@fossilfellow Addiction Streak 🤍 *T.W*

Relapsed 🙁

*Vent* ( Trigger Warning )

I want to be honest about where I stand now 😔 I relapsed terribly today. The urges were really intense, even tho I have putted so many restrictions, and blockers. still, there are loopholes everywhere it feels.

Idk how long this will keep on going, and I keep spiralling... Feel dissapointed, I can't even manage a week without relapsing. I keep slipping, my willpower alone is definitely not enough to stop this addiction 🙁

I feel like I can't handle the boredom that comes without phone — it feels impossible. like my brain is litterely wired to those dopamine spikes.

I feel like I'm being annoying... and too tired to even hate myself rn. My brain keeps telling me that I'm not strong. And not capable of breaking this 😔

I truly hate this part of myself and my life. Idk when this will end. OR if it will ever end or not.

I don't want to grow old, being addicted to ***. I don't want to be this way, still... Idk what happens to my messed up brain when the urges spikes, I know that I try, I keep trying but most of the time, it's simply not enough. I'm not enough.

I hate to admit this, but I still feel scared of reaching out, it feels like if I reach out to someone "new" or anyone, they won't get it.

I feel trapped inside an invisible bubble, which feels too safe yet suffocating to leave.

I'm no human with extraordinary strength or power to break this addiction that seems to be so deeply rooted to my brain.

I will keep trying through, I will never give up on myself.