Overcome addicted behaviours

Hey you all, here is my previous post: https://www.7cups.com/forum/addiction/General_2437/Willingtohelp_361583/

But I just realized it would be helpful if I made a public post for all of you to read. So here are some of my thoughts on how to address addiction. They're just based on my lived experiences, so they might have some limitations:

1. Think about your main problems in life. Addiction, especially behavioural problems, stems from the fact that we cannot deal with some of the problems of life and we need other addictive things to cope with. For example, you struggle with family issues and have to deal with it alone, or you have intense anxiety about your work or academic performance that you need to do something to ease your mind. So instead of directly solving the problem, you don't know how to cope with it and then turn to your addicted behaviours.

   So it's very important for us to understand ourselves. And you're doing a very great job at this. You understand your addicted patterns and really want to find a way out. This is a good sign. The next step is that you need to understand yourself more. I recommend you to journal regularly, because in this way you can explore your thought patterns, realize what is good or bad, and definitely can explore more wonderful aspects of yourself. For example, if you write and realize that you are such a deep thinker and have many great insights on an interesting topic, you tend to put more time and attention into it, forget about other things, and start to realize that you too can become a better person. The more actions you take, the more they support your beliefs. When you start to believe in something, and take action for it, it will accumulate every day and lead to the life you want. 1% every day is better than no action. But if your action is not aligned with your desired identity, it will likely lead you to disappointment and old patterns. Be careful with what you input into your mind and every small action you take!

2. The brain has this incredible ability to learn new stuff and change itself! And you have to believe in this. This is what is called neuroplasticity. It means your brain can change through time, with effort and new input. If you want to change some aspects of your life, put your mind into it, research about the topic, and then design a system to break the unwanted behaviour. The brain is incredible yet also sensitive to anything you put into it. Small stuff like the videos you watch every day, every line you read, every image you see... all add up to your belief system and therefore affect your action. You have to design a life you want by inputting lots of stuff that you are passionate about. For me, the topic is about English, language, and artificial intelligence ^^

3. The environment really matters. Research indicates that if you only have a phone on your desk but not using it, it still has the ability to affect your attention. So try to stop any cue that can trigger your addicted behaviours and replace with something else. For example, you see a kind of dark video on social media and your brain immediately think about watching dark stuffs, then you need to eliminate those kinds of triggers. The more you stay away from the sources, the better it is to get over it.

4. Accept yourself. Sometimes trying to cope is just too hard. And you have to understand that our brains are wired for dopamine, for the happiness and satisfying feelings. It's in our nature, so resisting it seems like a hard thing to do. But here comes the technique called "mindfulness". You can research more about it. Basically just watch your thoughts come and go all the time, nothing stable and nothing permanent. For example, in this period of time you really want that job, want that person, want that achievement, but after that you just feel like that does not feel so meaningful to you anymore. Our desires change over time, and our thoughts too, nothing is permanent. This is also called "the impermanence of life". So when you have that kind of thoughts about using drugs, watching stuff, you can observe: Oh, I'm having this desire. And then you let it go. You have to be patient with it, observe it for a while and then let it go, naturally, without forcing yourself!

   So I'll definitely think about other things to share with you too. But these are my very first thoughts. Hope they can help you somehow. You are too incredible and have the ability to become better! I truly believe it. Have a nice day!