Benefits of being a mid-life single?

@GoingInCircles365

I think you are correct in your thinking that perhaps knowing yourself completely is not only better but helpful to not fall into any similar patterns of past relationships.

I feel many worry too much about being alone yes sometimes it can be lonely but IMO far too many find a new "close enough" relationship to fill the gap.

a few things is No more compromise on what is for dinner or what movie to see or anything....

NO having the small things that drive a person crazy in a relationship .......

did you take out trash / empty or start a dishwasher/ pick up the mail/ remember anything important like dates or appointments ...... the do not nag me but then complain why did you not remind me of X..... the back and forth of no one listening ...... i think my marriage lasted as long as it did simply cause he was traveling for work and i had enough time to miss him between being frustrated by the little things

The main advantage: Freedom. You don't have to account for your conduct to someone else 24-7. If you feel like leaving your home at 5:30 p.m. & you eventually return after 9, there's no one to immediately blast you with "Where have you been?! What were you doing & who were you doing it with?", etc. the minute you walk through the door. You can do what you want, when you want. Or not, if you don't feel like it. There's no one to get on your case about it. That's the advantage I enjoy the most!

There's no guarantee (it largely depends on where you live & what kind of neighbors you have) but another advantage is that it's often quieter. If your ex-wife is a chatterbox, you don't have to put up with that anymore. If your ex-husband liked to talk about whatever football team he was a fan of & you're not interested in that, you'll never have to hear about it again. This is especially true if your ex watches TV while you don't.

@GoingInCircles365

[not going down the religious rabbit hole]
God made us social beings. [I also think he has dry homour like me]
Ok checked that Box ... moving on.

I am a INTJ 'Turbulent Architect' [a kind of Myers-Briggs Extended Version]
What does that mean?
Introvert, we introverts recharge our batteries with alone time.
19 Year relationship, and have almost zero personal time. I am lucky if I get an hour or two in a week.
Introvert / Analytical - I look for and take comfort in logic. I do not understand emotion but my life experiences has helped a little.
I am not a very good social person. Have issues with Social Queues and 'Seeing the Obvious'

Benefits:
Number one (to me)
Being Older (which I love) means, I know what I know.
As Auntie Mame Dennis says "Life's a banquet, and those poor *** are starving to death." Or something like that ;)
We can pick and choose [with the skill and the wisdom that comes with age] what is being served on our Table of Life.
We are grateful for the past feasts that we might have indulged in, for they have molded and shaped us into the person we are today.
By no means perfect, but by all means, I am me and You are you. You bring different things to the Table of Life. As a Single Person, you get to learn\define\articulate\expand while sampling the Tapis

Now with the whole idea of embracing and developing routines. Taking time in self development...
I am by no means an example or role-model but will share.
My Mother taught and raised me to never 'require' anyone for anything.
The Logical and Rational of being single is that you define You. without having some external being defining and controlling or dictating.
You can chose to sit at home and watch CSI: Vegas tonight.
Or pick up the Cell and text <fill blank> for a Afternoon Glass of Sherry with a side of conversation.
Didn't like the conversation? Don't text <fill blank> Don't have any and just listen. Your not living with that person nor you 'require' them.

Comedy side?

You get to hog the whole bed. If you roll over, you don't steal the covers.
You get to pass as much gas as you wish without Judgment!
You get to turn the heat up or turn it down. Some don't like it hot.
You get to choose to get dressed or run around in the buff.
You get to wear underwear with a hole in it.
You get a single meal with a single price (Not spending as much).

Hi @GoingInCircles365 - thats a great question / prompt!

There are soo many benefits to being single. But the most important is probably that it gives you the time and space to focus on discovering who you are. There is no greater journey in life than discovering who you are.

What motivates/demotivates you? Where do you get your energy from? What new skills/hobbies do you enjoy learning? Whats your favourite morning/evening routine? Whats your perfect day off?

@GoingInCircles365

I am inviting you to join me in the Sharing Circle chat room where you will meet other members

of 7Cups.com 😊

@GoingInCircles365

Dilemnia is natural to happen. Being with someone for years unknowingly we get into habit of someone around.

Good part is you did not spend whole life with false hope one day thing will fine.

Proud of you to take courageous steps. It not easy to cut tie.

Benefit .. there would be thing you would have hope to do ..is time to make list n starting making tick over it.

Like adventurous ..road trip..or cooking class or learning dance form n many more..

Like other said you can go anywhere ,do anything what prior plan and can eat whatever you want.

Do you think now you are more clear and sorted about what type of person you want in life?

I don’t know if this applies to you, but I’m looking forward to not having anybody call me multiple times while at the grocery store asking what to get when I gave him a list. 😂😂😂

@GoingInCircles365 More time to focus on you. One less person to worry about. No arguments about where you want to eat, etc. I mean, come on, nobody is there to argue about whether it's too hot or too cold. Get a pet. Have a snack. Give your pet a snack.