I just relapsed and hit rock bottom

Yes, women struggle too. I'm going to confession tomorrow, and I'm going to try to begin anew, but I feel broken in a million pieces. I'm in a lot of emotional pain, and now I'm starting back from square one. I have nobody besides God who I share this with. I keep all my pain to myself, and I can't cry. I just jeep carrying it on day after day after day and then when it gets all too much for me, I relapse. When I can't handle the memories, the pain, the anxiety, when I can't hear God, then I get in a dark place that can easily lead to relapse.