Anxiety and Addiction

Since a little girl I have had vivid dreams of older men, showing affection love, caring. I did grow up with my father not around (his choice) and experienced a lot of rejection and pain. I went through sundial thoughts, making myself go hungry, ocd habits and thoughts and high anxiety. I have forgiven my father and we've mad ammends and starting to have a relationship. I justvstarted therapy last week.

I am still battling anxiety, disassociation and panic attacks. The dreams are not all the time but when they happen are so vivid I feel left longing for the arms I felt around me or the love. There is no greater love than the love of GodThe Father and ibhold fast to him through it all.

As a younger teen I started getting involved in sex and I started becoming addicted to the high of feeling wanted after rejection and horrible bullying and depression. Although ibdont engage in it now, this deep longing still comes over my body and it aches.

I don't want to feel this painful longing. Can anyone relate?