Addicted to Porn
I'm a Teen and I've been addicted to porn for 5 years and I don't know how to stop this addiction
one day at a time, don't let a relapse stop you. Simply start over, I once read that porn addiction is worse than heroin, seemed a bit dramatic but the jist of the theory was you can "unsee" what you observed and will carry those images forever, forever effecting what is considered a "normal" life... interesting train of thought, good luck, have a great day.
@understandingPomegranate4396 Hi there! You might wanna subscribe to this forum :) https://www.7cups.com/forum/AddictionSupportCommunity_131/WelcomeIntroduceYourselftotheCommunity_719/NewtotheAddictionSupportCommunityinOctober2018Sayhellohereandgettoknowotherswhojoinedthismonthtoo_178071/
@understandingPomegranate4396
Hi Pomegranate,
This is my first time responding to a thread so be patient with me.
First of all, it's great that you have admitted that you have a problem, So many are addicted yet they have no idea, and it's great that you have taken that first step and recognised you have a problem, and that you want to change.
The harms of Pornography are thankfully becoming more and more well known ranging from physical illnesses to issues with the brain. A fantastic website called https://fightthenewdrug.org/ does a fantastic job at explaining this, so I recommend that you check that out.
Secondly, once the harms of Pornography are truly understood, then it's time to make change in order to rid yourself of this addicition. These are some of my suggestions and views, I also understand my views may seem slightly "unorthadox" to some, so I expect crticism. So if anyone reading disagrees, I ask that you do it in a polite way where we can discuss our views peacefully.
You said you have been addicted for 5 years. You need to look at the reasons as to why you fall back into it when you try and stop. From there you're able to treat the problem. Now you didn't tell me a lot about yourself so I will try and cover every base. Many times pornographic viewing can occur due to not having anything to do in the day. So it's not uncommon to hear many unemployed people being addicted or high school students falling in to it in the weekend. The obvious solution to this is to find something to do and do it. Whether that's getting a second job, taking up a new hobby such as Basketball, Football, or banging some weights together. Whatever rocks your boat. Use it as a distraction to get yourself out the rut. Does that mean that you will never get urges? Of course not, but the point is is that you have something that can pull you back up if you get distracted.
Something else useful I heard is to cut off all the things that will lead you into this. And yes if necassary that includes swapping out your smart phone for a brick one, moving the computer from the bedroom, even having times in the day where the internet becomes disconnected. Sounds drastic right? But if you're serious about quitting, you will be willing to take these serious steps. Is it possible to opt-out out of adult content by contacting your internet service provider, or by changing some settings? Perhaps you can find software to block Pornography. A good tip I heard is to type in a completely random password that you haven't written down, meaning you can't get access. By no means are these aren't foolproof steps, a very determined person can get pass all of them, however it's a beginning.
Many times when a person is alone, they can get these tempations to fall back in. So if you live with anyone, thats excellent. If it's possible, spend time with them and less time alone in the bedroom (or wherever it may be). And whenever these urges come to you when you are alone, learn to simply leave. Walk out the house etc, anything you can do to prevent yourself from falling back in. Perhaps there are certain triggers for Pornographic viewing. I've defintiely noticed this with others. They can include watching sexually explicit movies or listening to a sexually explcit song. I don't know of any research or studies to suggest that this is the case as of right now, but a quick google search will show that there is real life experience to suggest this.
Another tip is fasting. I won't go into this too much, but ecessentially fasting means your body has less energy, meaning it has less sexual desire, meaning a person is less likely to fall into watching Porn. If you simply Google "fasting to reduce porn addiction", you will find many who recommend this.
I think I'll leave that one there for now, as I've probably overwhelmed you with info. But just bare in mind the first few days will be the hardest. But I promise things do become easier and won't always be this way. As time goes on and on, things will become easier where you have reached a month without Porn. Once you get to a month, things will become far easier and if you keep it up you will eventually reach a point where you've won your battle. And if you slip and fall, then pick yourself up again and start again. You can do it!
@keyHoleDynamics very well said. wanna be my twin listener? ;)
@beetschrute43
Haha sounds like a plan
@beetschrute43
wait what is a twin listener exactly
@keyHoleDynamics
Well a twin listener is basically like getting to know a listener friend, more like having a twin. :P
@understandingPomegranate4396
I'm with you boy
@understandingPomegranate4396
(I've never watched pornography)
But I can understand what a major addiction feels like.
https://www.nofap.com/
This helped me. I hope it helps you as well.
There's nothing wrong with what you're doing, just keep jacking it in moderation and seperate reality from fiction and have a healthy sexual relationship with your right hand untill you can borrow someone else's.
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic He clearly thinks otherwise ''I don't know how to stop this addiction''.. when someone asks for help we should encourage them how to change their patterm instead of just shrug it off with just keeep doing what your doing. It's taking over his life.
Hey
It's quite brave of you to admit but in my opinion this is not an issue until you are keeping important work and study life aside of it.
In general everyone regularly watches porn may it male or female and there is nothing wrong about it. Infact having sex everyday is also not wrong. Don't make porn watching a reality in your mind and don't start comparing your life with that.
@Roypushpak
1) It's clear that OP wants to stop as he is asking for help, so why bother telling him to carry on? We would never give the response you gave to an alcohol addict, or to a drug addict. So why give it to someone who says they are addicted to pornography.
2)The harms of pornography are well known.
3) It is simply not true that every male and female watch pornography. I myself am a young hetrosexual sexually healthy male not in a relationship yet I don't watch porn. So your statement simply is not true.
@keyHoleDynamics Well said.
@StrivingSoul
Thanks!
@keyHoleDynamics @StrivingSoul
What you're saying is quite frankly ridiculous, watching porn is a response to biological sexual needs - humans have a WANT to reproduce, however not everyone has a partner and therefore can't reproduce/have protective sex, which is why we masturbate, this should be obvious enough to the point where you shouldn't have to compare it to another addiction like alcoholism, lol
Also porn is harmful? so relief of stress, decreased aggressive behavior, increased libido, increased sexual satisfaction, that's all a myth now? i mean i know that everyone is different individually - but that is not pornography's fault.
As the OP has not gone into depth about WHY they want to stop, i think telling them to stop is more harmful, as the lack of any sexual activity has proven to give rise to heightened stress, depression, lack of self-worth, future relationship problems, higher risk of cancer, apathy, and the list goes on.
It could be that the OP is confused about their sexuality, or that they feel shame for having perfectly normal sexual appetite, maybe they've got strict religious parents? poor self-esteem? there's no conclusive reason why they want to stop, which means you could only go by the logical conclusion that they shouldn't stop something that actually has positive health benefits.
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic
You have very strong points and facts about masturbation and its benefits to the human body. Even I, as a woman, can attest to that (no matter how taboo that may sound). It is true that everyone has their own desires and biological needs, but it's also a fact that everything in excess is bad. @keyHoleDynamics and @StrivingSoul both have a point as well. OP (@understandingPomegranate4396) is clearly addicted to porn as he's admitted it himself. An addiction - by definition - is a problematic habit. An addiction is something you do that affects your day-to-day life negatively. Porn may not be harmful in itself, but it's the instigating factor in OP's case. Yes, he shouldn't feel bad about having sexual desires as everyone does, but then again, it is the addiction that we are trying to address here and porn won't do him good for now.
ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, it's still HIS CHOICE. OP has the freedom to choose whether he should continue porn (in moderation) or stop it altogether and maybe embrace a new lifestyle. Whatever it is, all the best to you, OP! ^^
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic
The comment above was directed torwards you. Not towards @Raypushpak apologies Ray.
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic ''or that they feel shame for having perfectly normal sexual appetite,''??? he's having an addiction!
@StrivingSoul What i meant when i wrote that is that he could misconstrue it as an addiction when it is not really one, that he felt ashamed over his actions, or he was shamed for them, unless it's getting in the way of school work or important things in his life i wouldn't call it an addiction, maybe it is? maybe it isn't? unfortunately as he never got into detail about HOW much of a problem it's become it is hard to tell, so all you can really do is throw out suggestions.
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic clearly it's a problem for him since he's reaching out for help in an anonymous forum...
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic ''I've been addicted to porn for 5 years''. He himself addressed it as an addiction. He even states it in the title.
@StrivingSoul Well, yeah, but what does 5 years translate to? is he doing it every day? how many times a day? is he doing it in public? WHAT constitutes it being an addiction? i feel like it's self-diagnosing, if this is causing him actual serious distress he could always talk to the school therapist if he's got one, there's only so much a bunch of strangers on the internet can do with the information given.
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic ''he could always talk to the school therapist if he's got one'' yeah because it's so not nerve wracking walking up to someone you see everyday and say 'hey I watch too much porn, got a minute' and face that person the next day. Sometimes strangers can actually help better than anyone you know personally. If he says it's an addiction then it's an addiction and serious enough for him to ask for help. When someone says they're in trouble, trust them instead of being so suspicious.
@StrivingSoul Yeah but unlike that therapist, a bunch of strangers can't really give the most professional advice, i might be wrong but nobody in this thread right now has a PHD in Sexology, so as nerve wracking as that might be, you will at least get good advice and the help you need, besides, 99% of people masturbate anyway, including the therapist, so in my eyes it's no biggie, maybe i'm just too casual about this, but i don't see it as a big deal, lol.
Also, No, you shouldn't just trust someone because they say they have an addiction, or because they've self-diagnosed, it should be self-explanatory why that's a bad idea, you should always be a little bit sceptical of what people say online, there was a really horrific example here (on 7cups) a few years back where someone said they had pancreatic cancer and wanted support, and it turned out they were lying for sympathy points - not saying this is the same, but you shouldn't automatically believe someone online. \_( ツ )_/
Personally i'm waiting for OP to respond to any of these comments, but so far there's no activity from them, again, a little more detail is necessary for proper advice to be given, which i haven't seen you give any of, by the way, so perhaps you should post your own individual advice further below in your own separate comment if you're so concerned for his sexual health, not to sound like a b*tch, but it just kind of annoys me that all you've been doing during this whole thread is criticize people instead of helping along.
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic I don't think you're a b 1 tch. There're always worse examples, don't know what you're trying to gain with it. Clearly if he wanted a professional he would've gone to one or maybe he's there right now, we have no idea. Like you pointed out, we don't really have much detail. But when people come here, it's because they want to be right here. You don't necessarily need someone with a phD to help him. He could be helped by his best friend, a nurse, a therapist, a stranger, anyone who happens to have the tools to help him.
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic I don't know who the people are you're referring to, so far I've only criticized/disagreed with one person, you. I fully support keyhole's advice: ''First of all, it's great that you have admitted that you have a problem, So many are addicted yet they have no idea, and it's great that you have taken that first step and recognised you have a problem, and that you want to change.
The harms of Pornography are thankfully becoming more and more well known ranging from physical illnesses to issues with the brain. A fantastic website called ..''
@StrivingSoul I didn't even check out the website he posted, thanks for the reminder, turns out the website is run by a bunch of virtue signaling feminists and it's filled with pseudo-science, i'm sure not 'every' article on there is complete horse sh*t and riddled with lies, you know, gotta sprinkle in some facts to make the rest "believable", but taking any advice from that website could lead to further self-esteem issues, in my opinion if this 'addiction' is stemming from shame or a lack of female(/male?) attention, he should seek professional help, help he will NEVER get here.
and until he updates us with a new post of his own, i think continuing this is pretty much futile.
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic what's wrong with being a feminist? Anyways hopefully he posts more info or perhaps he's already gotten help.
@StrivingSoul Well, actually to be fair i was wrong, i did so more research and turns out the website is actually run by Mormons, but they just throw a bunch of feminist buzzwords around in their articles which threw me off, also this probably isn't the right place to discuss why i think modern feminism is one of the most dishonest and scummy movements out there besides every organized religion, lol, that is a can of worms to open for another day, but let's just say that neither of them have any right to tell what guys (or girls or that matter) should be allowed to do with their genitals in the privacy of their own home.
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic I probably should've pointed out that I haven't read the website referred to but I support everything else keyhole stated. As for modern feminists, perhaps you think it's women who hate on men? Feminism is about equality for BOTH genders. Anyways we're of topic haha. I wonder if he'll ever return, will be interesting.
@StrivingSoul Oh for sure, but isn't that old school feminism that cares about equality though? i just call myself an egalitarian anyhow, which is basically the same thing, just want to distance myself from the toxic alt-left regressives as much as possible, lol :P
and agreed, hopefully he's found some of the advice here helpful, or better yet some source outside of this clusterf*ck to actually give him the help he deserves. 👌
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic
You can do ur reasearch outside the website, it was simply a resource.
@Roypushpak
3578
1. Alc ohol is known to cause a lot of damage to the body et there are medical benefits to drinking alcohol. Alcohol is also known to decrease depression etc. So now according to your logic we should now carry on telling addicts to carry on. Likewise gambling can benefit a person. He was might win a lot of money and can reduce depression by betting etc. Or he might not... And that's the answer that's far more likely to occur. Hence the harm outweighs the benefit. If we tell a gambling addict to go cold turkey, undoubtedly he is going to be depressed for a while. But according to ur logic we should tell him to carry on gambling so he won't be sad.
2. Likewise the harms of porn are well known and anyone who denies them is either an ignormous or is arrogant. Ask men who before they were in relationships they used to watch porn. Why do so many of them have trouble maintaining erections? Why are so many of them one minute men? Don't ask me, ask them yourself, in unison they will all tell you the same answer.
3. To answer ur claim about depression, I've come across people becoming depressed because of porn addiction. So now what do you suggest? Treat them with more porn? Strange that as you said it decreases depression.
4. Nobody is saying sexual desires are unhealthy or bad or unnatural. The issue at hand is how you treat those desires.
5. I really don't understand your point about telling him to continue. If he wants to stop, why are you telling him to continue. He obviously has his reasons. Or even if he doesn't have reasons, why tell him to continue.
@keyHoleDynamics
1. You still cannot compare an evolutionary need to a man-made third party addiction like alcoholism or gambling, as i've already stated sex is a human need, we've evolved with it, that is why people masturbate, this is why i said in my original comment he should continue in MODERATION, of course addictions are bad, i never once said he shouldn't try to beat his addiction.
2. That is rather subjective, i've watched porn since i was a teenager and i have no issue maintaining my relationship, nor do i have any of the other issues you mentioed above, because sex is psychological it means different things to different people, Do you realize that after a survey done by PornHub, they found out that certain pornstars can attain up to a billion views per day? are you telling me the percentage of that which is men, will tell me the same thing in unison? nope!
3. Now you're just being ridiculous again, porn didn't make them depressed, depression is a clinical disorder, you were already depressed, watching too much porn simply put the depression out of hiding.
4. As @beetschrute43 said, it is his personal choice, he could continue in moderation, he could simply take a break, whatever he does, it's his choice, all i was merely suggesting, is that it has more positivie health benefits than negative ones, if you have third party mental health issues, then those need to be addressed first, keep in mind this is a teenager we are talking about, teenagehood is one of the most confusing times of your life, making a life choice for someone else is not up to me, nor you, or anyone else, it's his, and his alone.
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic
i cannot genuinely believe what you wrote. We agreed that sexual desires are normal and healthy and then you talked about masturbation, when we were talking about pornography. And then you said people watch and become addicted because they're depressed??? I thought they watched it to satisfy their sexual desires?? Interesting.. Just because you like porn doesn't mean it's not bad and unhealthy.
And as u said, this is a teenager etc. And I was concerned about you putting the wrong impression on porn, which in fact you did, and then made it out it was just a suggestion.
@keyHoleDynamics Ummm, i never said people watch porn BECAUSE they're depressed? lol, it was a response to what you said where you claim people you knew got depressed from watching it, which is only half-true because depression is a clinical disorder, they were already depressed, they could've gotten even more depressed from watching the morning news.
Also "We agreed that sexual desires are normal and healthy and then you talked about masturbation, when we were talking about pornography." Are you saying that porn and masturbation are mutually exclusive? do you not tend to masturbate while watching pornography?
I am also very curious about how it is a "bad impression" when all i've stated so far are medical facts backed by sexual science.
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic
Wirh regards to the depression issue, perhaps I could have used a better set of words but regardless it was still clear. And you've said it is only half true. Right so you've agreed that porn still has its part to play in causing depression or increases it etc. Thank you very much.
If you want to talk about facts then I suggest you read up on effects of pornography. Porn and masturbation are related but at the same time different, and you need to differentiate between them.
@keyHoleDynamics With that mentality i'm sure you also agree that violent video games increase violent and aggressive behavior and can lead kids to shoot up their schools? or that black metal makes you sacrifice virgins to the devil? because there is just as much merit to that as there is to pornography making you depressed and a one-minute man, just saying.
Also you yourself stated that you do not watch pornography, so how would you know what it is like watching it, if it is so very individual?
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic
I've spoken to those addicted to porn and gained an insight and done my own research....
That's how i know.....
@PerpetuallyKekastrophic @StrivingSoul
I'm calling it a night lads.
Hi I'm an addict. Porn and phone. I ty to avoid and I'm normally strong. Tonight I failed. I physically yearned for it and my hubby let me down and said my ass is ugy when I wanted him so I watched porn. I'm an addict. I like the org.
@J9SA your hubby should adore you and your assets. What a mean spirited person, no wonder you turn to porn..
@StrivingSoul
The you make me feel better
So I started over again. After 2 weeks I got triggered watching a movie with sex content and I over endulged myself. I feel bad all over again and I get that it's a sickness cuz I physically felt the urges, mentally. I wanted too!
@J9SA
clear your windshield, move ahead, each day is a new one, strive to be a person that is better than you were the day before. You got this. Have a great day.
@J9SA we all overindulge at times. It's okay.
@understandingPomegranate4396 hi