Need Tips for Helping Loved One through Home Opioid Detox

That honestly seems so, so rough to have to handle! You are definitely brave and courageous to have to go through this. How have you been coping?

Im just responding to my own thread because Im betting someone else will search for this later and having an answer may be helpful. I should also add that my post was edited to remove the name of the med, which stinks because the type of med matters for the sake of the story, but… policies… ok. Also, I apparently cant say the name of a sports drink- that got edited out too- so, bear with me in my supply list because I have to be vague so it doesnt get edited.

Supplies I Gathered That Were Helpful:

Water

Sports Drinks

Popsicles

Ice Cream

Chicken Noodle Soup

Crackers

Extra Blankets/ Towels

Heating Pads

Bubble Bath

A Trash Bin

Over-the-Counter (OTC) Anti-Diarrhea Medicine

OTC Pink Anti-Nausea Medicine

OTC Antihistamine/ Allergy Medicine

OTC Anti-Inflammatory Pain Medicine (NSAID)

Netflix

Basically, with the medication my loved one was given, its a replacement for the heroin, but its long-acting, doesnt produce a high, and isnt as strong. The rule with starting it is that you have to wait until the heroin is out of their system before giving it or it can cause precipitated withdrawal, which basically means that the prescribed med kicks the heroin off the opioid receptors and takes over, sending the person into a super deep withdrawal. Its jarring and hellish, from what Ive read. The doctor told us we had to wait the full 24 hours to make sure we didnt inadvertently send him into precipitated withdrawal.

That said, the medications guidelines said it can be safe to take as little as 12 hours after, but that medical professionals are supposed to use the COWS scale and that once the person scored a 13 or higher, they could have the med; anywhere 12-24 hours after the last heroin dose could be normal.

Again- we were working with a counselor and doctor- an addiction specialist, so we didnt do this entirely alone. We had support. However, we couldnt afford in-patient detox, and so home detox with the help of the doctors was the best way for us.

I will say that the first 10 hours or so were a walk in the park. We hung out, watched movies, and he snacked a little. We used the OTC stuff to curb some of the withdrawal symptoms and it was manageable. He had all the usual by that point- hot and cold flashes, sweating, nausea, diarrhea, congestion/ sneezing, yawning, hypersensitivity of the skin, and occasional shakes. I gave him massages, drew him a bath, used the heating pads, etc… all that kept him ok in the onset. He wasnt puking and he always made it to the bathroom. (My experience prior to this was watching 13 Reasons Why… hardly scientific. I can say it was nothing like that.) The symptoms came in waves, so wed just ride out the wave and hed doze off between them.

Somewhere around the 12th hour, it stopped being waves and was just a steady stream of withdrawal symptoms, and they came on hard. By about the 14th hour, he was basically convulsing continuously. It was like he was locked in a grand mal seizure. Thats the point where he said he was done. He had been set on following the doctors 24-hour rule on starting the withdrawal medicine and wasnt comfortable starting it early. He was already well past the starting point on the COWS scale, but was hesitant to start the med because he couldnt imagine making it worse, so he started talking about going to the hospital for help. I spoke to the counselor and doc at that point and let them know where we were at and asked about starting the withdrawal med early. The doctor said it was ok to start it early, but he really wanted us to wait until the 18-hour mark to be sure. He made it another hour and then we decided to start the prescription anyway- at about the 15-hour mark. Within 15-20 minutes of that, virtually all withdrawal symptoms stopped and he fell asleep comfortably for a couple hours. After that, he was mostly him already. Tired and sore, but he ate a full dinner and was doing good.

For me, as a caregiver, the process wasnt bad. I was expecting to be mopping up vomit and diarrhea, while contending with someone shouting obscenities at me the whole time. It was nothing like that at all. He did really, really well, and Im super proud of him. I know this was hard on him- he said there werent even words in the English language to describe how bad he felt- but he made it… with flying colors.

So, to those of you who have a family member about to detox, my best advice is to make sure youve got a medical team on board with you. On your end, itll be a lot like taking care of someone with a really bad flu. Ive been through far worse than this caring for sick kids.

To those of you worried about your own detox… you got this. You really do. My loved one said hed experienced far worse pain with injuries, and that the worst part was feeling like he didnt have control of his body. But, overall, hes doing great, and you will too. Stack the cards in your favor by grabbing supplies in advance, and if youve got someone around you who can behave in a compassionate manner, let them be there to support you. If not, and your doctor has given you the green light for a medically-assisted home detox, just grab everything you need ahead of time and keep it near you. I think, if my loved one knew he could detox and be done with the worst symptoms in less than a day, he would have done it much sooner. In hearing his story, he was mortified when he realized he was hooked, and he spent more than a year just trying to keep the withdrawal at bay. He probably spent $20,000 on drugs during that time- largely because he wasnt sure if he could handle coming off them. But, he did. Theres a long road ahead and he still needs to address all the underlying reasons he started in the first place, but hes working on it. You can too.

The counselor said something interesting at our last visit: The drug isnt your friend. It acts like one. It makes you feel ok. It makes you feel like youre not alone. But, it isnt your friend, and it wants you dead. And, before it kills you, its going to make sure youre penniless and alone.

Its true. I wrote this because I wanted other family members to be able to help in a supportive and constructive way, and while addiction does impact your family and friends, I recognize this is my loved ones story more than it is mine. And, if youre addicted, its your story too. My loved one lost a lot- pretty much every material item he has, financial security, his job, his friends. He damaged relationships in a fundamental way that will take a long time to repair. He hates himself right now. If youre an addict, you probably feel the same sometimes. You can make things better, though. As long as youre alive, you can always work to make things better. Align yourself with people who care and build a team who will help you get clean. Youre worthy of a better life- no matter where youve been or what youve done. You can do this.

I never used to consider myself an addict so for years and years i kept finding petscriptions of opioids to justify my way of thinking. I really didnt even know it was the same thing heroin is. Ive takin opiods in very big doses since age 19 (30+ years). The past 7 years has been very consistant as i havent missed a single day. Ive evolved to hide it well. Ive foolishly told myself im not an addict because i do have pain. Im not even sure how i can ever stop. Im currently trying very hard to listen to my logical side and find an inpateint rehab for my life long opioid addiction. The past 7 years i have continued to fool myself and all my doctors and have had an uninterupted supply. Im at a point now that i no longer am able to control it, and i barely care about life. I have just about given up and have very little will left to live. Deep down; for all these years i lied to myself that one day i would stop. Ive learned i cannot. I have so many trust issues that i cannot complete a call on my own behalf. Im so afraid that ill be abandoned and become homeless if i dont do it right. Its true and i know its true because ive attempted to get help and the therapist look for the easier patients first; plus my insurance is terrible and has many loupe-holes in its coverage. Ive been using a throwaway phone for everything as i learn if my plan can work. I want to do inpatient, then go from there directly into a sober christain living home. Im willing to leave the state i live, and leave all of my things behind. Ive found many sites that claim to help, but turn out to be only interested in profits for referals, nit my personal journey needed. Doing this alone because I am alone in this world seems impossible. Ive lost everybody, and isolate. I only leave my home to fill perscriptions, buy food, and see my doctor. If i can find a inpateint program, and have a sober living home ready to go straight to from there, I might have a chance.

If i had somebody like you to ensure my safety and be my encouraging light like you have done for him, i think i could do it. But i know i need to have this enviroment daily for the rest of my life. Or i shall simply become part of the sad statistics.

I haven't been on here for years and came back for something else, then saw alerts for this. My word. It's crazy seeing this so many years later and knowing others are still reading it.

I want to give a quick update for others who might come across it now. The origial post was in 2018 and it's 2022 now.

My loved one did great for a few months after this, but then was forced to move across the state to a new area without the same level of resources - no counseling, no groups, no doctor. He thought he would be ok and would get set up with a team when he got there. It did not work out that way and he relapsed almost immediately. Deeply. It was back to around-the-clock use again. Probably worse than it had been before.

I tried to nudge him back into care but he wasn't having it at first, so I basically told him in the most caring way possible that I couldn't be part of his life while he was using and to call me if and when he was ready to kick it again.

That lasted maybe a month or two when he called me out of the blue one day and said he needed to be done then and there. I went and picked him up and he detoxed with me at home again, but this time, there was no care team and no prescriptions to help.

I don't want to scare anyone, but the second time around was not pretty. He convulsed the whole time, had stuff coming out both ends, and was miserable. BUT, he said he wanted to do it that way so he remembered what it was like to help make sure he didn't go back on it again. While he was detoxing, I got back in touch with his prior care team and they welcomed him back with open arms. They got him on a maintainence medication (the under-tongue kind since I can't say names) and they suggested that he stay on it for the forseeable future.

I'm proud to say he's still clean years later. He's still on the medication and that has no doubt been the saving grace. He's got his life back. He returned to his professional career. He's weathering the stresses of life incredibly well and says he does not feel the need to use.

I know I said it in my original posts, but I'll say it again. If you're struggling with addiction, you CAN beat it too. And, if you love someone who is struggling with addiction, take heart. They may falter. They may slip. They may relapse. And, no, you don't need to let them take you down with them. BUT, be there for them when they're ready. And, if you are, your support will help more than you know.

I'm not gonna lie. I still have some PTSD from all this. When he gets weird, I still ask probing questions to see how he's "really" doing. i.e. "When was the last time you talked to your counselor?" or "How is the stress you're dealing with impacting you?" or "Do you feel you have the resources you need to cope with this?"

He knows what I'm asking and I'm sure it bugs him, but I also constantly remind him how proud I am of him when an anniversary comes up or when I see an article about relapses. There are times he tears up and says I'm the only one who recognizes it's an accomplishment to stay sober. That's not me patting myself on the back - that's a reminder to people who love an addict - they need to know you recognize the work they're putting in every day. At the end of the day, they put in the work. They have to make the conscious decision to stay sober. Celebrate that.