Struggling to cope with masturbation habit

(Earlier post got accidentally posted)

Its been some weeks I haven't consumed porn content. Though I do admit, I have masturbated without porn, because the anxiety became so much, I had to relieve myself. I guess this happens when you haven't relapsed for 3 weeks and then you do, your body just wants that. Its extremely hard to resist it. So, I decided I'll don't watch porn to relieve, I'll do it without it. So I have never counted them as a relapse, because I am really fighting porn addiction first.

Though I admit, I watched today, for good 1 or 2 hours, didn't relapsed, but I feel bad for going there. I felt like watching it, may let go of this anxiety I am feeling, but no, wrong idea. It relaxes you for a while, but later, your mind wants that.

Here is a catch and quite interesting. It's not my mind which wants it, now that I have watched it, it does, but really is my body, which is seeking satisfaction. I may have accumulated a lot of stress in my body and its want to find relief. I am seeking for physical connection now. Like I want things for real, not what porn serves me. I want to make real connection, real sexual connect too.

For that, I guess, I have made a masturbation habit, I don't need porn now to excite me, my mind is enough for that. I feel urges and want to just stroke to relax it. I don't know how many of you connect with this, but I hope someone does. I want to get out of this habit and be more involve in other aspects of my life, rather than being in porn world.