I need to tell someone this.
I am a 46 year old man who (I am pretty sure) has been dealing with an escalating sex addiction for the majority of his life. I remember having sexualised thoughts very early on in life (maybe from 5-6 years old?) and my first quasi-sexual experience was at around the age of 8 with someone of the same age. It was a bit doctors and nurses but a little further than I expect most of these things go. Throughout my childhood and into my teens I masturbated very regularly and when even though I got a girlfriend when I was 17, I actually lost my virginity to a prostitute before I had sex with my girlfriend. I have basically never been single since that girlfriend, and have always engaged in cheating with non sex-workers as well as sex workers for my entire adult life. I actually got into a relationship/affair with one of them which ended up costing me hundreds of thousands and nearly ending my marriage. 6 years on from that discovery and I have continued to use sex workers and my behaviours around that have become increasingly risky. I'd prefer not to go into detail around that but it is safe to say that this is becoming a serious problem. When the urge comes on it is absolutely compulsive. I need to deal with this without involving my wife or family because I simply could not live with the shame of putting them through all of that again. I don't know what else to say for now... I just hope I can get myself sorted out.
@StomachInKnots
Thanks for sharing. Yes this is a problem, you are a person who indulges in risky sexual behavior..You have gotten away with doing it so long that it has become second nature to you..
Because your hiding it your hurting only yourself, but one day may come when your completely exposed and then it's everybody's problem.
I wish you luck, having a addiction of any kind can cause trouble for anybody..🌲
Thank you for being brave enough to share something so personal. ❤️ I can imagine how difficult it must be to carry these feelings, especially when you've been struggling with these patterns for so many years and feel that the situation is becoming more serious. It sounds like you've reached a point where you genuinely want things to change, and I think that's an important step.
I want you to know that you don't have to define yourself entirely by your past mistakes or the behaviours you're struggling with right now. You can acknowledge the harm that may have happened, take responsibility for your choices, and still believe that change is possible. Feeling ashamed can make it difficult to reach out, but you deserve support in addressing this rather than having to fight it alone.
When you describe the urges as compulsive and increasingly risky, it sounds like this is causing you real distress. Speaking privately with a qualified therapist who has experience with compulsive sexual behaviour or addiction could help you understand your triggers and develop practical ways to manage those urges. You don't have to share every detail here to begin getting help, and seeking professional support doesn't mean you're a failure.
For now, it may help to notice what tends to happen before the urges become overwhelming, create some distance from situations that make acting on them easier, and find someone appropriately trained whom you can speak with confidentially. You can take this one step at a time. If the behaviour could put your health or anyone else's health at risk, taking steps to reduce that risk is important, too.
I'm glad you've reached out instead of keeping everything bottled up. You don't have to solve your entire life in one day, and you don't have to figure everything out on your own.
If you're comfortable answering, when these urges become overwhelming, what do you feel is usually happening emotionally just before they take over? ❤️ +23279061883 Email: mcontehprezo@***.com