My boyfriend of years is an addict
So you took 2 last night and two this morning ..because you thought you wouldn't go to jail.. I guess this is it..this is going to be my life..why fight it ..I feel nothing less of broken a meaningless blip . When I die my life will mean nothing and there will be no one who loved or cared about me to even bring even a memory alive again.i have loved you more then I thought I could love..but it didn't change anything..then this dark cloud of broken promises and thrown away love started to gather all around me..the cycle continued until there was nothing to look forward to but more. I'm tired. I'm wore out.i feel to empty to have the ability to try anymore.there was only one thing I ever could look forward to when I was a kid. And that was breaking the cycle and finding love...I didn't know what love was and I was stupid to look forward to it..it's just broken pieces and built up memory's. I love you more then I love myself and that was our down fall..
I understand how you feel and I've been feeling the same way. I have alot of guilt in my heart over the choices I've made in life. But know that this self realization is the start of a new birth. It's when we realize that something in our life isn't working right or isn't bringing us the joy and love that we deserve...is what helps us get out of the situation. It's hard for me sometimes because Im impatient and want to see instantaneous results in life and have to realize that it takes time. Your going to be ok and this is going to get better.
