Looking for help in adjusting a core belief

@waterdragon81. Hi nice to meet you. There are some over 55 activity centers where I live. I found these a good place to meet people. Since the pandemic they are even offering classes over zoom. I know some people who meet others at meetings at their place of worship. We have some discussions here at 7cups which helps me to feel less alone. I’ll post the schedule here :

https://www.7cups.com/forum/50OverCommunity_193/TeamToolsandTeamUpdates_1705/50plusDiscussionsScheduleandTopics_207920/

I hope that you find an idea that helps.

@waterdragon81. I forgot to mention that there was a time in my life that I felt socially awkward. I found attending support groups helpful for getting to know people with similar problems. I even met some friends this way.

Hey Sarah (@waterdragon81),

Thats a pretty big step you've made - to identify a core value that you need to explore and unpick. Just putting a name to it can empower you to take it on. Well done!

7 Cups is a great place to explore this further. And there are lots of people here who will help you to do it. One specific place you might want to try is the recently launch Huddles. These are weekly group chats where you can explore your issue in more depth. There is one for relationship stress, which might be a fit for you?

You can find out more about them here - https://www.7cups.com/forum/GroupSupport_168/7CupsHuddles_2394/7CupsHuddlesSignUptoParticipateinaClosedGroup_280178/?p=3

I hope its helpful to you

I want to be your friend 🥺

@waterdragon81

Welcome to our community Sarah. I hope coming here will help you to deal with your core belief. The thought of "I am alone" sounds quite heavy to me and I wonder whether it means to you being alone in the sense that there is no one to whom you could address yourself when you need help, no one who looks after you and that you always have to do everyone on your own? So sorry to hear about your upbringing, a child needs to feel cared for not only about by regular meals or clothing. A child needs love and safety to grow well and be able to develop a necessary amount of trust in the world otherwise the adult will have problems to establish relationships with others lateron. I'm so glad that you decided to challenge this core belief. Reaching out like you did here will hopefully show you that you are not alone and that there are people like you here on the site wanting to help themselves and connect to others.

You have been given some ways to connect on the site already. The community calendar will give you information about the events taking place every day/months. Great ways to connect with others are open chats. The 50+ community offers an open chat every Monday at 6:30 pm edt. and well as Fridays at 6:00 pm edt.

You can find a variety of healthy coping skills here. Something I find helpful is to write a core belief down and explore it more in detail with the downward arrow technique .

I hope this helped. Happy to help if you need any further information.

@waterdragon81 Hi Sarah. I had a similar upbringing and a similar feeling about myself. Google the TED talk by Dr David Burns. I can’t say say my particular self defeating belief was removed immediately, but I understand some folks can experience significant results in just a few sessions with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I would urge you to find someone who practices TEAM CBT for best results. In my case, it was not CBT alone that helped me crush certain beliefs, but I believe it was a precursor.

Hello.

I have felt alone most of my life, mostly because those around me just couldn't understand me, or were unwilling to try.

I have never had a close friend that did not have an agenda. Everyone always wanted something from me, money, sex, a ride, ... A babysitter. Even my own family members manipulated me into trading time with them into doing their chores.

Until I could take it no more! The first time I said No I was out. Rejected.

So even though I do not have to be lonely, I am alone.

I am also seeking a friend. Somewhere.