50's plus Week-end Check-in March 15-17, 2019
HAPPY FRIDAY TO EVERYONE! Hope you all had a nice week 
We never stop learning, also not about ourselves. Often we think we know us but then when digging deep inside we still might discover something what we never became aware of. So today's question is:
Was there anything new you found out about yourself in the recent days or weeks?
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WOW. Since joining 7Cups it would be easier to count the weeks that i *haven't* learned something new about myself!
Most recently - I've learned that sometimes I do have some advice that i can share with others. The life lessons i have are valuble.
I'm learning that I can say no and the world won't come to an end.
@MissPen
Pen, that's great to hear. Saying No is sometimes a must to make sure you stay fine. I am learning too😊
Have a great weekend.
Yesss!! I discovered that not only is audio my worst method of learning, but it actually causes me anxiety. Someone was explaining a complicated game to me and without visuals or movement I just couldn
@Zengrl- me too! Going to classes for me is such a waste of time. It sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher, wuh wuh- wuh wuh wuh wuh wuh!
Yesterday, I learned how to print some forms from the internet at the library. I got stuck at the printer, and had to go ask for help. Humiliating, as I felt old and incompetent. Librarians do not shame me for asking for help. I know that it comes from childhood.
@Chickadee123 That
@Chickadee123
Not getting help in childhood or being ignored can influence our whole life, make us afraid or feel bad about asking for help. I hope that will change for you. We all need help at times.
@Zengrl It's pretty amazing that you have discovered this. I learned a few years ago that my best method of learning something is to be hands on, and/or to have a significant visual component. It's made learning so much easier!
@MissPen I think there are a lot of people out there that need to still figure it out, too.
@Zengrl
Zengrl, I am glad that after such a long time you found out what is adding to your anxiety.
@amiablePeace77, I am completely at peace each day, from the time I started following feel good vibrations and listening to my soul's voice ...I am sure I am leaving a positive impact on the people around me ...In a happier zone you see 
@Pageswithinmyheart
That is amazing, I am very happy to hear you feel well.
I found out I have misdirected anger that I thought I did not have.
I lashed out at an undeserving soul and I felt so bad, I misunderstood something they said an I flipped.
@scarletPear1945 omg! scarlet that sounds just like me! then i feel like an idiot and have to apolagize...it ALWAYS happens when i have frustration and anxiety.
Joining the misdirected anger gang. It's so odd, for my entire life I denied ever having anger issues because well that's not very ladylike, is it? I surely can't be angry.
I am processing so much out that I can't really express what I am figuring out in words yet except that I am just keeping a cliclose eye myself. I found myself angry at a situation I perceived to be a certain way. I wanted to ACT OUT. Not at anybody really, no one would know how pretty I was feeling except . . . I would. I do. So I just stopped, these days every time I am feeling a little out of control I am making cups of herbsl tea and just stopping. As it turns out, the situation was not at all what I thought. I feel good about just 'stopping'.
Saw a PBS special with Deepak Chopra this weekend. There was a lot of good stuff in there. Warrants further investigation. So much of the stuff he talked about was the stuff I get angry about and get this: none of it is in my control.
I am actually having a great weekend. First time in a long time. =)
@Firefly2021 you have no idea how much your comment meant to me! wow, i see i'm not the ONLYperson that struggles with anger issues.... thanks a million!
@imaginativeSpruce6668
Thank YOU! You can't imagine how good it is to know I am not the only one . . . I have always denied my anger to my own self. I had no idea it was something that could be talked about. I am learning so much.
@Firefly2021 me to! im tryin to stop my anger by leavin. removing myself from y
the frustrating situation. im havin some success...
@imaginativeSpruce6668. That's great ! Walking away is hard but it is easier every time you do it. Congrats on that progress.
@Firefly2021
You are surely not the only one, sometimes we learn at an early age to surpress any uncomfortable feelings, like anger, but it will only hurt us. Letting them out in a healthy way allows us to move on.
@Firefly2021 I am happy for you. For having a good weekend and for learning about Depak Chopra. He has written some great books. Do you like to read a real book in your hand or use a ereader like Nook or Kindle?
I was just looking for your name to check in and say hello. I'm so glad i saw this post. I can relate to your anger issue. I get like that mostly when I cannot control a situation or someone takes my control away. That cup of herbal tea does a good job calming me down so i can srep back and take a more objective look. I am learning to walk away before I get angry and process the events so I can see it all more clearly. It only took me 4 years to do that. :-/
During my mom's illness I got angry at the world. Alzheimer's takes away any and all control you might normally have in an illness situation since you mornally have a lucid patient to ask how do you like this or does this feel good or what do you want to eat. I was always angry...at the disease, at myself, at my boss for not being more sympathetic, even at the weather. Non of which I could control normally anyway.
You will find many things to ponder in Chopra's books. You might not accept it all but he writes much about the mind body connection which I found so helpful in understanding the whys of so many things. I wish you good reading FireFly!!
@purpleLake3807
Thank you for being happy for me. =) I will tell you, to wake up un the morning and not be instantly filled with that cold wave of dread and anxiety? To actually wake up and look forward to the day and various tasks I want to complete? It's incredible. I don't want much, I just want to not be miserable all of the time. That's it.
Yes, Depak! I am a reader, or at least I used to be a voracious reader. I like good old fashioned books, the smell of the pages, that tactile feel of the pages, it was always my go to comfort. That has fallen off in the last few years. I will have to order one of his books. Any reccomendations?
I never realized how much anger was an issue. I am like you, anything that is out of my control, I start spinning, making rash judgements, acting petty and really for nothing. Making a cup of herbal tea when I start to feel like that has been kind of huge. The action of making the tea and sitting to sip is becoming a litle habit and my signal to calm myself and reevaluate what I think is happening. I am going through A LOT of tea, lol. It is really helpful.
Geesh, it's only taken me 40 years to figure out that I am actually angry. I never had a proper label for it. I just labeled it "crazy" and thats pretty broad. To understand what is happening is remarkable. That must sound so silly that I didn't know that I was angry but I developed that thought process as a young person and never bothered to give it a second look, I just labeled myself crazy. *sigh*
(I get angry at the weather too!)
@Firefly2021 i don't think 40 years is so bad to realize the whys and hows of our personality. It is too close to see it objectively when we are younger. This process of seeking help and talking to others in similar pain helps so much in adding perspective. I didn't recognize my anger until i was 59....and started with my first therapist. After 4 years im just now seeing it clearer and am able to examine my actions better. That cup of tea and some quiet thoughts have really been a big part of it. I go through a lot of tea as well. But it is worth it to get that bit of perspective of myself. Im so glad you find that works as well.
I love a book in my hands as well. Especially a brand new one with the fressh ink and new paper.....i will inhale that new book smell like new car buyers do that new car smell. I make notes in most of my books so it helps to have a real book in my hands. Unfortunately I have moved into a new home that is less than 1/3 the size of my previous house. I have many bookcases i cant get in here so I suppose the area thrift stores will get a large influx of great books soon as i sort out the must keep from the others. I have been in love with books and encyclopedias since I was 5 which does not bode well for how many I can let go.
Good night!
@Firefly2021
These are some great thoughts - just stop, have a cup of herbal tea, reflect and things might be different.
Glad you had a great weekend.
@Firefly2021 start at the beginning of Deepak's work with "Ageless Body, Timeless Mind". Then check out "The Way Of The Wizard". There are lots more for you to read after that.
@purpleLake3807
Those are great videos to share, thank you.
@imaginativeSpruce6668
Thanks we can learn so much
@imaginativeSpruce6668. I think that happens far more often than people admit to doing. I've done that too....fly off the handle and then learn I was off base. Admitting we did it is a great place to start changing how we react. Don't be hard on yourself. You have lots of company.
@purpleLake3807 thanks for your reply. being a senior citizen, sometimes i dont feel i fit in on this site. but people like you and your comments encourage me to continue. yes i still struggle with anger control, and anything you share with me; i thank you.
@imaginativeSpruce6668 I'm 63 so you are in a group of varied ages. Dont let age be a factor....use us all to get better. I find that younger people can be a bit blunt but also hit the nail on the head in obsevations we may not see.... so we can use that for revaluation and growth toward our goals. Use what you can and let the rest go. Best of luck in your healing.
@purpleLake3807 thanks so much Purple, i think i agree with you on the young ppl. hope we bcan chat more later.
@scarletPear1945
Nobody is perfect, things can happen. I hope you can forgive youself for it. Maybe there is something you need to take care of?
What about apolozing to the person?
@amiablePeace77
I did that immediately when I realized it and I am still apologizing I still feel bad.
.
@scarletPear1945
You did a mistake, realized it and apolized immediately - you did well by apologizing. What could you have done else? Now it's the time to forgive yourself. Seems your ethical standards are very high and that might make you still feel guilty?
It is okay, you did everything you could.
@amiablePeace77
Thanks. I am still crying over that, trying to let it go.
@scarletPear1945
HUGS . Is there anything you can do to make you feel better, what usually helps?
@amiablePeace77
I have never done this before so II really don"t know
@amiablePeace77 I find the more I relax and allow myself to be the less the worries become the focus of my life.
@soulsings. Well said!
@purpleLake3807 thank you!
@soulsings
Soul, often relaxation is all we need. thanks for sharing.
I am struggling very hard with my 77 yr old fathers death Monday the 11th. He had been struggling for 6 months and his poor tired heart just couldnt go on anymore. It is the loss of my last living parent as I lost my dear mother in 2002 to ALS she was 62 and I had just turned 40. I am really struggling with grief and depression and anxiety. I have completely lost interest in my life and dont know how to make it better. I feel so broken and without love. Sleep is definitely a battle and working just makes me so exhausted trying to keep from getting emotional. Life sucks so badly right now because I am also in a great deal of spinal pain. I am waiting for my insurance company to give me authorization for the nerve block test injections to assist me.
@bgdave
I am so sorry for your Father's passing. This must be such a difficult time for you. I really feel for you and what you are going through. I have lost both of my parents, too. I know how lonely that can feel, what it feels like to be all alone in the world. I have had back problems too. Took me down for many months and it still reoccurs and takes me down. I get the no sleep thing, too. It always made me feel like I was kind of losing it when I couldn't even get the sleep I needed to recover from everything.
@Firefly2021 thank you. I am sorry to hear you experience back pain too. Being lonely is terrible.
@Firefly2021. Hi Firefly! Just saying hello before I end my day. Hope we can chat tomorrow. Haven't been able to get the 1 on 1 chat to let me connect with you. I will try again!! 😀 Have a blessed evening and a good sleep.
@bgdave i can sympathize with your situation. My dad passed in 1980 from cancer so mom and I were very close. I nursed her through Alzheimer's. She died in 2014 aand I am still struggling. My sleep pattern was so damaged by having to get up with her during the night. It gets better. Be good to yourself. I understand that loneliness of losing your last family connection. For me it is like being adrift with no anchor. Talking to cousins helps me. They also know how I feel and we can remember our parents, talk about our childhoods, and keep our memories alive. May you find blessings here on 7 Cups for healing your heart and finding good listeners.
@purpleLake3807 thank you for your kindness and my condolences for your loss. I am struggling and wil keep reaching out.
@purpleLake3807
It is wonderful how much you care and help someone although you are still struggling yourself. Healing from a loss of a loved one is one of the biggest challenges we have in live. I am glad you have good support but please never forget that you are not we are here for you too. 🧡
@bgdave I am so very sorry for your loss ... Sending big warm healing hug and please know that I am always there ...May God bless you with a lot of strength and love
@Pageswithinmyheart thank you for being kind and reaching out with ❤️ love, hugs to you as well.
@bgdave I just wanted to say hello. I hope you have had a better day today. Remember to do something special for yourself. You are worth it. You matter. You are unique. Hope to see you in the chat room soon.
@purpleLake3807 I wish there was a 50 and over chat open on a regular basis.? Thank you for your kindness.
@bgdave. There is a 50+ group. I found it by looking at the subcommunities under the 35+ group. Check it out. 😉
@bgdave I too feel the same dear ...
@bgdave
dave, I am so sorry to hear that your father passed away. Loosing a parent is one of the hardest things we have to go through in life. I can only imagine how much it is hurting you, knowing there are not in your life anymore. All the different emotions you are facing must be truly overwhelming and leave you in a state of hopelessness. This is a time where you need a lot of self-care and support. Please do not stay alone with your thoughts, come here, we are there for you. HUGS 🧡
@Pageswithinmyheart @bgdave @purpleLake
I hope we will get an open chat 50+ on a regular basis.
This is the 50+ discussion schedule and topics (pop up room 50+)
https://www.7cups.com/forum/50plusSupportCommunity_193/TeamToolsandTeamUpdates_1705/
@amiablePeace77. Thank you!! We will look forwsrd to updates on a 50+ chat room when it can be arranged. And also, thank you for your excellent support on our posts here. I appreciate your feedback on our issues. I am learning from comments from other people and your feedback to each of us. Have a blessed night.
Hi @purpleLake3807 . Thank you for your interest in the 50+ chat room. We have one that "pops up" whenever a discussion or open chat is held about 10 minutes before and closes after the discussion is completed. The schedule of when the 50+ room discussions can be found here: https://www.7cups.com/forum/50OverCommunity_193/TeamToolsandTeamUpdates_1705/50plusDiscussionsScheduleandTopics_172805/
@purpleLake3807
Thank you for your kind words. Look forward to see you in the discussions. 💚
Feeling extremely depressed and uninterested in life and very lonely.
@bgdave. I see you are up late like i am. I wanted to chevk in and see what I missed today while i was gone. I am sorry your loneliness is not improving. It is a slow process but it can get better. Did you go out today? Was your weather pretty where you are? Maybe just taking a walk each day to absorb some vitamin D from the sun can help. I am struggling with severe depression and severe anxiety Disorder. I dont really want to be around pepple, but I have been instructed to get outside every day for at least 30 minutes. I suspect 30 will be increased to 60 after a short while. But I can say it is helping me. Annd the benefits of the sun on our skin helps us produce vitamin D naturally rather than needing a supplement. I was just given a bicycle to ride so my time outside has some fun aspect. Is there something like that uou can do to make being outside more fun? Maybe ride to your local hangout where a few of your friends may be? Have a cup of coffee or cold glass of tea? Speak to a few folks and ride back home. Go to a park that is attractive and walk for 30 to 60 minutes.
Are you working with a therapist on 7 cups? I expect the therapist will have lots of suggestions for things to promote a positive experience. I love to go to our local library and read things I can't check out--reference material on family histories to learn more about my family tree. I also like walking around our small town speaking to business owners or people out shopping. What do you like to do?
@bgdave
Depression and loneliness are very hard to deal with and can take out the fun of our lives, HUGS. Sorry you feel like there is nothing in life which catches your interest. To me thats a typical symptom of depression when at a very low point. It might sound very hard, maybe sound impossible but I believe and experienced that one does not need to stay in that low, be stuck there. It is hard work but you can get out of it. Something I find very helpful is a kind of emergency plan, writing down a few things which used to make you happy in the past and do them, even if you do not feel like it. It helps to wake up interest in life again and after some time of practice to reinvent happiness for yourself.