Invisible illness
Why can't i do what i need to do things which are essential for my future??? I exactly know my goals, i exactly know what i must to do, but i just can't...... I want it so much but when it comes to take action for my goals i become like 'meh'. Just don't doing anything and watching my phone. The only daily things i do are watching social media, playing game, eating unhealthy, sleeping and waking up late. Like, you know, all these bad habits have became my lifestyle. I 100% know that all those things i do are bad habits and will ruin my future. "Like i sacrifice my future for my present". It seems as if i got entirely chained by someone or something or some unknown unvisible creature or energy idk what to name it. Like there's also someone in my body that invaded me, MY MIND..... Controls me, my life, my end..... Man, it's so horrible...... In 2019 on winter times (idk exact date) it was first time that i recognized myself, i was just 14 years old. I put my first goals. They(goals) were studying hard for getting good grades to proud myself and my parents, doing exercises for weight gaining and socializing. But from 2019 till this time, around 5 years nothing has changed. I've never achieved one of those goals. Any of them was left on my just 'to-do list paper'. I've tried several times in those 5 years to reach my goals but when i tried, it took mostly 2 or 3 days. After 2 or 3 days i became that 'lazy' person again. Then months passed and i started again to do something for my goals. But then same things happened again. Like im in horrible CYCLE. And this CYCLE isn't ending till this time. 2025 is already coming up and i still didn't reach any of my goals since i made them from 2019. Put "reaching goals" aside, i literally couldn't even get rid of my this INVISIBLE ILLNESS. At the night time or when im in the university i always think i'll do my things when i wake up or when i return home. Yeah tomorrow finally came, i finally returned home, but the only unchanged thing was my laziness......... I tried several ways to start reaching my goals, in every time, in every beginning i tried another way to be consistent on my path but..... none of them was successful. Im not depressed, i talk to people like there's nothing happened and i mostly laughing but always thinking those things in my head. There are still more things which i want to say but it could turn into a long story. JUST NEED A HELP HOW CAN I GET RID OF THIS INVISIBLE SICKNESS?? DON'T RECOMMEND ME THERAPIST, PSYCHOLOGIST OR ANYTHING WHICH IT ENDS WITH 'IST'. I NEED SOMEONE EXPERIENCED WHO HAVE FACED WITH THESE PROBLEMS AND OVERCAME IT. Thank you so much if you took attention and read all these. And also sorry for hurting your eyes but i seriously need help.
@Ziya19
Procrastination and giving up when goals seem out of reach is a common theme.... so many things in life it takes consistency and getting up and doing stuff when you simply do not want to....
You are, believe it or not ahead in one thing.... you realize the time that has slipped away.... so many procrastinate and kick things to do down the road are not keenly aware of the time lost. I will tell you as you get older people fret over time wasted as most do not see they spent time lost in phones/ games/ TV as life passes us by. There is not a pill or one size fits all cure.... it is up to the individual to step up and try every day and every chance they get.
Everyone has avoided something in their life and when they deal with it ... i have found it was not as hard as i had imagined. When i find myself not doing things i take accountability to know OK i did not get up early and work out so now i need to do some at lunch time or after work not "oh well maybe tomorrow...."