Payton & Celaeno's corner to chat
Hi, @Paytonfaye2003! Because I'm an adult member & you're a teen member, we can only interact through Feed and Forum, but not through every forum section - I think I created a thread somewhere where you don't have access as a teen, hence this second trial ^^ I thought it would be cool if we have dedicated space to do that. So welcome in our own corner in the forums - that way it will be easier for us to communicate. If you have any questions, just ask.
Hospital situation has to create only new stress for you, so I'm really proud of you that you keep reaching out and writing to me. It is hard for you and still you don't giving up. Please keep me updated - I'm always glad to see messages from you ❤︎
Thank you for being honest with me. I also have an eating disorder, but of a bit different kind, so I recognize your effort to eat anything to just take care of yourself. It may seem small, but you're doing your best and that's enough *hugs* Proud of you, lovely.
Getting back to a healthy weight takes time, but I believe in you. You can do it, lovely, and I and the 7 Cups community will be here to support you - we have forums about it + a helpful guide, so please take a look at it. You can find helpful resources and similar stories of struggle, which are inspiring. I can help you find some listeners, but firstly I just want to know if you can reply to this thread.
I'm everyday on 7 Cups, but I don't have a fixed time - I think I am also in a different time zone than you are (I'm from Europe) ^^; I always read all of the notifications, but sometimes I am busy or just don't have enough energy at the moment to reply, because I struggle with depression. But don't worry - I'm always replying as soon as it's possible. Hope that's okay with you.
Sending love & thinking of you ❤︎
@Celaeno
Once again, its almost 3am and st still wide a wake!!!
@Paytonfaye2003, so sorry to hear that, lovely... Insomnai is dreadful, I know that from my own experience as well.
*hugs*
Let me know if you managed to get any sleep, lovely. You are always welcomed to write to me when you get another sleepless night. I'm here for you, lovely.
So it's 6am right now in your place when I'm writing this post? So I think we have a 6 hours difference between us - it's a midday in my place.
Sending good wishes!
@Celaeno
I fell asleep at 4:30 this morning and just wake up! It sucks...
@Paytonfaye2003, I'm here, just read your messages. What's wrong, lovely?
I'm sorry that you have such distorted sleeping pattern. It's must be hard...
*hugs*
@Celaeno
The Doctors said that They feel its best to send me to another Place so they can help me with the one on one eating... I will be leaving the hospital once they have a Bed Available... I AM SO SCARED AND DONT WANT TO GO... I AM STARTING TO PANNIC...
@Paytonfaye2003, oh, sweetie, that must be extremely stressful for you. Having to go to another medical center is scary, because you don't really know what is happening and how it will affect you. But I'm here for you, I will stay with you in this new place and you won't be as alone.
*hugs tightly*
Try to focus on your breathing. Breathe deeply, in and out. In and out. That's really helps for me when I'm having my anxiety attack. Just focus on your breathing. It's okay.
*hugs again*
I think the doctors are thinking about your well-being, even if they are making a decision which terrifies you. Is it possible for you to learn a bit about this new place?
I'll be here for you. I'm thinking of you, lovely.
*hugs*
@Celaeno
Ty:(
@Paytonfaye2003, hi, how are you feeling today, lovely?
@Celaeno
I am okay... i didnt know how to fine this! Thanks you... i was so worried about you... i thought u were very sick...:(
@Paytonfaye2003, I see ^^; I've had a migraine for two days and it was pretty hurtful and unpleasant, I'm feeling better now.
How are you, lovely? Do you still have a fever? Hugs!
@Celaeno
Hey, I figure out how to get here... That makes me very happy... How are u feeling? I miss you so much... Every week we have weekly weigh ins, and they are on Fridays... Well I have been eating more and this past friday I didnt gain weight... Alot of people were upset but As much as i know I have to gain, I was releaved... But Now I have to work harder... I have been feeling down cause Its getting closer for the holidays... Its not fair that I am still here... I understand nobody wants me and That I do have Issues but I wish I could be with someone who cares about me even if its just for the Holidays... It makes me sad!!! Miss you
@Paytonfaye2003, glad to hear that, lovely ^^ It is always nice to get a message from you. Right now I'm on the mini-break from 7 Cups, because I'm trying my best to graduate from universtity and have a lot of things going on, mostly stressful ones. But for you I always find time ❤︎
I see, thank for updating me. Are you still in the old hospital or has you been transfered to this new center already? I know that you don't feel comfortable with gaining weight, but you are doing it for yourself, so you can have a healthy body and can get out from the hospital. People can get upset, bu your well-being is most important here. I know that you will work harder - you are strong and determined and I believe in you, darling.
Holidays will be stressful and may be difficult for you to get through, but your worth doesn't depend on your family. You are loving and deserving love from the default, no matter of your issues. I also have my struggles, but here we are - in this community, talking to each other and reaching out beyond the screens. You have every right to be sad, but no matter of the maelstrom of your emotions, you're not alone. I'm here, lovely.
Let me know how the next weigh-in on this Friday will go for you. Remember that I'm always here for you.
*hugs tightly*
@Celaeno
hi, how are u? miss talking with you!!!
@Paytonfaye2003, hi, lovely! I miss talkin with you too.
*hugs*
I'm quite fine, thank you for asking. Still trying to finish my work and graduate from uni, nothing new ^^; How are you? How are you feeling lately?
All my love!
@Paytonfaye2003, how are you doing lately? Sending hugs!
@Celaeno
im okay i guess, still waiting for my life to change for the better... i miss you... i can never find this to talk to you... but glad u reached out to me... I feel like im always depressed all the time... idk... im always feeling down... hate being alone for the holidays... its not fair...
@Paytonfaye2003, it's completely understandable that you want something better for yourself, lovely. You really do deserve it.
Really, feel free to write to me any time you want - I will always make sure to respond. Talking with you is a pleasure, not any burden. Don't hesitate to reach out. We are all here to support each other, lovely.
*hugs*
If you have problems with finding this thread again and again, is it possible for you to bookmark the page somewhere? On your browser for example?
It's not fair, I agree. And holidays are difficult for me too, but from different reasons. I can't really fully imagine what you're experiencing, but know that you're not alone alltogether. You have always this community and me. Maybe you have depression? Have you done any kind of screening for this disorder, for example using this test?
All my love!
@Celaeno
I just took this test and got an 87... I miss talking with you. and i did book mark this page, so I am good now...:(
@Paytonfaye2003, it's good that you took this test, even if you have such a high number. I also got it so high my first time and then I didn't do anything. I reached out only 3 years later, wasting moments to recover from it, pussing myself through the pain which was totally unnecessary and avoidable. It was hell.
But you don't have to. I know that you are struggling with great personal losses, but you don't have to struggle with depression on top of that. Doctors can really help with that. They really can.
I know that can be scary, but is it possible for you to reach out to the doctor? Can you sign up for a visit? Can you ask an adult to do that for you? What possibilities you see? You can recover from the depression. You have already got lost of hard times, you don't have to allow for this disorder to ruin the rest. You deserve peace.
*hugs tightly*
What do you think about that?
@Celaeno
I am going to lay down. 
I hate asking for help. all i need is a family. then I will be good... Idk Life really sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Paytonfaye2003, how are you feeling today, lovely? I know that life is especially cruel and hard for you right now. I know that you;re struggling with so many negative experiences and if I could I'd run to you and hug you and help you in person to give you the life you deserve. Asking for help is hard, but lovely, you have every right to ask for it. You deserve assistance from people who can support you and going o a doctor will definitely help with your depression. I've been using the help from psychologist and psychiatrist and there is no shame in that. There are here to help us, just like the doctor which gives us a prescription for glasses when we have troubles with seeing clearly.
You're experiencing a lot of pain, but you don't have to suffer. You can save yourself from it. Remember that I'm here for you.
*hugs tightly*
Loking forward to hear from you, lovely!
@Celaeno
This thread is very lovely :)
Hi, @Paytonfaye2003! Just wanted to let you know that I'm deactivating my account for the time being, so I can pay better attention to my mental heath and properly address my issues. It's not a permanent break or anything, it's just something I need right now. Although I'll sometimes come back to check-in with my listeners or to maybe participate in the guided discussion, I'll not respond to any notifications - sorry about that. But I will think about you, lovely, and sending you all of the strength and support ❤︎
All of my love and see you soon,
Celaeno
@Celaeno
Please dont go... I hope ur okay! but i understand u need time for yourself!
@Paytonfaye2003, don't worry, I will be back. Hugs!
@Paytonfaye2003, I'm finally back!
Sorry that it was so long. How are you, lovely? I'd love to hear from you!
*hugs tightly*
@Celaeno
I missed you so much! when will you be on so we can talk?
I am normally on after 10am EST time... Hugs
@Paytonfaye2003, ok, so I'll be here in the thread around 10am EST, so that we can chat. Hear from you soon ^^
@Celaeno
i want to talk now lol if ur on:)
@Paytonfaye2003, I'm sorry! I went to sleep yesterday, because it was already 3 am in my timezone ^^;
But I hope we can talk today. I'll be around, lovely.
All the best!
@Celaeno
I cant talk long, and im sorry Ive been sleeping alot... I am just getting over the flu. Still very congested and not feeling the greatest! I am so glad your back. I missed you so much!
@Paytonfaye2003, lovely, that's okay! Get as much sleep as your body needs to fully rest - I hope soon you will much better. That's totally okay. I miss you too, my young friend.
*hugs*
Sending you lots of hot tea and cozy blankets to aid you in recovering from the pesky flu!
@Celaeno
I miss you, alot has happed since youve been gone... I missed you... how are u doing?
@Paytonfaye2003, hi, lovely! I'm pretty much study all the time, becase I have a final exam on the 21st of December which will allow me to graduate from a university with a degree ^^;
And how are you? Would you like to tell me what happened during my self-care break? All the best!
@Celaeno
well my birth mother over dosed on herione, and she didnt make it... She always picked drugs over me anyways... I truly hate her! I am trying to get better so i can get out of this place....
@Paytonfaye2003, sorry, I'm so sorry, my deepest condolences. I know that you have negative feelings about her, but I'm sad that you have to struggle with overwhelming ammount of grief this year. You're such a brave, kind person, lovely. If only I could hug you in person and say how special you are, regardless of what everyone has been telling you.
*hugs tightly*
Soon, this year will be over and you can start anew. Please know that I recognize all of your efforts, and I couldn't be more proud of how you handle your heartaches. You're doing what you can and I really appreciate it, my friend.
*hugs again*
My lovely @Paytonfaye2003, I've missed you! I was away, because I had my university exam, but now I'm back. I'm really worried about you, sweetheart. I've seen your feed post about self-harm - how are you feeling, dear? Are you safe?
I know that life is unbearable harsh and difficult for you and I'm terribly sorry that you have to cope with so many negative feelings. But know, my friend, we're here for you. We are here to talk and support. I'm here for you. And I believe in you - you're strong and loving, and even feeling so exhausted you can get through this difficult times. trust me, lovely.
*hugs tightly*
And please, I rally bego you now, whenever you feel hopeless again, and having suicidal thoughts, please use this site. Please always use this site before acting. Give yourself this opportunity. Please do it for me.
I'm looking forward to your message. With all of my love!
@Celaeno
@Celaeno
Did you see the post I tagged you in in the Holiday forum? I am have such a hard time... I am sick of trying.. I am at my breaking point and just want to die and be done... I am sick of always feeling not good enough and having to try hard at everything to get what I want... Why do i have to try so hard, its stupid. No matter what I am still here cause i have no wheres to go! enough is enough! "crying". I am at my breaking point...
@Celaeno
I'm just sitting here wondering when my life will Actually get better. Everybody keeps saying soon! I will find the love of a family, once I get my health Better! I have been away from home for almost 5 months. And it totally sucks big time... I keep getting bounced place to place and now I am at this place, and its litterly sucking the life right out of me...
I am sick of people telling me that I have to get my health better in order to get out of here... I am always trying, and I am told I HAVE TO TRY HARDER... I am the only one who has to work really hard to get out of here... I Just want to be happy and have a family so bad.
I don't understand why my bestfriend killed herself and left me here knowing that she was all I had. She was the only one in my life who made me feel like I was one of the lucky ones... That I was a good girl and She said I always wore my heart on my sleeve... I Have always been the one who liked helping people But ( the one who never liked asking for help). I'm Still that way...
Im not sure tho why she left me, we were like sisters and she was my ROCK... We always had planned to get an apt together and be best friends forever and always, and live happy ever after... But she broke that PROMISE! The Day she left me changed my life FOREVER...
Then my birth Parents Sent me away 1 Month later from my bestfriend killing herself... What Kind of Parents Send there only child away knowing all the hurt I was feeling cause of my friend. They should of been there for me, But instead turned there back on me when I needed them most... But Now looking back at my life I can actually say they have never been there for me... My mom was a crack head and cared more about her drugs then making sure I was taking care of... Where was my mom when I was getting Molested by her boyfriend in my bed. while she was passed out, at the table doing drugs with her friends... Where was my mother when i was molested by her boyfriend for years, and she didn't even care! She brought me into this world, She was supposed to protect me.... Then after all of this she sends me away, and never looked back not once.. Who does that? I am so sick of being at places where they don't give to shits about me. All they care about is not loosing there job and getting money... My whole life I was tought that i wasent good enough, that i was a mistake and that I will grow up to be a looser. Well so far she is right... I am a Bad person and I don't deserve, to be loved, I am damaged and nobody will ever want me... I will never know what its like to be a kid, or grow up to possibly be a mommy of my own someday... I'm a LOSER and My Parents were Right!
It has been a rough year thats for sure... Not sure what to think about it all... As time goes on and the Holidays gets closer, I feel it only gets harder for me.. Thanksgiving was very hard for me and to be honest I think christmas will be alot worse for me! Alot of people have came in and out of my life and I have really bad seperation anxity. I know I was hurt in the home i grew up in, between being sexually abused and my parents acting like i deserve all the bad things that happened to me. everyday knowing how I was a big disapoint to my parents since they had me. they say how much I runied there lives and that there biggest regret was having me... Im starting to think of how I runined there lives, I was the one who was sexually abused by my moms boyfriend time and time again. And all my mother thought about was her drugs! Her drugs were always her first choice. She over dosed on herione and died doing the one thing she loved most (her drugs). Between my bestfriend killing herself in July, to my parents sending me away, and signing off there rights to me. Im starting to think my parents were right the things they said to me. That everything is my fault. that nobody will ever love me, or want me! I sit in this place and wonder why I AM THE ONE WHO HAS TO KEEP TRYING. that i have to get better so I can have a better life... Well I am sick of trying... All I do is try! Then I feel like I am getting better and doing what I have to do the get out of this place, and then i fall 10 steps back... I never asked for this life I never asked for any of this! All the times I was getting hurt and crying for my mom to make the pain stop and she didnt do anything to protect me... Now I sit here and Id rather be Back with her, cause I'd still be home... Doing what I wanted... Even tho I was hurt daily, Id do it all over again just to have a place to call home... This isent my home, this will prolly be my life until the day I turn 18 years old.... So Im sorry if Im not jumping for Joy cause Christmas is going to be here soon. I dont care about CHIRTMAS. I dont care about anything anymore... I really truly dont... So why try so hard, fighting for something I never will have? I am so tired out and my body is so drained and There comes a time when U just say It aint worth it anymore.. I aint worth it anymore
@Paytonfaye2003, unfortunately I haven't seen your posts in the Holiday forum and I didn't receive any notification about it - could you tag me there once again? Or post here a link to it? I'd love to read it, lovely.
I know that you feel exhausted and hopeless - and you have every right to feel that way, wonderful. You've been extremely brave and strong, but no one has inhuman power. You deserve a rest, you deserve a kind arm on which you could lean on. But death isn't an answer to that. And you know why? Because it will be too late. Let me explain that.
You want to be dead now, in order to stop the waves of this overwhelming pain. But if you die, you won't enjoy this state of relief, because your body will cease to feel any sensations at all. You won't experience the peace. No calm, no quietness, no serene mornings and nights. As Emil Cioran said: It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.
So that's not the right action to take for you, if you want to feel better, lovely. It is not the answer you seek if you are looking for a love and kindness and love and family. I can only suspect that your friend was fighting with similar demons like you do currently and in that time you can only think of your own pain. The pain of living is so big that it overshadows the pain of losing people. But she thought of you. She tried her best to be the good friend for you. And you too have someone right now who thinks of you only the best things, who supports you through the passing months, and maybe you don't how much they will suffer if you hurt yourself.
You are not a bad person, lovely. You've been through a lot of abuse, where you shouldn't experienced any of that, you have parents who didn't care for you - it's absolutely not your fault, lovely. You are the victim here. You didn't ruin anyone's life. Even if you were told repeatedly by people that you are damaged or stupid or worthless - that's not the state of reality! You deserve to be loved and to love, you deserve to have a happy life, to be healthy and have your own family. Don't trust the words of people who mistreated you, lovely. Trust people who care for you - and I and many other in this community care for you deeply, lovely.
*hugs*
I know that you are trying really hard to cope with this year's heartaches and I'm extremely proud of you, lovely. You may not feeling like that at all, but for me you are more than good enough. You don't deserve this suffering. You deserve a better life. And it is possible to forge one, my wonderful and brave friend, but you need to persevere. You can't give up. Survive this day, this week, this year - that's all I ask of you. Just survive. You feel terrible now, but trust me, dear - trust the kindness of the stranger on the Internet who saw the darkness and wanted to die repeatedly - your life will change. It will be better, even if I can't guarantee if that will be soon at all. But it is worth the wait, because you absolutely deserve "the better" after so much struggle, you really do!
No one expects you to enjoy this holiday, lovely. You have every right to be sad and cry and do not care about all of the hype. You have other things on your mind and in your troubled heart. You have every permission to feel what you feel, my dearest. Just don't trust this feelings - they are only feelings, only thoughts, they are changing and passing all the time. The Christmas which you hate and the Christmas other people enjoy are still the same holidays. Emotions don't define the reality. That's why you should not believe that your situation will never change. It will, just right now it only feels like it won't. Again, you are worth the better, lovely. You are worth fighting for. And you are not alone, lovely. You have all of my strength and support and hope. I'm here for you.
*millions of warm, loving hugs*
Sending all of my kind, tight hugs to my wonderful, brave friend, @Paytonfaye2003!
I'm really proud of you, lovely. You're doing your best to survive this sadness and that's more than enough. I'm here for you, for this heartache and for any other. You can do it, you can get through it. Don't give in - talk with someone and write to me. I believe in you, my lovely ❤︎
*hugs tightly*
Sending all of my support to you, darling - happy holidays!
Best wishes in this new year, my wonderful friend!
How are you feeling, lovely @Paytonfaye2003? I miss our chat and hope we can continue that.
Sending many, many, many hugs!
@Celaeno
hey, how are u doing? Ive been going to school and going to groups... i miss talking to you as well... you seem busy too! How did you spend ur new yr? I have so many goals this year and i am going to do what i have to ahcive them... big hugs
@Paytonfaye2003, lovely, that's wonderful! I'm so glad to hear that you're keeping yourself active and occupied! I have no doubts that you will achieve anything you want this year - you're smart and capable and absolutely good enough. I'm sending lots of positive evergy to you ^^;
Yes, I'm a bit busy - right now I'm occupied with some family matters, so I'm doing my best to take good care of my mental health. Yesterday I saw Moana in the cinema as a treat and it was a lot of fun ^^
Hope you have a peaceful weekend to relax from school and everything. Sending hugs!
@Celaeno
i miss you...
@Paytonfaye2003, hey, lovely, what's up? I miss you too. How are you doing?
Hope you have a nice week ahead of you! Sending lots of hugs!
*hugs*
@Celaeno
your never on anymore! I miss you too
@Paytonfaye2003, lovely, I am on 7 Cups every day, but we are living in the different time zones, so it is easy to miss each other. But the wonderful thing of the forums is that whenever you write to me, I can answer you as soon as I am able to.
I'm still here for you, lovely, as always.
*hugs*
How is your week so far? Wishing you all the best!
@Celaeno
how are u? I always forget about the different time zones, sorry... But i do miss talking to you... your a good person and im greatful to have you! Hugs
@Paytonfaye2003, hey! You've left a message for me and now I can't find it... Is there something particular you want to talk with me?
Time zone difference sucks, but I'm still here. How are you today, friend?
Sending lots of love!
@Celaeno
Its fine :( hugs
@Paytonfaye2003, you say it's fine, but it doesn't seem like it, lovely, because of the sad emoticon...
If you feel comfortable with it, I'm glad to listen to you, lovely.
*hugs tightly*
@Celaeno
I really am having a hard time, it sucks... i am depressed all the time and not sure if im coming or going... Is this really the life im meant to have?? if so i really dont want it... its not fair and im so over it... Im going crazy... And im cranky... i just wanna be free, and finally be at peace!
theres going to come a to a point when im done... theres only so much someone can take... I snuck out the other day and i ended up having sex... not by choice, just went along with it... it hurt so bad, and i feel like crap... Hes 25 years old and i feel worse! But its life right!
@Paytonfaye2003, lovely, no, that's not life, abuse or depression isn't something you should just get along with. Life isn't supposed to make you feel like a dreadful, worthless person, it shouldn't make you feel suicidal or hopeless. Life is full of painful moments, yes, but also of happiness, and gratitude, and meetings, and simple joy of taking deep breaths with your young lungs. You shouldn't settle for less, don't undermine your value as a precious human being, someone whom I call my friend on 7 Cups.
Lovely, I'm so, so sorry to hear that you were sexually assaulted. Please know that it wasn't your fault. You absolutely didn't deserve to be raped, no matter of what this man told you. You did what you had to survive this attack. What happened to you is a crime - and you should report it. It is not something you should let go by. It is wrong and you deserve support and assistance. Reporting doesn't mean that you have to go to a court or anything, lovely - it just means that you will have an official report about it.
Have you talked about it with some adult from your surrounding? Like a school counselor, a teacher? Do you want to brainstorm with me or with someone from 7 Cups what to do now? Also, because I think you are in the USA, though I might be wrong about it, here is a helpline, so you can get needed information via message or phone call.
I'm so proud of you that you are willing to talk to me about it and I feel privileged. You are not immoral or worthless, lovely. You are brave. Know that I'm here for you and that I'm willing to support you as best as I can. You're not alone. We can face it together.
*hugs if you feel comfortable*
Please let me know if you are safe right now. I'm worrying about it, lovely.
@Celaeno
I only told one other person about what has happened here on 7 Cups. Between being molested all throughout my childhood to being raped I should be used to it, that sucks big time. I'm hurting and I'm just I'm totally over it. I don't know why life has to be like this. I don't know why people would want to hurt me. I have been through so much I just don't know how much more I can take and honestly, I just don't care anymore!
Its totally my fault, and if i didnt sneak out then it never would of happened!
@Paytonfaye2003, lovely, the fact that you went out doesn't justify the assault. It wasn't your fault. You are the victim here. You didn't cause it, you didn't provoke it. You were in a vulnerable position which this man use to his advantage. It's not your fault, believe my words. And no one should get used to be a victim to such crimes, lovely. I'd really wish to be able to shield you from all of the harms of this world, because you absolutely didn't deserve it. Some people are sometimes despicable and I have big problems to empathize with such actions, because for me there is no justification. You were violated. You get hurt. It shouldn't happened, to you, to anybody.
You have every right to feel so low... You have every right to feel this pain and overwhelmed saddness. There is nothing quick and easy about recovering from this experience, but know that I'm here for you, lovely. Know that you've met some really terrible people, but that there are also lots of good. Continue to live, because you deserve so much better. You deserve safety and your own home. You deserve happiness, and not constant tears. Do not give up to your depression and live, lovely. For me, for yourself.
Is there someone from your surroundings - in school, in the place you're staying - with whom you could talk about it?
@Celaeno
i dont wanna talk to anybody about it
i just wish,NEVERMIND
I just wanna die!!!!!!
@Paytonfaye2003, it's an awful feeling, and it's okay if you don't want to talk about it with anyone. I just suggested it, because I believe it would bring you closer to feeling less hopeless. I'm sorry if you feel worse after writing to me.
Even if I can't fully imagine your situation, know that I am fully aware how the despair feels. I've been suicidal too. I'm always here for you, lovely. I'm not going anywhere.
*hugs if you feel comfortable*
@Celaeno
I dont feel worse writing you... I just feel like shit... WHY ME??????????
@Paytonfaye2003, I don't know, lovely... Maybe there is no reason at all, because you definitely don't deserve this pain. Please continue to fight for the better future, for the future you fully deserve. Don't give in to the despair and continue fighting and living.
You are worth the struggle. You really are.
*hugs*
Thank you so much for the link! I've just started watching it.
@Celaeno
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1fGmEa6WnY&t=34s
@Paytonfaye2003, I've just watched - also with the part 1 - and I'm crying... It was incredibly moving experience. I am grateful for you that you let me know about it. I've never heard about this movie before. Thank you, lovely. Thank you.
I know I will never be able to fully comprehend your situation, lovely, but know that you are not alone. I will be always here to listen to you, I will support you, not judge you, and be your friend and ally. You are never truly alone, in this world. You have my love and kindness, Payton.
*hugs*
@Celaeno
Hi, How are you? I miss you as usual. Just sitting here wondering how your doing? I am really struggling with school and stuff... I suck at math so bad. I think i an getting my eating disorder back... Havent really been eating, but I try to eat atleast something at every meal, but for the most part I only take a couple bites.... anyways, i am thinking about you... '''hugs
Hey, lovely @Paytonfaye2003!
*hugs*
I'm having a busy month, so I'm sorry if we're missing each other. I'm okay - a bit stressed with personal matters, so I'm trying to do lots of self-care time and also sleep and eat well, so my depression won't return. Relaxation is making a big difference for me, just like talking with people. Thank you for asking and checking up on me, lovely - you're sweet.
I'm not a genius at math eaither, but this is a skill like others. When you practice lots and lots, you're getting much better at it. Is there a classmate who can help you with it? Or a teacher?
Sorry to hear about your eating, lovely. For me it is much understandable that you're struggling again because of all the stress involved with school and recent assault. It's okay not to feel okay, dear. It's really hard right now, but you can get through it. Have you talked with an adult about last week?
I'm thinking about you, too, lovely. Every day in fact. Hope you can feel my positive thoughts with you!
*hugs*
@Celaeno
i havent talked to anybody... but i miss talking with you... i dont wanna talk to anybody, im just wanna get over it...
@Paytonfaye2003, I understand that, lovely. And I'm super glad that you want to talk to me ^^
*hugs*
But at the same time I firmly believe that by not talking about it and ignoring it, you're giving it power to control your moods. Because you're afraid of confronting it, you're giving it a meaning that it is something you should be afraid of. Only by facing the things which hurt us, we can be free of them, we can say that it was awful, but we managed to get through and get stronger. You can't get over something you don't want to confront.
It doesn't mean that you can't have privacy. Or that you should talk with everyone about trauma. I don't want you to pressure to talk about it with anyone, lovely, because it can be scary, reliving it in your head again. I really don't want you to feel uncomfortable or advise you to do something which you know isn't in your best interests. I care for you and I only want you to feel safe and healthy again - that's why I'm encouraging you to reach out to someone who can help you in person.
I'm here no matter what you'll do. All my love, as always *hugs*
@Celaeno
Im okay
