TW:Meth Addiction

TW: Meth Addiction

Anyone else have success getting and staying off meth for a good amount of time? 

I have only been able to get up to 88 days clean and sober in a little over a year since I began using this drug again. My mental health is always so bad and has been for over a decade. Even when I am clean and sober, I'm super manic and make horrible impulsive decisions. I was clean and sober over 2 years a couple years ago. Relapsed on alcohol, and then eventually started doing meth even though alcohol was my initial drug of choice.

I have a sponsor with NA and lots of people who love me in NA and AA. I also have a team or behavioral health professionals supporting me and have been in therapy for other 15 years. I'm also medicated with my psych meds. 

I just can't seem to get clean this time though. Very short lived periods. It's so frustrating. This isn't me, or how I wanted my life to he like. Years lost to mental illness and addiction. I feel hopeless. Why won't I get better? 

Any hope to be given is welcome or if you have similar experiences please share so I can feel less alone in this. Thank you ❤️❤️‍🩹🙏🏻