I'm in love with an alcoholic
How can you try to convince someone who is an alcoholic to get help when they don't see the error in their ways. My current bf who will be 41 next month has drank excessively for over 20 years. He was my 1st love over 20 years ago and we reconnected after my separation about 2 years ago. We've been together 1 1/2 years and living together about 6 months. Since we've been together he drinks less but still A LOT. When he's sober he's good and loving and loves me and makes plans for our future. When he's drunk he's hurtful and hateful and doesn't love me or want me. He has the potential to be an amazing person I see it in him but he doesn't see his drinking as a problem. His mother ask him to stop....my mother has talked to him. Nothing ever gets through to him. I love him more than anything and quite honestly don't think I ever stopped 20 years ago but I just don't know how much longer I can do this. I know everyone he's ever been with has given up on him because of this and I don't want to be another to do that but it's killing me when he's hurtful. Please how can I make him see??
@Wonderingstargazer Hello Wondering, I am so sorry to hear what you, your boyfriend, and your families are going through. Addiction can be a challenge to grasp and accept. I hope you are taking the time for self care; it is hard to care for others when we neglect to care for ourselves.
Feel free to check out this article that includes resources here. Also, if you haven't already, feel free to check out the Relationship & Friendship Subcommunity for further resources and support here.
It may not seem like much, but just the fact that you remain by his side is a huge help. He is lucky to have you in his life. If you ever need to talk to someone, the listeners are here for you. Best wishes! :)
Hey, I’m in a similar situation. My fiancé is an addict. We’ve been together 5 years. I’ve stuck by him through thick & thin. From him going to jail for 2 years to him just struggling with his addiction on the daily. I’ve tried my best to help him and stand by him, but lately I feel like I’ve mentally clocked out. Like I still care for him, but this doesn’t even feel like a relationship anymore. More like a friendship. And I’m hurt. And he doesn’t see it. Is there a way you could message me? I’m not sure how this app works. But I feel like we could benefit from talking further.
