Domestic Question
Hello Everyone, I hope this finds you well. Quick question: How do you ask a partner/husband for help with household chores/tasks? I do 99% of all the work in the house. This includes all cleaning, finances, outside yard work, cooking etc. Today when my husband is off of work (has not had but 1 full week of work since last Oct. due to slow business), I tried to get him to take the dog to the vet. Vet had appts. later in the afternoon, after I should be home from work and his comment was, well you will be home then right? UGHHHHHHHH How do I get him to help without upsetting him so much. I mention I do all the work, I mention I am overwhelmed, I mention I need his help, but his needs/wants ALWAYS come first. How do I get him to understand this.....
@Cheri32
Had this exact conversation last weekend.... told spouse i did all household chore and he did nothing...
He always implies his job is more important and he plays up a medical condition... I had to stand my ground. and if he does not pick up the slack they just won't get done .... saving their feelings and hoping they come around only build resentment in us like a plaque that can not be cleaned.
@toughTiger6481 Thank you for the response. He gets defensive as well. He tries to play the work card also but he is averaging only a 3 day week so that is out the window. Then its the make me feel guilty card about how I do not want him to be able to go to the gym. His workouts last about an hour, so what about the other 23 hours in the day. I am a teacher and then I come home and work until exhaustion. This continues on the weekends. UGH. Some men are soooo lazy. Like having a teenager.
@Cheri32
If he has health issues sometimes it is also a form of depression and not believing they can do much. Afraid of finding their real limit... upset if they have to take a break in doing a task etc.
They have to see what they are able to do and how it is better to have a spouse who is not unhappy carrying the load and exhausted. I believe in telling it like it is yes the become defensive and mad but mine at least when given time lets the message sink in and starts small but at thi point some help is better then none.
