50's Plus Check in thread August 6 to August 12
How's it going everyone? This week I thought we could talk about Practicing A Nonjudgmental Stance
What are judgments?
Describing things as good or bad, valuable or worthless, smart or stupid, terrible or wonderful, beautiful or ugly, etc.
Describing how things should or shouldnt be
Describing by comparing or contrasting
Usefulness of judgments?
They allow for quick descriptions by creating simple categories
They are fast, short hand for describing preferences and consequences
Problems with judgments?
They often distract from reality (judgments may replace facts; when we judge we often stop observing)
They tend to feed negative emotions (anger, guilt, shame)
Positive judgments are fragile: anything judged good can also be judged bad
Steps for letting go of judgments
Practice noticing judgments. Keep a count of judgments.
Ask yourself, Do I want to be judging? Is the judging helping or hurting me?
Replace judgments with:
Statements of preference: I like… I prefer… or I wish…
Statements of consequences: This is helpful/harmful for…, This is effective/ineffective for…
Statements of fact: This thing happened in this way, at this time…
Practice accepting what is (facts, preferences, consequences) and letting go of the judgments. Let the judgments drift away.
Remember not to judge your judging!
What are some ways that you will start changing/letting go of your judgments?
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@DanaMH Very nice change for this week. This was an area that required some deep introspection to overcome. Thanks for the refresher!
@JolivetteListens
I agree a lot of us do need to rethink things and refresh our thinking a lot. Hope you have a good week.
Great post @DanaMH 
Certainly gives us all food for thought, there's something for everyone to ponder and change habits we may have acquired over time, it made me think and I'll be thinking before speaking in future, wel I'll do my best anyway, thanks.
Lucy2
Great post @DanaMH
Certainly gives us all food for thought, there's something for everyone to ponder and change habits we may have acquired over time, it made me think and I'll be thinking before speaking in future, wel I'll do my best anyway, thanks.
Lucy2
@lucy2
Hi Lucy,
Yes, it does give us all food for thought and change some of the habits that we probably have acquired over time. Thinking before speaking is good for a lot of folks. I know when I am upset with my husband I count to 5 and that 5 may be several times before I say something to him.
@DanaMH
That's a good tip Dana, I will certainlyy count to 5 and repeat it!
Lucy2
@DanaMH
That's a good tip Dana, I will certainlyy count to 5 and repeat it!
Lucy2
@DanaMH
That's a good tip Dana, I will certainlyy count to 5 and repeat it!
Lucy2
@DanaMH
Hi Dana, happy Monday 
, judging can take us into a "all or nothing / black or white" situation. I believe we judge automatically,.To me it's learned behaviour and can serve us well in certain situations, however not all the time, i am trying and still learning to accept certain things how they are, not putting a stamp on them.
Thanks for this insight post.
@amiablePeace77
I agree that sometimes we do go into that "all or nothing / black or white" thinking and need to go learn how to look at colors of the rainbow. I do agree that it is a learned behaviour and that can serve us well in certain situations, however not all the time, That is great that you are trying to learn new ways to accept things.
Thanks for the post.... links in nicely to Fast thinking and Slow thinking by kahnemman ... similar mechanisms I think.
@MikeMadrid
Kahnemann - thanks for this hint
Hi everyone- just checking in
@Sue1111
How are you doing?
@Sue1111
Hi Sue, nice to see you
I think this is a great idea
@tjb28
Thanks and welcome to the area. If you would like to join the tag list please fill out the form below. How are you doing?
@tjb28
I think so too, nice to see people joining
