How to handle the process of growing up

Hello :D So I was wondering is it normal to what I best could describe is grief for your younger innocent self.Like I miss it when everything wasn’t so big where the only thing I did was play go to school and hangout with my parents.Now that I am a lot older my brain is riddled with all kinds of questions like what the point of anything and if anything real. And I hate the fact that everything is going to change and this will never happen or be again. And I don’t want things to change I like waking up and seeing my parents I don’t want to lose them I don’t want to lose anyone in my family I just want time to stay at a stand still. I don’t want things to end. My brain has accepted the fact that when I die there’s nothing but it can’t handle the thought of that if that makes sense. But i can’t handle the thought of losing the people I care for . What do I do. I am scared and I keep on crying  over this. (If you want details on how a lot of these thoughts started happening I’ll be happy to share)