The point is??
This is not worthy of anyones time .This has no point…just stating the same facts that I have dealt with all my life.. I have realized after this last attempt at “getting help” via therapy/meds that it is a waste of time and money. I need to just accept that I am the way I am and nothing is going to be any different, I will never know true happiness, what true emotions feel like, what loving and feeling love feels like. Among other things.
I may be forced to accept who/what I am, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have always and will always hate myself and the waste of a life I have lived.
Every time I have tried to get help and failed makes all of this worse. I have rebuilt the wall in my mind to bury as much of me from the world as possible. I really tried to avoid doing this after my breakdown. But have come to realize that I have no choice in order to survive day to day. I have become more reclusive than I ever have been. I am done trying. I am just going to try and wait for the end to take me.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
Hugs (if accepted), it seems that you have given up on getting better. I am very sorry that therapy/meds did not help you the way you expected it and that you are hurting so bad. When we start accepting ourselves and surroundings without expecting but just hoping for the best outcome a change in the way we see ourselves and others changes. I hope that acceptance will help you to find happiness within yourself.
Thank you
@amiablePeace77 Thank you again, please accept my apologies for not truly appreciating your kindness until now .
💙@Iamwhoiamwhoami
It's nice to see you again Iamwhoiamwhoami. I just re-read your post and can feel the despair when you talked about hating yourself and avoiding people. This is some time ago, how are you feeling now? 💙
@amiablePeace77 Thank you so much for reaching out. I am still struggling with those same feelings but my journey has taken an unexpected turn. I have made a number of posts today and reached out to all those who reached out to me and I didn’t recognize or truly appreciate their efforts. I have been made aware that my health is failing and time is running short. I have accepted the facts of my fate but I still have not accepted myself. That is a long journey I have struggled with all day. I need to accept myself in order to be at peace with the journey so when the time comes it can come peacefully.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
I'm glad you come here and reach out Iamwhoiamwhoami, you're part of this big 7cups family and I hope you still will be for a very long time 💙. Having accepted your fate is huge. Know that we are always here for you if you want to share more.
@amiablePeace77. Thank you again for your kind words of support and encouragement. I am extremely grateful having you in my life.
@Iamwhoiamwhoami
I appreciate your kind words and that you still show gratitude despite your own challenges.
@amiablePeace77 The reality is I am truly appreciative and grateful and thankful and so many other things along those lines. The light from the original few that reached out to me, was so bright that it reached into that deep dark winding maze of a pit of despair that I was able to see it. It took awhile but this community had brought me a long ways towards the opening. Unfortunately I got pushed back in, but that is not the point here.
