Sex addict or sex deprived?

Hello ThatDad98,

I’m no psychologist, or clinician by any means. However, I have a post graduate degree and a professional career, which really means nothing other than I will do what it takes to study and do research. So regarding my advice, it is based upon experience and study.

So, regarding your question whether you are deprived or addicted to sex, only you can ascertain that for yourself. We are sexual beings, and beyond our emotions, our bodies crave sex. There are urges that we all have that are natural, and may I add God given to delight in and enjoy. There are certain chemicals within our bodies, our brains in particular, that are excitable when we even start to think of sex due to the dopamine release in our brains. Some have expressed that dopamine can be explained as the give me give me drug in the body. This is primarily what causes us to go back again and again because our brain tells us that was wonderful, I got to have more.

However, the dopamine gets released in our brains prior to our cognitive part of our brains determining whether the way we obtain that release is legitimate or not (right or wrong). There much more to say on that, but for now, that is why we crave sex.

To understand whether you are addicted, one writer has suggested that all addictions are compulsive in nature. That means, you convince yourself that you got to have it (whatever that is, drugs, food, alcohol, or even sex, etc.) at any cost, even if to do so means you will gain it in illegitimately. This means that you have given control of yourself over to your compulsion (your craving, urges). And as you continue to reinforce that behavior, you chain yourself to that destructiveness until you become its slave. What remains is a behavior that is almost animalistic in nature that leaves us in shame, which only “refuels” that behavior.

That is the difference between deprived and being addicted. Deprivation can be worked out with proper communication and understanding. Addictions can be overcome, but that is a high mountain to climb which will require endurance, determination, counseling, and many mistakes along the way which only reinforces that it is not going to be easy. But years of struggle and determination and the rewards those bring, are worth more than a lifestyle overcome by addictive behavior.

There are some very good resources out there, both secular and religious that I have found particularly helpful. And others, to be honest, not so much. One good book in particular is called, “Surfing for God,” by Michael John Cusick. His struggle was with porn, masturbation, and all kinds of sexual brokeness. However, the book deals a lot about addictive behaviors and how to overcome them.

Hope this help, would be willing to continue if you so care to!

Well here's another answer mate...

All about you , not her mental health or trauma.

She could just lay back and.take it right..

Have a heart, stop and imagine what she's feeling.

Yeah it hurts when it's not good for you..

Help her , help yourself

Mrs with bipolar borderline and PTSD

Stop look, never pressure, care..

Sorry no PhD..

Hi,

I have been feeling this way for a few years. Our sex life doesn’t seem to be the same. She doesn’t do the things we use to which causes me to masturbate, watch porn and seek out sexual conversations.

im glad Im not alone in feeling like this. I don’t know what to do anymore and I’m trying to be better.

Hello,

I am new to the app and while I don’t know what your current situation is but I would like to recommend talking to a certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT) If at all possible. I would also recommend looking into some resources for Sex Addiction and see if that the case for you. Be aware though, for a lot of sex addicts (and im assuming addicts in general) realizing and admitting to your addiction is an extremely difficult part of overcoming it. Another recommendation I would have for you if you do determine your sexual behavior to be having a significant impact on your life and relationships, then I would recommend looking for some sort of support group or 12 step program online. I personally found them helpful for me even though I was skeptical at first of any 12 step program due to my religious views. I personally prefer the telephone meetings, But to each their own.

I do sincerely hope you the best!

Feel free if you happen to have any questions or if there is anything that I could potentially answer for you!

Try some sweet in romantic to her mind level that's not to much for her take it slow.....rub her feet clean cook run her back whatever she likes do. Be charming and considerate