterday was hard. Just felt so sad. Today I went to a fave park with my husband snd did some birdwatching. I think it was the most egrets and herons I
@Zengrl
Sorry to hear that yesterday was hard for you and that you felt sad.
That is so great to hear that you were focusing on nature and were able to see a lot of animals at the park. I know I like to watch the birds around here. Sometimes I think they don't know which way they want to fly because they are in big groups and then split off in different directions then they change the directions again and I just think - I am glad you aren't on the freeway doing this to the other drivers.
@DanaMH haha, Im picturing starlings since they fly in ribbons. It works well in the sky, but not the road—truth! 
@Zengrl starlings fly in patterns before roosting for the night https://youtu.be/eakKfY5aHmY
@soulsings
What are all these birds doing during the day around us?
@DanaMH well they are probably in the trees and bushes. Starlings can feed on farmer's fields causing great loss to the farmers
@soulsings
No sorry, I meant why are they flying all day long around here?
THIS CHICK IS COLORING HER HAIR LOL... I gotta have my dark hair back!! enough of this grey its time to wash it away! lol
I see many young people coloring their hair Grey!! I am shocked but its okay really but wait until they hit the age where it comes on its own lol .
I think the really pretty white looks beautiful but mine isnt like that at all and so wire like lol its all over the place I gotta calm it down! lol
HAVE A GREAT DAY EVERYONE!!
PEACE AND LOVE,
TDB :)
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
That is a great coping skill having your hair colored. I just got a perm during the weekend and it has been like 2 years since I have done that.
Around here they have the pink, blue and purple colors going on.
@DanaMH Thats great!!! I have not had a perm since sometime in the 90s but I loved my big hair lol , I do love the colors they are adding to hair now if done right it looks soooooooooo beautiful . I havent used any different colors I throw a silly wig on lol I dont wear them out in public thought but I might ya never know about me lol I do have alot of wigs but I dont wear them out either they make my hea hurt worse and they make your head sweat.. but they are so cool if people can wear them out.
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Sorry they make your head hurt. I know my grandma used to ware a wig and that was the first time I knew about them when I was growing up. You never know maybe those wild colors you can ware for Halloween it is coming up soon.
@Tyedyedbutterfly65 I tell people that I spend big bucks getting my hair silvered at my stylist. The truth is nature does that for me naturally.
I guess it all depends on what look you want to have.
@soulsingsplease dont turn your back on me now. I am worried about someone.
@Lauren63 I never turn my back on any member. I am sorry you are feeling worried. We are here to support you. If I do not respond right away then others on the team will. We are one community and we are here to support each other.