masturbation and porn
am i addicted?
i watch porn from 2 to 3 times a week and masturbate and i want to stop but i can't
Welcome to the community dol! Happy to have you here with us. I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. I appreciate you opening up to us; that takes so much effort and courage. How are you coping these days?
Let us know if you have any concerns or questions. Best wishes! :)
@dolofficial
@lovelyWhisper66
thanks for being nice
i am doing great , how about you ?
i am trying to stop but i know it takes time
i might be not addicted but i just want to stop that's what i want
@dolofficial I am doing well thanks for asking. I am glad to hear you are doing alright. You show great self awareness. We are all here for you, and I hope 7Cups has been helpful so far for you. :)
@lovelyWhisper66
i love 7cups it's helping me a lot
@dolofficial
That depends entirely on how you view it.
Is there a hobby that, instead of practicing the said hobby, you decide to replace with masturbating? Does it keep you from reaching your goals? Does it result in you being late from work, school or any other scheduled activity?
If it's not hindering your life, then I wouldn't call it addiction.
However, you do say you wish to stop, so I'm thinking this is causing you trouble. Why is that?
@CoerciveFlame
its not stoping me from doing anything and i might be not addicted but i want to stop i do it when it's late at night when i can't sleep from stress it takes my mind away from thinkng but i feel horrible for doing it i just wanna stop i don't want to face my stress with porn and masturbating
@dolofficial It sounds like you might be addicted, or at the very least you're developing addiction, which I think because of the way you say that you want to stop but you "can't".
@dolofficial
What is it that keeps you up at night? What is causing you stress?
Masturbation is known to relief stress, but I gather you do this very often and that's indeed where it does become a problem. It clearly has an impact on you everytime you decide to do it.
Can you think of any other ways, that would be pleasant to you, to relief stress? Personally I go to the gym and have also recently began to meditate daily, but that's not saying that my way would work for someone else, like you, since we're two different persons.
And yes, I too would like to add that I have struggled with the same problem. It used to be nearly daily occurance to me, to masturbate. But not because I was stressed, but because of boredom. And so, once I was able to find things to occupy myself with (work, hobbies etc) I rarely find myself -that- bored anymore. And even if I do, I can't really find the interest to do it.
@CoerciveFlame
I'm struggling with something similar: I have a much higher sexual appetite than my husband and I will usually take care of myself on the sky if I'm frustrated (or stressed, or bored, or can't sleep...) But I've been getting more desperate lately and porn sites turn to chat roulette, which turns to sexting with a stranger, and FaceTime mutual masturbation, I'm afraid I might be spiralling. Any advice?
@Bethmadia
What makes you think you have a higher sexual drive than your husband? Is he often "not in the mood?" Has he said something specific related to it? Have you talked with him about this?
I understand from your post, that all of these practices that have seemingly began to spiral are your way to either relief stress or frustration and when you're just bored. What is causing you stress, what is making you frustrated? Is it your husband's behavior? When it comes to boredom, what is it you do? Do you have any other activites you could follow instead? Could you find other ways to relief yourself, to occupy yourself with, something that would make you happy?
Above all this, understand that there is nothing wrong with you. I admire that you've been able to recognize your dilemma and halt its progress before things have a chance to spiral even further out of control.
@Bethmadia
I had the same problem in the past. High sex drive with a partner who didn't. I think that's why I stayed single for a long time.
I haven't had sex regularly in 6 years. My husband is often too tired for sex, and I don't want to make it a burdensome thing. However, the sex drive kicks in on occasion, but I find masturbation dissatisfying.
I think I'd prefer to have someone I could discuss sex with regularly so my married life could still be satisfying without the worry of sex complicating things.
@Bethmadia I'm going through the same problem but it's not so serious but there are times when I'm tempted to do so and I feel helpless so I just give in to it .. feels wrong 😣😣
@Bethmadia hey Beth so how has it been. Did u get help. I have the same issue and I been considering to get some professional help.
I deal with this on the daily, as some1 who believes in God, I'm hypocritical, I try to avoid porn/masturbation but I willingly give in more often than not; if I'm being honest.
@MarcellusTorres I can relate to this. I too feel like a hypocrite about it. I find myself often blaming it on lack of self-control, and it becomes a viscious cycle of relapse-blame-relapse...
@Monolilith Exactly, i dunno if u believe in God or not, but I do and it just is so tiring and repetitive & i feel very insincere if i jus keep going in this direction
@MarcellusTorres I do believe in God and I was a frequent church-goer. It was really tough trying to reconcile being a "good" Christian whilst engaging in such activities. I was very self-critical and felt guilty all the time. I don't think too much about it nowadays, but that is probably because I don't care too much about going to church anymore either. Maybe. I am not sure where am I going with this 😅
@Monolilith I get it, i havent been 2 church lately & ive been praying a bunch 2 help me get over thia hump.
@MarcellusTorres all the best to you :)
@Monolilith Thanx
Hey everyone! I'm currently trying to get over my addiction to pornography. It's really hard. The longer I've been able to go without relapse is 2 weeks.
I've recently started to really look at what it does to me and how it affects my interactions with others. Every time I stop for more than 2 days I notice my drive to speak to others and be myself is much higher. I also nitice it's easier to speak or flirt wirh women I find interesting.
But then the relapse happens and the shame comes back, preventing me from connecting once again.
I found out I need some help and people to talk to about this, so here I am. I cannot do thsi alone. None of us can, we need each other!
@Freneshky
I'm currently on day 10.
I'm not an advocate for masturbation - or porn, which is usually associated with it - but neither do I fully agree on them being bad for you. However, everything comes with moderation. When it begins to affect your life, that's when it becomes a problem.
I've yet been unable to make the connection myself with masturbation and how it is associated with low self-esteem and lack of confidence. But I believe, or I would like to believe, that there's a truth to it. The reason I don't believe it yet is just a case of chance. Maybe the day I didn't feel that confident, when I felt like isolating myself from others, was merely a work of chance, maybe I was having a "bad-day." I do have a distinct lack of confidence and low self-esteem, but I also have a history that justfies it. I'm also shy by nature.
But I have a gathering with my workmates this friday and I want to be at my very best, so I'm not taking any chances. I believe 10 days is the longest I've managed to go. I'm not going to let myself sabotage this.
@CoerciveFlame, how has your gathering been?
nothing new happened
i feel frustrated i know i have a high sex drive never been with someone like me
but i am sick of using porn and masturbation
and i dont know what to do
sometimes i wish i lose the feeling of sexual arousing
This is so embarrasing but...I don't want to feel alone in this. I masturbate 2-3 times everyday of the week. Sometimes I feel like I'm "addicted", even though masturbation is a normal thing I guess. No one in my family knows I do it, so I have to rely on websites to help give me some sort of answers on why I do this so much. I'd put masturbation over socializing any day. I'd rather masturbate than go to parties, events, school, etc. Does anyone else feel this way?
@ImprovingPanda
I am the same way, I tried to tell my therapist about it, he told me its normal especially that I just got out of a relationship and dont have a woman. I told him no I have a problem , my life is unmanageable and I cant seem to be in control, after telling him they enough times he told me oh I didnt know you have a problem. I decided to research and find out why Im like that, After gathering a few pounds of courage I decided to break my routine and do something different , and go to one of those meetings where people meet to talk about addictions , specifically sex. First time sharing I felt like my heart was about to come out of my body. I heart people say good job , keep coming back , words of support , I kept on pushing myself to find what they called a sponsor , and I did , after I found one , I managed to stay sober for 8 consecutive months , I didnt know I could do that , not just sober , no porn , no sex , no masturbation, I was amazed at how my body could do that ! I used to think that I needed to masturbate , but I discovered that I actually my body can eject whatever it needs to eject without my help nor intention, I discovered things that I did not know exist. Up to here is the good news. Addiction is hard work , if you stop going to meetings and do not seek help , you will slip and you will relapse. I hope this info might be of benefit to you. If I cant help you then the least I can do is give you my experience and knowledge.
@diplomaticBeach8952 Ok wow because this is like me and I didn't know someone else felt like this. I don't have a therapist or anything but I'm going to try to find help because I didn't think it was possible to be addicted to masturbation but I guess it is. I literally feel like I can't go one day without doing it, so I'll see if I can try and help myself hopefully. Thank you for your input 😊
@dolofficial
I dont think you are, that is quite normal (or sontold me my sexuolog) its actually considered addiction when it messes up with your day to day life.
Like i used orgasms as coping mechanism, I could do it like 20 times a day, the uncontrolable thobbing between my legs wouldnt stop as an effect of my anxiety attack. I would literally be unable to leave house, and if i had too, i had to stop like 2 times each hour at some toilet and get myself off. And over and over.
Im in better place in life where I dont get so muvh anxiety since im not abused anymore, i still have my disorders, but it got better. Now I just do it like 4-9 times a day on aveage, and thats pretty managable.
If it intertvines with your life thought, doctor can help you a lot. Dont be shy, sexuologists deal with this on daily basis and hear such problems all the times.
Good luck!
I'm addicted to porn and masturbation too
