let down again
so husband is an alcoholic and has been good for the most part ....... i told him IF the urge became TOO much to drink at HOME not out as he has had past trouble driving .... he is on a bunch of meds now as he has had health issues and is on a very restrictive diet...
I saw his weight creep up should NOT be happening told him to talk to doctor etc asked him to join me in exercise offered to pay for a gym etc .... always had an excuse to NOT do it .........
he does less and less around house or with me and yesterday after an app update i saw it could see past receipts and low and behold each time he was "helping" by running to store he bought cheap wine and crap food he must have all consumed in his car............ numerous times it seems ....
why? cant he just be honest .......
why is his self destruction more important to him then me his partner of DECADES and our kids .......
I only feel PITY anymore that does not sustain a relationship.......
I sent an email to him he does not listen and told him all i found said he mysterious weight gain is clear and for a man who lectured kids on not lying he sure cannot follow his own advice.... i tend to fight dirty when mad and i said a few things that may make him feel worse but i have tried every angle and he is NOT dealing with what ever puts him back in a spot of buying and chugging the cheapest wine possible ........ that should be a sign it is not about enjoying it ........if you are NOT picky about type and finish it in your car...... what reaches a person like this?
Sorry for what you’ve encountered.. my husband has addiction as well…… let’s try to treat ourselves better while be patience and communicate with them for a better life
@ewc22 i did that for years ... time os up he expects me to say ok another chance but no second third fourth not a million chances he can hopefully drop dead not hurt anyone else in the process
Time to find a better life for you then! :)
interesting Halloween not a word spoken like a horror movie do not make noise so killer or monster can not find you.
he has avoided me and left early this morning just to not have to face me.....
I will be honest i have no addictive tendencies so i guess i do not understand those who throw away the very people who have loved and supported them for cheap buzz? makes zero sense to me
everyone has struggles and stress but only some do stupid like drink and drive and spend money on stuff that could be better used to help them elsewhere.
4 more days of utter silence ......... and stupidity
i bought a very expensive upgrade mattress for his back issues but now he has slunk away to guest room and will be in back pain too .... probably another good reason to guzzle cheap wine in a parking lot.....
i wish i could not induce a war but be able to
UNDERSTAND why self destruction is so important ... he can no longer lie to me or kids we no longer have ANY belief ........ but i do not see how he could look at others in our lives and explain to them how slow suicide is more important to him then his family or friends........
Alcoholism's primary basis is a need to escape from trying circumstances and unaddressed issues that seem hopeless in terms of finding resolve...to glaze over repressed problematic emotions and dull the overwhelming pain that accompanies processing said underlying issues. Once you experience the relief of your strife being silenced, it grips you with fear for days ahead that are just like the past turmoil from which you were initially trying to eacape. It is disturbing how quickly this substance can feel like an essential part of you. For one to successfully quit, the circumstances that they are running from need to be rectified. Have you had a clear discussion with your husband about the troubles in his life? If so, do you trust that he was being completely forthcoming about this? Perhaps there is something of a burden that he has not made apparent? It is a good idea to find ways to support him in his efforts to irradicate these factors that he feels the need to escape from, and this is done most effectively if you two are on the same page about his life. If he is secretive about his habit, there is an increased likelihood that he may be being secretive about other things. I feel for you; this affliction truly does much damage to not only the addict, but those around them. Through this expression, you have illuminated this point. I hope that things improve very soon for the both of you.
@NorthernRights65
thank you for the response .... i appreciate trying to see it from another perspective as it makes zero sense from mine No he has never dealt with anything he never does ..............was required to attend meetings by a court order but i am sure he slept through it or just tuned everything out and never spoke up.... i have tried everything i can to let him know he can speak up about anything
his situation he is upset about is his health took a sharp downturn and THIS is not going to help that at all.... no matter what he is doing the complete opposite of what he should be doing....