Weed - can't live with her, can't live without her
I want to let it go. Its like a toxic on off relationship. Everytime im on it I want to get off it, and everytime im off it, I want back on.
It feels like it will solve my night, solve my boredom. Solve my uninspired mind.
I never touched a hard drug but im like a crackhead with weed.
I want to let it go but I can't do it alone and I don't know what to do.
If there was an Olympic medal for how many times I've gone off weed and got back on I'd get the gold.
Im not even concerned about tonight. Im concerned that tonight will repeat itself so many times I make up some excuse to why its good for me, just a hit.
But everytime I dip my toe in the honey pool I ALWAYS end up swan diving into it after a week or month.
Once every two weeks turns into every week turns into every day turns into all day pretty quickly.
Anybody have any advice?
@powerfulAvocado5957
I get what you mean.
The good parts are exciting.
Make you feel alive.
Less lonely.
It takes away the boredom at night.
It excites you.
But it still doesn't fulfill you.
But you think , will I get it again?
It's difficult but it's best to let something toxic go because it only leaves you worse in the end 💛
Its simply something I dont don't do. In a way I never did. Thank you kind soul.
@powerfulAvocado5957
Hello, Powerful Avocado,
First, please give yourself credit for recognizing your unhealthy relationship and wanting change.
You describe what weed does for you....I would ask: what can you replace it with that is a healthy option? Look around....do you play an instrument? Are you a cook? Are you interested in something athletic? If yes, sign up for an event....5K and begin to train if you can.
Secondly, it is never easy to do this alone and please know there are options to support you. If you are not familiar with the organization Smart Recovery...please check them out. They are a no cost international organization dedicated to helping individuals like your self sustain change. There are in-person meetings as well as zoom options. Many of the meeting facilitators have walked the walk and speak from shared experience. I recommend trying a few different venues if the first group does not feel like a fit. Smart Recovery is not associated with a religious organization.
Another option is All Recovery. I am less familiar with this group, but they, too, are a non-stigmatizing organization dedicated to supporting individuals, and I have heard good things about this organization.
Next, pick a quit date and begin to taper down. Per my note above, what can you do in place of using that is a healthy option( we do not want to substitute weed for another unhealthy option, obviously) ? Have a plan after exploring what can work for you.
If your weed use is a shared experience with someone else, it is important to communicate your intent to quit using to that person. Anyone who cares for you will support you in your goal.
If you feel comfortable, please let us know how you are as you take this important step toward a weed-free life. I know you can do it.