Addiction a
I’ve been using meth since I was 14, I’ve tried to quit many time but only lasted a couple months. I’m 21 now still using sadly but I’ve been running in circles calling so many numbers to try to find an in patient rehab that accepts my insurance. Finally I found one but have to wait tell tomorrow to call because I got ahold of them right at they were closing and going home. I’ve been feeling like I’m going crazy recently and am at my lowest I’ve ever been my mind is on this continuous look of negative irrational intrusive thoughts. I have a son who’s one year old… I want to do better for him. I want to be a better mom I want to be present I want more patience I just want to be healthy so I can do good by him. Sadly I relapsed a few time while pregnant… and it kills me every day I feel so much regret and guilt and shame and beat myself up over it so much. But I’m getting help. And I’m excited, terrified but excited.
@Melzabelza
you can do this! You deserve a better life to be free and happy.
@Melzabelza
I think that it is amazing that you are so committed to reaching out for help! As addicts, it's really hard for us to realize that we have a problem and reach out for help. Our DOC keeps calling to us and it's very hard to ignore it. Especially when we have been using for so long.
We all make mistakes. We are humans after all. And just because we are addicts, doesn't mean we are less than or more horrible than others when we make mistakes. I completely understand the beating yourself up over past mistakes. It sucks big time to be stuck in that negative thinking loop. But guess what? You are being a good mom right now by realizing that you need help and realizing that to be able to provide for your son, you have to get yourself right first. 💕
I am so proud of you for reaching out to an inpatient rehab! The first 30 days are super super important, and the rehab will be able to guide you and teach you coping skills. I am an addict as well, almost 3 years sober, and I work at a Rehab currently 💕
You have got this!! Being terrified is normal. It's scary to consider sobriety because it means a complete lifestyle change. You have been living and doing things a certain way for sooo long, that it's scary to contemplate what life will be like as a sober individual. But you've got this!! 💪 I'm excited for you as well!
Keep your head up!
Much love,
Kayla 💕✨