Hi. Husband is a meth addict.
I am not sure how long my husband has been abusing meth. I am know nothing about drugs. Anyway, about three years ago, my husband went off the deep end He got a couple of speeding tickets. He became toxicly negative. He started praising people like Nazis (and he isn't White). He became very paranoid. Eventually everything became my fault.
He claims I hack his phone. I stopped him from getting a job. I am spying on him. He has accused my of hacking the radio and distorting the sound. All things that I couldn't and wouldn't do.
I thought he got a mental illness until a friend of mine called an ambulance after he was wandering the streets, thinking he was having a heart attack.
It was at the hospital they told him he felt bad because of the meth in his system.
That wasn't enough to stop him. For a few months he was clean. But around Christmss, I wasn't around so he started using again.
I am so lost. He has stolen from me and my children. I have been getting so mad. And it is shifting my personality. I don't like it.
Right now, I am sitting in my locked car. Last night, he broke his phone (again) and accused me of hacking it. He took my car and didn't come back until this morning. This is our only working car because he let his moron friends destroy our other one.
I don't know what to do. I am the only one bringing in any income and he sabotaging me by stealing, taking my car and messing with our Internet connection. (I am self-employed.)
Any advice?
@Nessastreet Hello Nessa, welcome to the community. We are delighted to have you here with us. I'm so proud you have reached out for support. I can't imagine what it is like for you and your children. It's so tragic that the consequences of your husband's addiction have heavily influenced you and your well being. How are you all doing now? How have you been coping?
Feel free to reach out to the listeners if you ever need to talk with someone. If you'd like, feel free to check out these resources for insight.
Resources for Addiction
Resources for Family and Friends
Family & Caregiver Support Subcommunity
Let us know if you have any further concerns or questions. I wish you and your family well, and feel free to keep us updated on how things are. :)
@Nessastreet Hi Nessa, I read your post and I can feel how lost you must feel right now. Please don't despair. I am sure you will find a way out of this situation.
I think you are doing the best thing you can do right now: you are reaching out for help.
The realization that he has to stop using meth, must come from within your husband himself. If that does not happen, you probably won't be able to do anything about his addiction.
It might also be necessary, that you prioritize your own safety and your own life over his. You might need to leave him if he is not willing to take all necessary steps to fight his addiction and to stop using for good. Apparently, you seem to be willing to support your husband - make that clear to him, but also make clear that you can only support him if he stops taking the drug.
Meth is a very difficult drug, as it is a substance with very strong effects regarding feeling pleasure. It is also rather long-acting and it can heavily influence personality and behaviour. The changes you describe (speeding tickets, paranoia, aggression) describe the changes which can be among the negative effects when using this drug.
Getting rid of this drug is not easy and the desire to take it again takes time to slowly diminish.
A book I found really helpful in fighting meth addiction is "Quitting Crystal Meth" by Joseph Sharp. The author is a former addict himself and he describes the journey which is to be expected over the month after quitting the drug. I highly suggest you read it yourself to understand what to expect. And of course, your husband should read it - if he wants to quit.
Please stay in touch with us here, keep us updated. The whole community here is here to help, so please don't be shy!
I wish you and your husband all the best - take care of yourself first! Everything else follows.
More info on the book "Quitting Crystal Meth" (which I mentioned above) and on quitting is also available online on the complementary website: https://www.quittingcrystalmeth.com/
I just want to send my support and love over.
What you are dealing with right now is so difficult , unfortunately ice is a very strong drug , and a lot of the time its the people around the user that have to cope with what is going on and it can be very hard.
i personally don't like talking more publicly about this but if you think you need some support please feel free to send me a PM where its more private.
All i can say i have been in personal situations like this so i might be of some support
Much love Peter <3
@Nessastreet I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Meth is a heck of a drug! I had a friend whose parents were meth addicts, and they would take apart and rebuild motorcycles all day. Their living room was just disassembled bike parts and electronics everywhere. And they literally could not remember things that happened 5 minutes ago.
As a former meth user myself (many years ago), I can confirm that it can alter your personality in strange ways and cause severe paranoia in some people. It is possible that everything unusual about your husband is solely due to the meth. There really is no way of knowing if his personality has changed or if he has another mental illness as well unless he is clean for a very long time. Meth only stays in your system for a few days, but structural changes to your brain can linger for a very long time after.
Anyway, have you had a discussion with him about his drug use yet to see if he would be open to quitting or some form of rehab? It would probably be best to have this conversation at a calm time when he is sober, and try to show him how he is affecting you and the rest of the family as well as harming himself without using accusatory language. Try not to guilt him but rather help him to see how he could be so much better if he weren't using. Fortunately, meth is a drug that is safe to quit on your own. It's not like alcohol, heroin, or benzodiazepines where quitting cold turkey can seriously hurt you. He will just sleep a lot and eat a lot until he feels normal again. So it would be safe for him to quit without a rehab facility, but he would probably need a good network of support that may have to include some professional help.
This is quite a burden on yourself as well, so seeking some help of your own probably wouldn't be a bad idea. No one should have to do all the work, take care of the kids, and take care of an adult with an addiction as well. Have you talked about this with any other friends or family yet?
