Now what?
43 yrs married and I had him leave today. A behavior over and over that I said I would not live with if it continued and it happened again. He actually had said he would leave if he did it again but it ended up with me telling him to go. Really bad timing as we have joint commitments coming up as soon as Fri - speaking engagement, in charge of huge group that we run two sat from now, a get together with others Sat. I have no one to turn to because at my age it is unacceptable to separate and it will be on my head. The woman keeps it together no matter what. Also everyone really likes him
@amicableTurtle9049
Hey there, thanks so much for this post and for sharing what you're going through. Having the courage to leave someone who's not right for you or hurting you is absolutely incredible - it takes huge strength of character and I think you're utterly incredible for sticking to what is right for you. It sounds like you've really stuck up for yourself and I hope you can find the strength to recognise that.
There's never a perfect time for a break up, is there, and the next few weeks sound really tough. I'm so sorry that you feel like you have to keep it together and that you have no one to turn to. It very much sounds like his actions and behaviour are the cause of the split, and I hope that no one blames you for what happened - or if they do, you have the strength to keep putting yourself and your needs first.
If you'd like to talk anything through 1:1, please do reach out - I've never been in a 43+ year relationship, but I can always be here to listen. 💙 I hope you find the strength you need to get through today, and that you can find some time to do something kind for yourself.
@amicableTurtle9049
People may like him because they only see what he lets them. I have one of those charming to other a jerk in private.
Age is not a factor as much in many areas the divorce and breaking up is happening among older people. Why live the years left with someone who makes you unhappy. if the speaking and other engagements are a business situation, can you both participate as business partners not as a couple?
this will be a big change, and many are in similar situations but may be too afraid to tell someone to leave. you are strong enough to do that you will get thru what is next.
@amicableTurtle9049
That was very brave of you to ask him to leave. It has to be hard after all that time together? I know it would be for my wife and I, just one year less than you.
I can't imagine what you are going through but if you will not be comfortable at his side for these commitments, maybe talk to people who will be there and let them know. I'm sure some would understand either way you decide.
Welcome to 7Cups, sending lots of hugs your way 🤗🤗🤗
This sounds like an addiction problem. I say this because I was in 2 relationships with different sorts of addicts when I was young. It's intolerable and probably won't ever change. You did the right thing. I support you, you're worth it.
I had to say it twice: I am not happy together. After 10yrs of singlness i start to be who i was before, free mentally work, clean, wear, do simple things with no external support, pay all what i gain till i havo only regular consume to pay and pocket money for great pleasure thanks to easyness to feel while walking, talking and choosing to stay only wher i belong, otherwise i am enough by myself, as a mom to a son we share harmonious space home. We are a team, he works i do, and we support after knowing the next challenge.
