Addicted to everything
Hi, im hopelessly addicted to literally everythig i tried in my life, ive been throught depressants, stimulants, hallucinogens, at least 20 different substances. Is this normal?
Most people ive met got like a type, they like stimulants or depressants, rehab didnt help, mental hospital didnt help, jail didnt help.
Im 29 yo and at this point i think its really crazy that my whole existence revolves around drugs, i literally sont have a life anymore and i dont want friends or family anymore, i just spend my time on drugs or getting them.
Its been a long and interesting story but i think its the end of the line for me. Everyone around me is dying, or getting seriously hurt.
My girlfriend killed herself 6 months ago, my friend lost a leg 3 months ago. My family is afraid of me and with good reason, ive became evil and cruel, especially towards myself.
Somehow im still not brain damaged or at least not noticably, somehow my body is doing ok but tbh not as good as it used to be.
But at least im still trying and ive been sober for like 2 weeks now. And before that i was sober for like a month too so thats good progress.
Sometimes i wish someone had complete control over me, and would stop me from doing drugs and alcohol. That would literally save my life.
@krazyeyes
It's great that you are two weeks sober.
A stepping stone.
I'm sorry so many things didn't work for you.
I'm sorry you are so down on yourself.
I get the hardship it can create for one and their families.
It's so straining and complicated.
People think, surely , if you loved us, you would just stop!
But the drug has a strong hold.
But it can change.
You can do it!
It's hard.
And it's easy to use, to mask out the pain.
But it's still there.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine how hard it must have been to lose your girlfriend.
My heart goes out to you.
I'm sorry your friend lose his leg.
I don't think you are evil, drugs make people do cruel and desperate things.
I hope you find a way through that works for you.
You do deserve to heal 💚
Thanks for your reply Amanda, youre very kind.
I need to get back on track, its been harder and harder to get sober with every next year.
At this point sobriety feels abnormal for me, ive been high for so long that i feel weird when im sober. But im going to do it, ill pull off at least 3 months and ill exercise to make myself tired, that usually works
@krazyeyes
A pleasure 💚
