ADHD impulsivity and medications
Hi I am a male mature adult diagnosed late with ADHD prescribed medications early last year gradually, vyvanse and dexamphetamine. Learning about ADHD, medications and symptoms and recognising is quite intense. I realised even though I take my medications which help significantly with mood regulation, motivation, focus, and being able to actually wake up ready for my day with goals.... I'm still impulsive. For example, when I message family, or friends, work colleagues and previous partners or using dating apps, I often get told I jump the gun, give too much information overshare, and I noticed when boredom strikes it's heightened. I don't mind my family and friends as they understand me well despite that it annoys them, but I thought I was mindful and aware with other people and environments but I just forget and continue my previous patterns. The difference is, I am more forgiving of myself, I realise mostly after it's happened, I try not to blame, but thought medications may have helped with this aspect of my life. I found this app so I thought I'd send this to see if anyone else can relate or suggest things? Thanks 👍🏼 first time user her 🤠
@8ChatLion8
Hey there, welcome to 7 Cups! I hope you're finding the support that you're looking for here, we're really glad to have you 💛
How did it make you feel, when you got your diagnosis and your medications? I imagine it must have been really validating, to have an explanation and a reason? I'm glad meds are helping, and it's great to hear that you're able to be forgiving of yourself - it sounds like you're super self-aware and reflective, which is an amazing thing to be.
I was actually advised to get a diagnosis from other professionals who observed me awhile ago. Due to covid lockdowns it was difficult. I felt a sense of new normal, a feeling of oh that's why I may do this or that. So I have been researching so much that it is overwhelming with all the information out their. I can relate to so much and then I don't relate to some other things which is confusing. I have a better understanding that neurospicey individuals aren't moulded in ways that have to tick every box, so I have to keep reminding myself. I guess as a mature adult, I have only known what I have and now I am learning new skills, behaviours and ways to understand myself more, provide reassurance, self kindness, care and compassion. It definitely is a journey, but I am embracing myself for the better 😍
@8ChatLion8
Welcome to 7 Cups and thank you for posting this, I could so easily have written this myself apart from being alone. I have been referred for assessment by a psychologist who is 90% certain I have ADHD along with PTSD., just 18 months ago, I turned 59 last week.
Happy Birthday 🥳 I am sure whatever the process, outcome and future has for you, it will be bright and fruitful 😃
@8ChatLion8
Hi Lion! 😊 ❤️
Thank you for your forum post! 😊 ❤️ I know that sometimes it takes a great deal of courage to reach out for help and support. I applaud you!
While I might not experience ADHD personally, therefor unable to suggest very much...just had some thoughts to share on being a human being with thoughts, feelings, emotions just as most other people have.
I'm glad that your family and friends understand you, care about you and accept you for who it is that you are! ❤️ You are blessed! I imagine you afford them the same.
For work colleagues, well, we do what we need to do sometimes. I can't imagine anyone going to work screaming "I just gotta' be me" 😁 and letting it all fly (and maintaining gainful employment for very long).
I can understand that in these types of settings, we might need to engage in higher self monitoring. I think one can still be authentic while doing so; kind of us "dialing it back a bit"? Maybe kind of like, it's still us and social standards dictate that we wear a suit and a heavily starched shirt as opposed to a pair of flip flops, Christmas pajama pants with a hole in the butt, and a sequined tube top. Just sayin', that sounds like a boat load of fun! 🤣
If you have like minded colleagues, that sure do wish they could wear those pajama pants too (with the blow out in the fanny), maybe they become part of your tribe at work for more relaxed engagement in a work place setting. Gettin' er done while having fun doing so, all the while. 😊
As for the rest of the world, previous partners, dating apps, etc., if their expectations are for you to constantly wear that suit, starchy shirt, and tie that might be most constricting, each and every moment, they might not be ones that are worth engaging with. To do so would be them asking you to not be authentic and to fit some mold that isn't you at all. Could be best for them to go find a guy that is willing to sit in a hot tub wearing dress socks, dress shoes and a cummerbund. Fancy! 😊
"Be who you are and say what you want, for those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind". - Dr. Seuss. I bet that there are plenty of people on the planet that would love nothing more to hear what is on your mind, how you think, how it is that you feel and would be really appreciative of you sharing those things and freely. Be you and if it "weeds" out those that aren't the right "fit", ta-dah 💫, you may have just saved yourself a lot of time and potential heartbreak.
Hold strong, good people are out there. Sometimes you might have to wait a little bit longer to find them? Its okay for you to have standards and expectations of the other party too!
*high fives* 😊, *hugs* ❤️ and thank you for the new term "neurospicy" Weeeeeeeeee-weeeeeeee! 😊
@SparkyGkzmo
That might just be the best response I've read yet, how much do you charge for your stand up shows ?
I recent times I've been regulating more, I'm tempted not too now 😁😁😁
@RunningMachine
Many thanks my friend! 😊 ❤️
I'm glad that you enjoyed my attempts at humor! 😁 You seem to have caught the "flavor" of it all...showing empathy, compassion, understanding, kindness and consideration with using a bit of levity as a delivery system to show that I truly "get it" and that our OP has been heard.
I kind of think, all things in moderation I guess. We are all busy people, doing this, doing that...pleasing this person, that person, pleasing this entity, etc. and I have to wonder if some of us eventually go into "pleasing mode" that it's to the degree that we please everyone, but ourselves. And maybe sometimes pleasing no one at all as we are aligned with others that aren't the right fit. (Trying to please the un-pleasable).
I wonder how is it that we end up "losing ourselves" in the shuffle of it all? It saddens me to think of my fellow human beings, being stuck in performative roles even in their free time, with demanding people that can't allow others to be how it is that they are, just humans with hearts, souls, minds, a pulse, with needs wants and wishes all of their own.
It sounds like a total lack of acceptance of others, being highly judgmental and maybe in the end people just being seen as "prey" to get what they want out of others? Turn them into something that they aren't?
I will be the first to admit, I lack understanding in this area.
So, as a female, it is incredibly disconcerting to know that people get mixed messages. The world that we currently live in, tells men that being masculine is toxic. I be like.....wut? 😳 Other things that are on the list of complaints are that men are not sensitive enough, are closed off, don't share their thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Here we have our OP that clearly feels they are being "shut down" for doing just that with past partners and potential future ones. Reaching out for a human connection, wanting to share of themselves.
Turn taking sounds nice. Each person being allowed to give freely to one another and share of themselves. If someone isn't interested, sounds like the wrong "someone" to me.
I love the works of Shel Silverstein. While they can be seen as children's books, there is so much value in there for adults as well. Should anyone be willing to embrace the true meaning of what the author is trying to convey, could be quite monumental.💫
Anyone that is struggling in their journey with relationships, "The Missing Piece" series (quite a few of them there) could be a source of comfort and potentially the beginnings of a new mindset. I think it's true that sometimes we sift through the branches when we should be digging at the roots.
Again, many thanks Running! ❤️ *high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo
I will returm to this post and look into some of your references, I'm a lonely ADHD male with PTSD but feel like I've found my tribe since joining 7 Cups. I'm not afraid to be emotional and share, I hope it helps others too and helps others in return.
You sound pretty awesome by the way, thank you.
@RunningMachine
❤️❤️❤️