Anyone else in similar situation or can relate
I dont want to lose my son. He is 24 years old and has for years been dealing with paranoia, anxiety, anger, delusions. He keeps telling me he cant control/handle/deal with what goes on inside his body or mind so his only way of dealing with this is to self medicate with whatever drug he can find (marijuana, meth, cocaine, opiates, heroin, etc) which than has led to his drug addiction. I have had him to so many psychiatrist and therapist over the past 16 years but hasnt helped and his mental behaviors and drug addiction has gotten worse, to the point he cant keep a job and I cant help or handle him anymore.
@LostDad1967 If your son was having anxiety, paranoia, and delusions, he must have been doing drugs previously and now using that as an excuse to continue them. I was 24 years old before too. Smoked pot, tried Valium and Xanax, and of course partied. Now I'm 33 and have extreme paranoia about side effects of medications/mixing drugs because I was so stupid as a young adult doing drugs! I have anxiety issues also. Your son is playing you. Keep him in a rehab so they can get all the narcotics and benzodiazepines out of his body. Get it out of his system. He may suffer while detoxing, but all those drugs are killing his brain and kidneys and liver anyway!. This generation just thrives on pills it seems? I hope your son gets better, but don't let him lie to you. I used to lie to my mom to get money for the pills. I didn't have to go to rehab, I just stopped, but I know that quitting cold turkey isn't fun either. They will give him something to gradually detox. I had seizures from quitting cold turkey. Good luck!
@TransAm85 thank you, hes been in rehab 60 days now, now he keeps telling me hes better and that he is ready to come home. I keep telling him that 60 days is not enough time to fix with what all you have been dealing with. Take adavantage of the program and it will work if you cooperate. He says this place is not helping him and their lying to me. Ive addressed every concern he has had with his therapist and case manager. I told him he needs to atleast go through their work program where they help him with job interview prepping and resume writing. They assist with getting a job. To give it a trial run before you come home, because you couldnt keep a job here so give it a trial run while your in rehab, to learn responsibility and use to working in the environment, hes fighting this and telling me he can do all this at home. Im afraid to let him come home without trying it there in rehab first, because Im afraid back home he will just fall back into his comfort zone and then Ill have to kick him out. I dont know if Im doing the right thing by making him stay. Is it helping him or is he just making things up? Im so torn right now.
@LostDad1967 He should be so grateful to have a father that cares! My parents divorced when I was only 5, so I grew up w/a single mother who really wasn't much of a mother. She supported my brothers and I financially, but that's about it. That's one reason I rebelled and turned to partying, drugs, and moving around. Tell him he is so lucky to have a family that truly loves him. In turn, he should take care of himself and do better. Most addicts stay with the drugs or alcohol b/c they have no motivation. Example, my older brother is 46 yrs old and still a homeless heroin addict. He has no motivation b/c our mother is just mean and critical. My motivation to stop was when I met my now husband. I think your son will realize it soon. Drugs/alcohol do nothing for us!
@TransAm85 and just when you think things were getting better, you realize they just get worse and evidently will always be worse. Thought my son had finally accepted rehab and the only way to coming home was to finish the program, which entailed 90 days of rehab (php and IOP) before moving to sobriety living where they polish up his resume, work on prepping for interviews, assist with getting employment. Which than he would pay rent, learn to slowly become independent, I looked at as a trial run. I told my son, if you can manage to finish this test it as a trial run before you come home. Than he took me off consent where I could no longer talk with his therapist (I was talking with her twice a week, getting feedback on how he was doing and in return I was telling her any concerns he was addressing to me). Things were going well he was positive and things were looking up. He told me he got a job and was starting last Thursday (Aug 1) but he needed $10 for food handler card and a bike for transportation ($100). I thought he wasnt at that point in program yet to be working but thought maybe things changed. I tried to get ahold of his therapist (I emailed her stating that looks like my son was at the employment phase among other questions/concerns I had) but know longer being on consent I never got a reply. Well than he tells me on Friday, that they wouldnt let him go to work and that he bought a ticket to come home. Found out he came home Sunday to his Mom
@LostDad1967. I wasnt aware of this until he texted my Fiancé and told her hey Im in Indiana (were in KY, his rehab was in Los Angeles), Im sorry for everything Ive done but Im better and ready and get on my feet and ready to get job, etc). My Fiancé was livid to say the least as she was blind sided because just less than a week ago , she talked to him and was proud of him, he sounded mature, she thought he was working, she just sent him $100 for bike for transportation to work, and than boom he comes home and was hoping to come back and stay with us until he got employment and he could save for vehicle and move out on his own. Needless to say she told him, at this point coming back to stay with us was not an option. If he couldnt stay 3 more months or handle 3 more months going through the program than he cant handle the real world without first trying it on his own. She believes he manipulated us for the bike money to assist with paying his way home?? He has been told several times that the employment phase wasnt until after 90 days (he just started his 60th day) and that was if the facility felt like he was ready. I told him if he came back prior to we thought he was ready he would have to find another place to stay like a transitional living facility. I know his mom wont let him stay there long before she starts telling me I need to help him. I am so angry, bitter, hurt and disappointed right now, all he had to do was atleast stay another 90 days, now back sq 1.
