How do I deal with my S/Os addictive personality?
Hello!
This is my first post on here so please tell me if I am doing anything wrong.
I have been dating this guy for 3 years. We moved in together after a few weeks of dating because I couldn't stand going home to my toxic mother. He at the time was addicted to videogames. 15 hours a day, and when he wasn't on it he would be on the community site on his phone constantly. He would not do anything else. I would spend many nights trying to get him to come to bed at 3 am but he would refuse. He'd stay up until 6 am playing videogames. And sleep all day because of it.
It took 2 years of constant nagging but he got off but it got replaced by his phone. Hes on reddit, instagram, checking the news, etc constantly. It's important to mention here that he has ADHD but I don't think that's all he has since he has such a hard time pulling away from things.
He also gets very possessive because of this. When he wants sex, he will manipulate it out of me. He only cares about emotions when he's having them. But he also says "date who you want if you find someone as long as I'm still here".
Lately it's been alcohol abuse. He smokes weed every day and so do I but I don't get bad reactions from it. He gets empty. I try to talk to him and he just continues doing whatever and "yes" me to death
Last night I told him how I felt and he just kept watching his show and said "yep, got it, signing up for therapy Monday, whatever". The next thing he does? Grab a bottle of vodka and starts drinking. WDID?
@SeawaterBreeze
Hello, thank you for sharing your story and reaching out on here. I cannot give advice (but hear me out) I am not qualified to give advice, but there are people who are and there are a lot of resources for what you are going through. And I am so sorry that you are going through this right now.
But I am most concerned about you. It is very concerning that you say he "manipulates" you. And tells you to "date who you want" as long as he's still there. Think about what you would say to a friend if she/he came up to you and told you all these things that their SO was doing in their relationships, what would you say to them?
Relationships are mutually rewarding with lots of communication and willingness between two people (Hey! relationships are hard and we all make mistakes!) but partners have to be willing to make things work. And it is so hard to see somebody we love go through something as hard as addiction (Ive experienced it too).
Here is a resource that would be helpful to you, it talks about relationships when one partner is struggling with an addiction-
https://dualdiagnosis.org/drug-addiction/relationships-and-addiction/
Please reach out if you want to chat! Thank you for sharing! You are not alone!