it’s a need

im underage. and at first, I was just being a teen having fun with her friends. but after a incident of me having way too much alcohol(long story), I haven’t been able to have it in like two months. and it’s literally killing me inside. it’s so bad that its now a need or I cant go out anywhere in public because when I have alcohol my social anxiety isn’t bad and I don’t fidget, etc., you know. I just need it. I really want to get drunk or high right now. I’m not really addicted to nic or any drugs as much as I am to alcohol though. but I really need alcohol. I never thought it would get this bad.