The outcome
I never want to justify addiction but since I’ve started smoking weed which wasn’t long I’ve realized how much I’ve been wronged and I’ve finally remembered a lot of trauma which is honestly why I’ve become addicted. I’ve honestly felt paralyzed by my memories but it has helped me put words to my feelings and my actions and that I’m more than my past and I can make my own path but I’m losing my mind knowing this is something I have to do myself like getting pass my addiction to weed and what’s my future like from here. I think it’s been 3 years of trying to figure my stuff out (probably could say my whole life) and now I’m trying to take a leap and getting into a short medical course. I know this is where I’m going have to take this easy and slowly quit. I need to feel normal again.
@enthusiasticRaspberries2327 Hello Raspberries, thank you for reaching out here. What I can say is that you're right in what you've identified about addictions and trauma - they are indeed our coping mechanisms for that which we're not able to process. However it sounds as though you've reached a critical juncture in wanting to move beyond both addiction and traumatic memories, and it's fantastic that you've found a goal to aim for, with the medical course. You've talked about wanting to feel normal again: what does that look like for you? You've also mentioned the difficulties in having to undertake this solo: is there anyone you could marshal as a support in reaching your goals at this time? My commendations on getting to this point and please know the community is here for you.