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How to avoid being taken by others

User Profile: pamharley003
pamharley003 July 21st, 2025

When we interact with other people family, friends and co-workers. We begin to wonder what their intentions are? Intention is when we listen to what someone is saying, watch their body language etc. People act a certain way so they can see if their lies are not heard or their movement is being watch to see if their serious or just playing for their benefit.

Setting boundaries is when we watch and listen to what someone says or acts and using our ablility to access the siutation better so we are not hurt by them. If someone has lied to you or used you in a certain way we set boundaries of our own on that person. We being to watch the next time we are together with the person to almost having a wall up.

We being at an early age to gain trust in others just like we would want them to trust us. When we are used by someone it lowers our self-esttem and we begin to have mental issues thining it was our fault this happened, when it was not our fault. But we learn to accpet someone just like we want to be accepted. Nobody is perfect we all make mistake in life some more than others. 

We need to learn how to defend ourselves around others speak up and be heard and not be treated like a wedlcome mat. Some examples are:

Finding their intentions: this helps us to be aware , be on guard when someone asks us a favor, or speaks to us to closely listen to what it is their saying.

Trust patterns not apoligies: We want someone to mean the words I am sorry, but we watch them afterwards to see if there is a pattern forming of how they act after the apology. Old habits die hard.

Believe any red flags: We begin to watch the actions afterward and if a red flag pops up we stand our ground with the person.

If it doesn't seem right DO'NT do it : if something feels off or your having second doubts then don't do it. Save yourself any problems that might of occured if you did a favor for someone or spoke of someone to others.

Be careful who your talk to: Be careful who we vent to about others, some like causing drama and go back to the person we spoke able and twist and turn a web of stories around. 


What boundaries do you place on someone who repeats a situation?

How can we make sure we are okay after something happend with a family member or friend ?


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User Profile: amiablePeace77
amiablePeace77 July 21st, 2025

@pamharley003

Great topic!


Unfortunately, I've been somewhat too forgiving in the past, always looked for reasons to excuse a person's behavior so they kept on doing the same thing with me. This changed however and today I take distance from people who repeatedly harm me. It took me a while to understand that not everything can be my fault but it's actually the person I needed to let go. 

User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 July 22nd, 2025

@pamharley003

I need to learn this 💕💜

Even when I know I'm right, if a family member cries or pulls on my heart strings, I forget what they did wrong and immediately backtrack, instead of sticking firm!