Lost dream job due to poor timekeeping

@CalmingLilac95130

That can be really hard and I am so sorry about your lost job. Something I have learned about ADHD is in struggling with it, I won't do anything until the absolute last minute so I won't get anywhere until right as I am supposed to be there or I will leave to get there last minute. Maybe making sure you have a different schedule notes for yourself as you have to be there at X time maybe when you have to be there 15 or 30 minutes or however late you were for work so you can either be that much early or you can avoid being late. Sometimes that has been able to work for me to be able to get to my job on time.

Hi, @CalmingLilac95130

I feel for you so much, as tardiness was (and sometimes STILL is) something I struggled with really bad. I got poor grades, lost jobs, lost big opportunities, and disappointed friends and partners who felt I didn't value or respect their time. Being late sounds so ridiculous and like such an easy fix, people who don't struggle with this can't understand how deeply it can wreak havoc on nearly every area of life! One this that helps me (and I KNOW you've heard this - we've ALL heard this - but I'll say it again!) is preparing the night before. It's not something I always do, but when I do, the morning is almost seamless. Just eliminating the decision process of what to wear and having the entire outfit (shoes, underwear, everything) all together in one corner of the room, ready to change into, helps SO much.

Us with ADHD struggle with a condition called "time blindness" (Google that! It's interesting!) which makes us struggle with the concept of time. We feel hours and minutes differently than others because we can get REALLY lost in thought. I once recorded myself just to see how on earth it takes me so long to get ready...at one point I was putting on mascara for almost 5 full minutes. It felt like 5 seconds, but I must have been rehearsing some arguments or playing some movies in my head because I stood there at the mirror stroking my lashes for 5 minutes. Just stuff like that makes you go, wow! Something to help with this is a visual timer (I like the app "Time Timer" but there are others I'm sure). What these do is allow you to set a timer and show you the passage of time on a pie. Do this a few times to time every step of getting ready in the morning and write down the average times for each step (shower: 15min, wash face/brush teeth: 5 minutes, makeup: 10 minutes, etc). And glance over at that pie every so often...it will often surprise you. It slowly teaches you what 10 minutes should really feel like and you'll slowly lock in stable times for each step.

I also set alarms on my phone with different ringtones for every 15minutes of the hour it takes me to get ready. "You have 30 minutes left!", "You have 15min left!!", "You need to leave NOW!", "SERIOUSLY. OUT. You're late!!!!!" These have also helped tremendously. It's hilarious and it probably woke my roommate a few times, but it helped me to get to school and work on time more often than not!

Hope these helped!! And I hope you find a new job soon and that it has flexibility and a loving environment (where they don't freak out if you're 5 minutes late)!! I start a new one in a week, so I have to remind myself of these tips myself!!

***hugs***

My ex didn't understand that I have "Time Blindness". So, when we were late leaving our Air B & B, she was furious with me for "making excuses" and I "just need to do it" when I was explaining like I don't know why I'm late, like I seriously can't tell the passage of time and I've always been this way and that she needs to understand this part of me... She didn't care, didn't care to listen didn't care to understand.

@CalmingLilac95130

Hi Calming, I'm sorry to hear you went through that but I'm glad you are using this as an experience to learn! I also have ADHD and I try to keep a detailed planner, it helps ease my mind that I have something to do and I know what it is you know? Though keep in mind it's important to keep some flexibility.

I used to struggle with being on time, so I would set things due 30 minutes ahead of time. I know that seems like a lot, but trust me, I really struggled at first.

I hope this helped!

@CalmingLilac95130I'm sorry to hear your story, but being late is really something that many people can not tolerate. Maybe you think it is only one minute, but it will damage your image in the minds of others, so that others will deny your ability. I hope you can learn a lesson, you can avoid being late by being early for everything, or just arrange your watch ten minutes in advance. This will prevent you from being late.