Message to my members after aging up
Hello my lovely members! I've turned 18 yesterday (yippee)🙃. A lot has happened and changed yesterday, and the main this is, I'm an adult now! :)
I have to apologise that because of that reason, we may not be able to be in touch for sometime now (well that is until you turn 18). It was my mistake for not being aware of that and wasn't able to let you know in advance 🥺. I'm sorry our last conversations were not that conclusive, as I was expecting to say our temporary goodbyes before my break. Again I apologise for disappearing like that. And thank you for your understanding!
I really enjoyed our chats together, and thank you for your kind words. I'll definitely cherish our time spent together
I want to let you know that I'll still be here for you 💛 even though we may not be able to communicate like how we used to, I hope we are able to reconnect here 💛. I wish you all the best in your journey to healing 💕
Lots of love
Cozycat :3
(I hope I could give you a hug, well... a virtual and mental one if you're accepting of it)
My dear members:
I hope this message reaches you <3
(I still have a lot to say but I hope this can express my thoughts <3)
@CozyCat8507
when are you coming back :(
@LuckyBlast1
In a distant future... 🙃
@Cozycat8507
YOU'RE BACK??? gosh i thought i'd never see you again
@LuckyBlast1
dont worry im still on this planet :3 i didnt go back to kitty planet, dont worry :3
Im posting a new thread here cause i think im starting to loose track (heh oopsies) but ill try to catch up the other ones and hope i dont miss anything
CozyCat :3
okiii, but i rlly need to sleep now, if you have a msgs for me before school lmkkk
@LuckyBlast1
i hope you have the sweetest dreams <3 I'll do my best to update you on applying for ATL, and try to check the forums more consistenly (might not be everyday but not longer than a few days hopefully)
CozyCat:3
@CozyCat8507
ik listeners also chat with maybe around a few members at best and then they're "focusing on their long term members". i was just woundering if you'd be doing the same, and if so, would i be considered a "long term member"?
also i got school now, why the heck am i typing this?
@LuckyBlast1
ill be more than happy to have long term members :) and yea of course, we've connected for quite a while now, and hope we can resume our chats after applying for ATL :3
hope you had a nice day at school!
@Cozycat8507
well i kinda had a miracle, okay so i got a new subject called "electrotehnics" which is just a sub branch of physics (cuz we have like 4 maths, 3 physics, some croatian and english and like 6 ICTs)
and basically i got my test back which i was kinda affraid to get cuz i thought i'd get an F bc for potential, i wrote that it was in juels, while its in volts
and the teacher just subrated 5% frm the test so was kinda lucky
also one more storyyy frm yesterday, so basically we all had to an old pc which had an intel pentium processor (ew), a SMR HDD (even moee ewww) and a motherboard that's older than both of us combined :>
i got an A there, but one guy somehow manneged to find a worse motherboard and say it was an upgrade, also he didnt have any of the other components, and the pc parts werent compatible...
@LuckyBlast1
ooh i see, seems like a hard subject. yea i understand why you may feel uncertain about test scores, but dont worry, we all make silly mistakes (i do quite a bit in my exams too 🙃) but it does help us learn better as its more memorable to us. but im glad it went well for you :)
and wow, im so proud of you! what you said didnt really make sense to me 😅 (i dont really know anything about tech stuff) but it sounds to me that you've got a hang of it <3 well done 💛
CozyCat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea those two are the 2 hardest subjects in the school, also i DID get the hang of it since i made 4 seminars and i have 2 Fs in it, but atleast i got knowledge that actually stuck.
also the proffesor is kinda homophobic but eh, he explained it to us in a funny yet disturbing way, i'll tell you in detail on 1 on 1 :3
@LuckyBlast1
wowiee, your doing well :) that's really good to hear, you're working hard and it's paying off. there may be a few bumps on the road but i believe in you can overcome it <3
ehh, yea... well... some of the best professors do have some kind of dark humour(ish) heh...
i look forward to hear more :3
CozyCat :3
@CozyCat8507
and i look forward to chatting with you :3
@CozyCat8507
hii just a quick heads up question, when do you plan on getting the badge and returning to our old chats?
@LuckyBlast1
im currently applying for the role, and they said might take a week or two to process it and then have an interview to finalize the process. i know it might seem a long time, but i do understand its for the safety for younger people here, to make sure you know im an actual person and not a cat :0 (heh..., just kidding but yea for safety)
i hope the longest a month (prolly not that long)
in the mean time if your comfortable we can have light hearted chats here if you like <3
CozyCat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea im comfy, and a month isnt rlly all that much time since i'm killed with schoolwork (cuz yk, being in the 2nd strongest hs here is kinda hard with the schoolwork presure)
but i'll update you more on that in 1 on 1 cuz i dont wanna have ppl actually think its rlly hard (it is, but its also not, its complex)
@LuckyBlast1
that's good to hear :)
but it does sound impressive to me :3, and you're having fun learning the things you are interested 🙃
CozyCat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea, like i just finished 11 thingies for coding while you were waiting for all of my msgs to show up bc i have an exam frm it on Monday :>
@LuckyBlast1
oh woww, you were really productive today :) and i know you'll smash that exam on monday :3
(ive heard from my friends that coding is really hard, like even one small mistake like idk an extra space? can make the whole thing crash ehhhh...)
CozyCat :3
@CozyCat8507
wellll, yea but also not, depends on what programing language you codding in.
i program using c++ bc thats the programing language we learn at school here in 9th grade, bus i also got into js
(also i rlly wanna tell you a recent problem that developed into smth rlly hard, and that is my mom has been acting very rudeish to me, like no matter how kind i am, there's always an aspect of rudeness and judgeness that she's putting on me and i dont like it at all, we've talked and she's saying its not judgement, its "understanding" even tho its not, ik its unrelated but eh wanted to throw that out)
@LuckyBlast1
ahh i see, im learning new things every day :)
hmmm... im not really sure what c++ or js is but i assume its like a technical thing?
im sorry to hear that you've been experiencing difficulties with your mother. i can imagine how frustrating that must've felt, she thinks that she's being caring and understanding to you, but it's causing more distress to you, even though she may not have meant it (i hope). i know you've tried to communicate with her of how you felt, and that's a really good approach to deal with it <3 maybe she's seeing things in her pov which seems reasonable to her. She sounds like someone that you can talk to (based on what you said) maybe just a bit more stubborn but maybe she hasn't seen things in your pov?
and its ok to tell me what you want :3, (ill be in school for 2 more hrs for my last lesson, so ill try to give more detailed answers later) <3
Hope you feel better <3
CozyCat :3
@CozyCat8507
c++ and js are programing languages, they're basically the things that process your code and help you write it (its like languages like croatian and english, for example the word for "yes" in croatian is "da", same thing with programing languages, if you want to write something that prints something else, in c++ you type "cout >> 'stuff you wanna write goes here' >> endl;", while in python, its just: "print (stuff you wanna write goes here)" )
while for my mom yea i kinda get it...
@LuckyBlast1
wait a minute, im getting deja vu, i think you've explained that to me before :3, does sound complicated to me, but im sure you mastered it <3
i know it can be hard on you when someone that is close to you is making it difficult to communcate with. (im not a mother but) i do believe that they instinctively would want to do what they think is best for you, but maybe its the best for them but in you pov might not be as we all need different things in our life (idk if i made any sense, but i hope it kinda does?)
CozyCat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea it does make a lot of sense, dw, but i still dont think it's nice to constantly keep pressuring me to do better, it gets hard real fast
also im kinda in an even bigger pickle rn cuz more bad stuff have went down but for you to understand em, i'd have to tell you most of my history of support after ya, and idk how much time do you rlly have
@LuckyBlast1
i can understand how stressful that must've been, its not nice of her to constantly do that, a little nudge could be encouraging, but too much could really bring someone down 🥺
it's okay, im free right now, you can share with me with whatever ur comfortable with 💛
CozyCat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea, exactly, that's what i also said, but then i pretty much got ignored and thrown under the rug.
anyways abt that thing that just kinda went down, my gf's going on a hiatus for a while (again) cuz she fears that smth that happened in the past (dont wanna say it here but on 1 on 1 will do) might repeat again, and its rlly rlly sad, cuz we both were helping and supporting each other out, she's the reason why i could've ended my ""love rations"" (as i called em at the time bc it was literally that, i didnt feel loved nor cared for by anyone and ik ppl say that but rare ones actually prove it)
and yea when it happened for the first time, i was talking to this one listener abt it, and she was like "aha, so you have dependance issues??" and to that i say "yea, ofc when i couldnt find it frm anywhere else" literally, everywhere i look its just hate, and now the biggest helper who literally can just help me with her preseance poofs away for a little while. so ofc this made me rlly upset, but eh, there's nothing rlly i can do abt it, i can just accept the situation and move on, accept the fact that this is a bad moment and that many might follow suit, tis time tho, with way less care love and understanding than before, so it means unmet needs and difficulty to just get by day-by-day
even tho she has promised to keep on msging me, it still won't rlly be the same, it'll be rare communication, but again, i survived that last time, so this time it wont rlly be that bad, it'll just be longer and rareer :<
@LuckyBlast1
oh no... 🥺 im so sorry, parents can be quite mean sometimes and not realising they hurt you (i hope she didnt mean it)
i see (if i may ask, im not sure of what does it mean of her being on a hiatus), it seems like she's been through rough times too, and its so sweet that you are supporting each other <3 and im glad you found her <3, i can understand why you felt that way before, it can be hard to believe that sometimes, but i know at some point there will be that person, your person, could be a best friend or lover or just any kind of relationship.
people can be quite judgmental sometimes, needing someone to depend on doesnt make us weak or okay to being judged, its totally ok to rely on someone, but we do need to find our own way as well with the help of someone. (yea you can tell me whenever and however you want <3), i can imagine how hard it must've been for you during those days, and it can become more difficult to handle things, but im here for you <3
i see, i hope you are able to find the support you need in the mean time 🥹, and im glad she is still messaging you, even though not as much, but i know you'll be in her mind because she cares a lot for you <3
CozyCat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea ik she still rlly does, but it'll be okayish i think
and btw her being on a hiatus means that she most likely wont be msging me due to busyness or restrictions frm her parents
oh and btw during those times, i felt extreme lonelyness and sadness, and i think i'll also be that way now too :/
also my mom gonna come home soon too, so im gonna be killed YET AGAIN, this just isnt my day
and yea i agree w you, and i see the light at the end, cuz what happens when we meet? everything will change and it'll become easier, so once again, this is just temporary sadness and lonelyness that will pass after sometime, i just gotta hold and keep myself busy, i just dont know wut should i do if im feeling extra sad one day, like that sadness where you just cant ignore it anymore, yk?
@LuckyBlast1
you can talk to me when you need <3
i see, (sorry curiosity got the best of be) can i ask if you are in the same school? you dont have to answer it if you dont want to
yea, i get that, being away from the person you love can be really hard. but what keeps you going is looking forward to see her again <3
it sounds to me that she creating distress for you, and that's not nice of her, she's your mother and i hope you can talk to her about your worries 🥺, i hope she will be able to make you feel heard <3
i know having a positive mindset can be hard right now, but just imagine the day you see her again, and that can be really motivating <3 and whenever you feel this sadness you can message me, i hope i am able to make you feel better <3 and you dont have to deal with it alone, sharing ur worries with someone is halving it as the saying goes. can i ask you how have you been coping with those feelings? if you'd like me to say, for me i like to journal, or maybe take walks in the park, and sometimes hang out with the squirrels :3
@CozyCat8507
yea, thx, idk when you'll respond tho, but you will eventually
well, its a long distance relationship, so we never saw one another irl, but we saw each other multiple times thru vids, pics and video calls
for me i have music, thats my best way to cope with my emotions, but i dont rlly have that much time to go out since hs and schoolwork is taking up most of my free time
(and i didnt tell you at first cuz there are a lot of prejudices ppl hold up with em, like when i told my friends abt her, their reaction was so bad i legit couldnt even speak a word back since i was in so much shock)
@LuckyBlast1
yea, i get it, yea it can be dangerous sometimes cause you dont know the person in real life, and i do hope you are safe, but being concerned for you doesnt have to hurt ur feelings, im sure they are just worried, but maybe just have a very strong opinion
@CozyCat8507 oopsies replied to the wrong message
@CozyCat8507
ik but like they were borderline racist and i hated it sm. but after sometime they got used to me being in a long distance relationship and they've actually realised that it's much harder to be in one than a normal relationship which is physically closer, but still tho, i think i will have road bumps but i dont think im rlly limited by time here. soon we'll be able to leave the forums and come back to normal chats again, and she'll come back fully (although im thinking that'll be like late december)
@LuckyBlast1
yea.. its a bit harder here cause i dont get notifications when you post and needa refresh to see it, but ill do my best :)
i see, i can imagine how the hiatus can be harder for online relationships as thats the only way of communication
yea. music does help to bring our moods up :3 i remember you sharing your music with me, and i think there was one thats quite optimistic (im not sure if you want me to share it here but i think you know which one im talking about), but you're working hard and i know ur efforts will pay off <3, but going outside can help boost moods because of the exposure to the sun (maybe not the blazing hot ones), you dont have to if you don have time
@CozyCat8507
oh yea i remember it, also i've made a playlist that only has one pourpose, comfort me, and now i might as well share it here
@LuckyBlast1
yea :3 that's nice to have something than an ease ur worries
@CozyCat8507
yea, but even tho i may try to consider everything as "okay, this'll be fine" there's still a part of my brain trying to convince me otherwise, trying to make me affraid mad and sad :/ and i hate that
@LuckyBlast1
that must really feel overwhelming, emotions can be really intense when you feel more than one at the same time, you dont have to force yourself to think its ok, try grounding yourself and make yourself feel safe first and it might be easier to feel better
@CozyCat8507
hmm well the problem with that is i dont know how to make myself feel safe, the playlist is only for extreme cases, while music if im very mad, im sad, unsafe and affraid, the very much opposite of feeling safe
the playlist: (if cups allows me to send it)
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLIP4U2XQzv9qaX8Hj-RNDgMyO1U6GWfQS&si=6hFdDx4vM5jRm4yo
@LuckyBlast1
awww its so nice, and the cats are so cute :3
@CozyCat8507
YES EXACTLY, gosh i rlly needed smth like that playlist before, and imma need it rn the most cuz i just need to hold on for a little while
@LuckyBlast1
i might steal your idea :3 (if i may) its so cute and really comforting too.
you're doing really well <3 you've had your ups and downs, but i can assure you that youre on the way to healing <3
@CozyCat8507
gosh you can steal any idea frm me, you have no idea how many ideas i've stolen frm you loll
and idkkkk i dont feel like i am, what ur saying here as "my way to healing" is just blank words to me that mean nothing
@LuckyBlast1
yayy, hmm... what did you steal from me? my fishie treats? 🥺
i know it feels like just words to you, but remember me saying that a few months ago? and look how much progress you've made in a short amount of time <3 im really proud of you, and it can be discouraging when new problems appear, but just as before, i believe in you can overcome it, you may just need a little help, and thats totally ok, im here to support you! #LuckyBlast1no1supporter (heh.. sorry if that was cringe 🙃)
@CozyCat8507
idkk ik i stole sth
well yea, also mary did unblock me too so communication is possible, but i aint risking it, nor does my gf want me to risk it too, she considers it a "waste of time and energy that'll just make me sad again" and tbh i agree with her on that for now
and dwww you can be cringe af here, you still havent met me irl to know how cringe i am there :]
@LuckyBlast1
🙃
yea, i do think communicating can really help relationships cause sometimes it can be as easy as saying what you feel can help solve misunderstanding/ conflict. but yea if there's a risk of you being hurt again, you dont have to force yourself to, just go at your own pace :)
awww, just silly people being silly together then :3
@CozyCat8507
you truly cant believe how silly i can be, like when i was reading a book for croatian class (we have to read one every month) we've had "the catcher in the rye, and so i got to the pros*itute part, where i literally just screamed: "BUDDY YOU DONT NEED WOMEN, YOU NEED THERAPYYY!!!"
@LuckyBlast1
ahahahahahhaha, i can imagine how fun classes are when youre in it 🙃
but sometimes the lit we need to read are kinda questionable tbh
@CozyCat8507
you can just imagine when the proffesors are making fun of themselfs and us too :)
like our pc building proffesor told us that he's gonna give us alcohol next class so that we can fix a pc, and he told us that we shouldn't quote him on the sentance "im gonna give you alcohol" but im doing that anyways :>
@LuckyBlast1
yea. they really do get into the questionable parts in detail heh...
what a jolly guy, i like :3 (heh dont come for me drinking is bad!!!)
btw would you like to start a new thread, its getting kinda cramped :3
@CozyCat8507
sure im up for it!!
@LuckyBlast1
made it
:3
@CozyCat8507
also yea i forgor i got a gf i can finally use ":3" too
:3
@LuckyBlast1
oh wait, does :3 mean that you have a partner? i didnt know that...
@CozyCat8507
nahh it just means you're zesty, that's all
but yea me and one of my friends turned zesty after we got our partners :3
also i wounder, whats it like being 18 and in uni? my brother is in one too and he basically got freed of one class just cuz he knows everythin abt it frm high school (heh told you my hs has high standards :3)
@LuckyBlast1
ahhh i didnt know that, i just thought it looked somewhat like a cat heh... :3
i see, well im really happy that you found your person <3
well its very different from high school and learning, teaching styles are very different, its more self dependant i would say, like you have to prepare for lectures and seminars in your own time and with the profs is mostly gaining more insight than learning like in high school. like for my uni we take attendance so theyll know if you escaped or like get let out early sometimes tho
but ur brother does sound really smart :)
@CozyCat8507
oh he is dww, but just that he submits to our parents makes it a little hard but eh, other than that he's a rlly good older brother
andd many of my hs proffesors also are teaching in uni's so sometimes we get classes where no one takes notes cuz we dont have to, BUT THEN THAT THING APPEARS ON THE TEST AND WE KNOW WE COOKED
also i had 4 seminars at the start of the school year :>
soo yea, the only thing i envy abt him is collage food and tuition. here tuition is 20 euros per year and food? you can get a whole lunch for 1 euro!!!! A WHOLE LUNCH FOR JUST 1 EURO??? gosh i want datttt
@LuckyBlast1
yea, sometimes parents pressure does make their children work harder, but i can be quite tiring constantly trying to impress them. but im glad hes good to you :)
OH NOOOO, i know that feeling... :( in one of my chem exams there was one big question on an oddly specific element that my teacher barely mention :(
oooh i hope they went well <3
whatttt?!!! thats not fair, his whole year is only for one day of meal for me... heh, i guess hes having a great time in uni :3
@CozyCat8507
wait wut are you studying exactly?
im on my first option (which is computer engeneering) rn, while my brother is on computer science :>
and you can say they went well since now i know a lot of stuff abt pc building, even my proffessor told me he'd unirronically buy himself the pc components i suggested bc they were soo good :>
agreed, its not fair, i wanna have it too >:(
but yea he prolly is, plus he went to Zagreb with his buddies before uni started :3
@LuckyBlast1
hehe... i do smth very cool (nah... its just music and film studies :3)
oh so you do kinda similar things :) i bet he helps you with school sometimes, or... LuckyBlast1 is too smart and can conquer any hard question :)
that's amazing to hear that youre doing smth you love <3 he must commit a lot to his students if he did, such a nice person :)
oooh he must've had a lot of fun :3
@CozyCat8507
ooo that's nice!!
ugh why do you have the same conclusion as everyone i meet loll, they all think im some smart boi, even my gf says that a bunch when im just a normal guy loll
yea i am, but there are a few booring things in the first year, like safety on the workplace
@LuckyBlast1
:3
well, you are doing computer engineering, and the average person would think its very difficult (or maybe its just me :3) but you are smart <3
ah yea the induction things, yes its kinda boring but important too tho
@CozyCat8507
anyone can study anything if they have the will to study it
@LuckyBlast1
yeaa <3 i agree, it all comes to hard work and dedication :3
@CozyCat8507
also how do i tell my friends who are visiting the UK soon that if they wanna charge their phones they need adapters to do it? and btw they're visiting london (cuz britian and the USA have a different electricity frequency than the rest of europe if you didnt know)
@LuckyBlast1
ah yes, umm maybe just show them a pic and say that the plugs shapes are different, cause if they dont have it they cant charge anything, and send them a link? i dont really know any good ones cause i dont need to use it, maybe read the reviews?
@CozyCat8507
nvm i'll just explain to em, cuz they showed us that on the first week of school in electrotehnics loll
@LuckyBlast1
ahhh i see i see, yea theyll definitely need it
@CozyCat8507
i presume its your bedtime? hope you have sweet dreams and talk to you later then :3
@CozyCat8507
plus yea he's 19, he has a drivers license and he sometimes even drives me home :>
@LuckyBlast1
that's nice :3 im happy to hear that you have a good relationship with him :)
@CozyCat8507
anyways it was nice chatting with you thru this storm, i need to get some sleep now, goodnighttt
@LuckyBlast1
im glad that you feel heard here, and ill be here for you <3
@CozyCat8507
cat, this has nothin to do with ur msg but imma say it anyway, im affraid that in the future i'll just have more breakdowns and all the progress i've made will be for nothing :<
@CozyCat8507
quick update: we've found a middle line of communication which can still serve both of us, plus she gave me the best thing you can give me when im not feeling too well, reassurance, and she told me why she was doing it, and it made it wayyy easier to accept it, sooo overall, today was a rlly rlly rlly good day
@LuckyBlast1
im so happy to hear that, and its really comforting to know that you have someone to support you along the way <3
@CozyCat8507
well yea i do, i also during ur break have been talking to manyyyyy ppl, and most of em left but eh they were horrible listeners as you may have known, but there were also ppl who stayed, not only my gf, but also other listeners from other countries, so i do tehnically have a diverse support web of ppl willing to help me out, and now when you come back to 1 on 1, i dont think i'll rlly have any problems i'd need to fight on alone about. it rlly feels like shadow fighting and fighting alone is a thing of the past now :3
and im so glad to have ppl like you and others in my life, thank you <3
@LuckyBlast1
(sorry i didnt see this earlier)
i understand why you may feel this uncertainty, break downs can feel really intense and your mind is racing and making you doubt things. but ur progress wont be for nothing, breakdowns wont erase all the things you've achieve, it could be just that things are too overwhelming for you to handle and your body is reacting to the stress. it can be really scary to think that everything you've worked for would go to waste, but the things you manage to do will always we here, its in the same timeline and even though lets say maybe there were some steps taken back, but there are still the footprints of the setps ahead that you have taken (idk if that makes sense), what i mean to say is the effort you've put in will not be in vain, progress isnt one straight line, i can be ups and downs, but i can tell you for sure that it will be going to the direction you are aiming for <3
CozyCat :3
@CozyCat8507
oops was meant to reply to the previous one
@CozyCat8507
nahh, no worriess
@CozyCat8507
well yea, thats true, i get all of that. i have the "blueprints" on how to proceede forward whenever i take a step back, i have those previous experiances to guide me forward so yea i get what ur saying
@LuckyBlast1
yea :) our past experiences is what makes us stronger as we learn from them <3
you've been through a lot and was able to over come the obstacles life throws at you, and im really proud of how far you've come along <3
@CozyCat8507
yea, but rn im on a friends birthday loll, cant rlly talk
@LuckyBlast1
ah that's ok, you dont have to reply immediately :3 happy birthday to them :)
@CozyCat8507
yea im very tired rn, i'd love to have a chat rn
im home btw
@LuckyBlast1
hope you have a lovely rest :3
@CozyCat8507
nvm i'll go to sleep now, im rlly rlly affraid bcs of tomorrow cuz i have 2 tests in one day, one is just coding (not that hard) while the other is literally building a PC physically with alcohol and im fcked there
@LuckyBlast1
good luck! i know ull smash it<3 sleep well :3
@CozyCat8507
well, programing was easy, while pc building was easier than expected. the proffesor showed us how to do it and then we replicated it onto a different pc, so we kinda aced pc building while programing, ehh somewhat
@CozyCat8507
while im rlly rlly worried abt everything rn so yee, fighting against dat
@LuckyBlast1
i understand how overwhelming things can be, but its good to have things to ground us and help calm us down :3 take your time to clear your mind and things might be easier <3
i hope you are feeling better <3
@CozyCat8507
im feeling a TON betterr, like you can thank my gf for that :3
@LuckyBlast1
awwwwww, im glad you're feeling better <3 hope you had a nice day :3
@CozyCat8507
well im now not rlly feeling the best but okiii
like my moods change so often i cant
@LuckyBlast1
oh no... im sorry to hear that. emotions can be tricky to handle, i know it can be one moment you feel over the moon and the second down in the dumps... you can talk to me if you need, sometimes just chatting about it can help relieve some tension in ur body and mind <3
@CozyCat8507
i rlly appreciate how we can chat, but it literally does nothing when we both are busy, how abt we set a schedule for our next chat here? when would you be free?
@LuckyBlast1
im glad you can feel heard here <3
hmmm.... nowadays im free mostly after 9/10 pm here but it might be kinda late for you tho... how about friday night? i finish slightly early if that's ok for you? :3
@CozyCat8507
fridays arent rlly good for meh, but *** we'll stick to 9/10 pm
@CozyCat8507
also i dont think i'll rlly be available till then cuz i got a ton of stuff for the rest of the week, so i gotta wake up a lil early, BUT i might as well use this moment to tell you a bit of an extended version on how it was for meh while you were gonee
so immediatly after, i had to search up for more listeners, and then i've found another nice and cool one, but she still didnt return, bc everyone's rlly busy as of now.
then i started sliding into dms of pretty much everyone with barely any sucsess, frustrated, i made a post abt how there was no support being done on this platform (the one that went viral and that you commented on) and i got a ton of listeners who listen to adults only, or other listeners that i've reached out to after they messaged on the forum post, but they mostly neglected my needs and swept everything under the rug.
but a listener i've talked to before, after she saw what i wrote, her perspective compleatly changed, and she reached out to me, and she was a constant, consistent listener ever since, and a shining example of what a listener should be doing, and not just "meh i'll listen and the problem will sort itself".
then i found out i was developing a dependance solely on one listener, which is rlly bad, so i start slidding into DMs more, make another forum post later and then i got this one rlly rude comment from somebody that claims to be a "listener" which no matter how hard i try, i never could forget it. it was about how i was "spitting at charity" because i was asking if they could be more compasionate and thoughtful towards my needs and not just go "uh yea im listening dwwww", that thingy didnt rlly go viral but it left an impact for me, bc whatever went through that guys head while writting needs to be studied. thankfully tho, it was resolvedd.
then a new listener pooped up and i chatted with her too, at the end of the day, we moved communication onto *** and we've developed an online friendship, which seems dangerous according to cups, cuz you cant go off site (that's why they block mentioning social medias and such), there are dangers, sure, but there are also net positives, such *** i rlly needed sb to be genuene and i can get that thru other medias that allow that, not cups which strictly states that listeners should always follow a certain protocol.
anyways i still chat w her to this day. during that time, i was running exhausted from so much love rations that i was having mental breakdowns almost everyday, but my peace was about to come with the final listener, and you'll hear more abt her on 1 on 1 :3
anywaysss, goodnight catt
@CozyCat8507
i've just had prolly the busiest days ever for me, just prep for tomorrow and the rest of the week, so im grounded up with work, and some extra stuff happened that cause me a lil distress but since i saw others are also reading this, *** its better that i share it on 1 on 1
hey @LuckyBlast1 :3
im not sure if i missed any of your messages (hope not) but just wanna check if you're ok? we were supposed to have our chat around this time? but its ok, you might be busy :3 hope you're had a nice day<3