3 Steps to Avoid Bad Decisions and Relationship Problems

1) Balance the negative and positive. Most blind spots come from trying to maintain an unrealistically positive picture of our world or, more accurately, avoiding feelings of negativity and loss. This is unsurprising, given that folks are generally loss averse and scramble to avoid it. Unfortunately, that leaves them open to being influenced by scarcity and romantic partners playing hard to get. So, the first step toward accurate self-assessment is creating a more balanced outlook by being open to positive and negative information. Specifically, what are your strengths and weaknesses, and what opportunities and threats are you facing?

2) Include the inconsistent. The second place people tend to get stuck in is their need for self-verification, leading to a bias for the status quo. That leaves them open to being influenced by consistency techniques and sunk costs in relationships. Nevertheless, just because something has been going along a certain way for a long time does not necessarily mean it is a good thing to continue. So, in addition to considering both positive and negative information, it is important to reflect on both old and new information as well. Specifically, what have you believed or done in the past, how has that worked out (good and bad), and what might you believe or do differently in the future?

3) Take your time. Finally, people tend to rush and make quick evaluations. Instead, for good decision-making, take some time, gather the facts, and stay open to possibilities. Combined with the above steps, that will keep you away from basic biases and blind spots. It will also help you focus on specifics and truth rather than being easily persuaded by superficial things. Facing the full reality of a situation may be uncomfortable at first. The clear picture will help you make better decisions and create more satisfying relationships in the long run.

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