I am trying to recover from a long term porn dependability

I guess i am writing this because this is confrontation, and the first step of recovery is confrontation.

I know i am not aline in this, i know i am not special in my suffering.

I have developed a porn addiction or a sex fantasy addiction ( pre porn ) since i was fourteen.

It has distorted my view of the world. It was the only place that can escape to when the world became too much to handle.

And coming from a place of lack of attention and love and care, that was quite frequent.

I have a level of anxiety, i cannot say if it was a high level or a normal one. I have never been professionally treated so all i have is my own sense of it.

So to not discourage myself from writing again, i will cut this short.

I need help, i am trying to quit and i believe i have made quit a progress, maintaining mental stability, convincing myself that i am safe, trying to love myself and not giving in to my anxiety flails. However sometimes i cannot control it anymore and all *** breaks loose and i feel like garbage not only because of the sex addiction which would probably be a part of life for a very long time to come, but all of it, i find myself in a state of fear helplessness depression and anxiety with nowhere else to go but the state. Can someone tell that i am not that person anymore that i have changed? Thank you.