Message to my members after aging up
Hello my lovely members! I've turned 18 yesterday (yippee)🙃. A lot has happened and changed yesterday, and the main this is, I'm an adult now! :)
I have to apologise that because of that reason, we may not be able to be in touch for sometime now (well that is until you turn 18). It was my mistake for not being aware of that and wasn't able to let you know in advance 🥺. I'm sorry our last conversations were not that conclusive, as I was expecting to say our temporary goodbyes before my break. Again I apologise for disappearing like that. And thank you for your understanding!
I really enjoyed our chats together, and thank you for your kind words. I'll definitely cherish our time spent together
I want to let you know that I'll still be here for you 💛 even though we may not be able to communicate like how we used to, I hope we are able to reconnect here 💛. I wish you all the best in your journey to healing 💕
Lots of love
Cozycat :3
(I hope I could give you a hug, well... a virtual and mental one if you're accepting of it)
My dear members:
I hope this message reaches you <3
(I still have a lot to say but I hope this can express my thoughts <3)
@CozyCat8507
Happy Birthday!!
Perhaps you'll reconnect with a few friends when they age up as well. In the meantime, I suspect you'll find a lot of good people to connect with here.
@Spiritriver
Thank you very much! I'm posting here hoping to let them know, because I wasn't aware that will happen and to them it might seem like I just disappeared out of nowhere. So I was hoping to have a nice closure (hmm I don't know if that's the right word, but something like that) as these are the members that I've connected with for a while now. But yea I agree at the moment, the best solution is to reconnect when they're on the adult side of cups :) But yea, thank you for replying to my post <3
Cozycat
@CozyCat8507 Happy Birthday to you!
Glad you found us here and made a request to the TTM Teen Transition Mentor Team!
There is so much fun to be had here but I am sorry you didn't get more notice of what would happen, we will work on that.
@MistyMagic
Thank you so much for your support! Yea... I wish I was aware about this, but that's alright :) I do look forward to explore the adult side has in store for me! 🙃
Cozycat :3
well, firstly happy birthday! and your "appology" is accepted by me ofc. i don't think its really an appology since it's a 7 cups thing plus you generally weren't aware of it (as you've stated). also yea we can continue our chats here, or if (as you've mentioned) apply for adult-teen thingy, forgot what it was called, but still you've mentioned it in the message.
i wish you good luck and best wishes on your exams and future career! and i also have to say that i thought you closed your account since you were mentioning something like that and reading this just made my day :], so again ty and hopefully we can continue it here, wishing you the best!
@LuckyBlast1
Thank you so much for your understanding LuckyBlast1 <3 Yea we could chat here :) (if you're that it's gonna be public) and I'm considering to apply to become an Adult-Teen Listener after my exams (cause there's still a bit for me to do to reach the requirements), I'll let you know in my bio and here when I've succeeded 😊 and we can have our chats again like how we used too 💛 (but maybe after exams, gotta lock in you know 🙃)
And yea, I figured that you would think that, but I won't just leave without saying something. Ok so I'll make it clear that I'm officially taking my break starting on Monday so I might close my account and will be back hopefuly in mid July (cause the process of becoming ATL might take sometime after all the stuff)
Thank you for your encouragements 💛, I wish you the same as well and good health <3 also I hope your journey in finding your peace goes smoothly :)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
welll, for now it's quite okayy. i've got my ups and downs for sure but i wouldn't want to make them public. and i do think you'll succeed since, well, just look at this. you've been helping out for (to me) what feels like ages. and it's very rare to find a listener who's not only willing to listen and help, but also give you a feeling of that you're talking to a human being rather than a robot. i kinda feel like i need that kind of listening, so if i ever become a listener (hopefully when everything's quiet) i definetly will try to make the same space as you did for me. i'm very grateful that you were here for me, and now i'd need to go back to studying too. since may's horrible for students.
gl to you and i'll be working tirelesly trying to find a solution to it. (well, the doctoraine is that you can't achieve good with bad things, but yk that former friend, she'll prob continue doing that on me and prob even worse things, but yeaa nothing i could rlly do about it sadly)
@LuckyBlast1
You're doing well 😊 and yea we have our own struggles, and you won't want to share it with everyone.
And thank you (again) for your encouragement and kind words. I'm really happy to hear that I was able to make a difference (even though I may not have the solutions but I hope I did make you feel better) and your complement means a lot to me 💛 cause I'm also learning how to be a better listener and person overall. And I'm glad that you feel like I was able to make you feel heard and cozy (most importantly). And becoming a listener is a great idea, (well of course when you feel like you're ready) and I appreciate your enthusiasm in helping people <3
Yea, we'll work hard together <3 and ace our exams (and also find a way through this)
(so keeping it vague) I'm sorry to hear that it's still continuing and might increase, I hope you're able to find support in the mean time. I'll be here for you, even I'm not on cups for a while. But I look forward to have our chats :)
(sorry my replies here take a longer time, I needa check for typos and all that, you know me, not very good with the keyboard🙃)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
well the only thing we need to do is study hard. and didn't i saw one sentance like enough times already? i appreciate all kinds of support, wheather it's for 1 second or 1 year, i appreciate any kind of support. and all of it is appreciated, so don't be concerened about slow replies, i'll answer, no worries! for the support, i'm trying to but still it sadly will take some more time to find good listeners, but i'll hopefully find them. also i need to say that solutions aren't what i'm looking for, if i was looking for answers i'd never find peace, because i'd probably blaime other people rather than myself for mistakes in my own life.
i'm also trying to be as best as i could since taking all of her actions and still not doing anything terrible is harder and harder with each passing day, but i'll do my best to keep my wild self contained. since it's got to the point where i literally have to tell myself "bad! shoo! not on the carpet!" (ofc i'm kidding with the quotation marks, but sadly it is somewhat like that)
and the saddest thing is that still most listeners just would ignore my request for help outright, so i still will be looking for help as long as i've got the will and the mindset of not giving up over here on this app
@LuckyBlast1
Yea it's a pretty big part of our lives at this age. But yea thank you so much for your understanding <3 I do hope you'll be able to find your peace, and I get it, sometimes we might want someone else to take the blame for not nice things happening to us. But we're growing and learning to own up to them, and that's really good improvement when we make mistakes :)
I admire your self control and awareness, you're doing well to keep stay calm and choose the most optimal option for yourself :) (not really related but your 'quote' kinda sound like how I talk to my cats 🙃)
But don't worry, yea some might not be willing to accept your request (maybe because of personal reasons), but I'm sure there are a lot of people that will be more than happy to support you :)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea that's why i kinda switched to that mindset.
i took that quote from Jaidenanimations channel if someone's woundering where it's coming from, it is funny and it is relatable so that's why i'm using it despite it being said years ago and mentioned years ago.
look, if it was "some" then i wouldn't have the problem of the lack of support, since it is most of the listeners i reach out to. and the ones that do accept? well they ussualy quit in the middle of the chat or just make me feel like i'm talking to chatgpt or some bs. that's not quallity listening, that just feels so robotic and automated, we humans have 1 thing robots will never have, and that's understanding, if you're not willing to understand another human being then you're a selfish person who cares only about himself. sadly a lot of people are like that, even here. that's why i'm so grateful that you were an outcast and for that i could respect you
@LuckyBlast1
Yea I think so too :)
Oh, that's a really good way to say that. Yea, robots can't understand feelings, and I'm happy to hear that you feel that way 💛 I really do try my best to understand and provide a safe space for members here :) and you were also understanding of me too, so it goes both ways in a conversation :)
Cozycat :3
@Cozycat8507
i recognize and see your effort, and i was a whitness to it, and i'm very glad that it was like that way. i was understanding because i believe that we all humans should help and support one another and thus deastroy evil within this world, sadly people aren't doing that, but atleast we two could've seen how that world might look. and for anyone asking, it's way better than this one. since helping one another is what we're supposed to do
@LuckyBlast1
Thank you <3
I agree with you, but yea remember the not very comprehensible thing I said before about "if all the bad things are gone, the good things left will have different intensity of goodness, and so the not that good things may seem bad and there will good and bad again" (wait a minute I could've said it like that, hmmm maybe I've gained wisdom after aging into a senior cat🙃)
(I'll have to lock in in a bit so I'll reply to the last messages and we can continue later, and I'll post here to say when I'm going to take a break)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
no problem
yea i do, but it was way better thannthe world of hate we live in? also for gaining wisdom idkk, my brother who's 19, when he became 18 he gained 0 wisdom so idk if it's only the cats or the humans that gain wisdom from age????
yeaa, understood. i'll also have to go soon
@CozyCat8507
no problem
yea i do, but it was way better thannthe world of hate we live in? also for gaining wisdom idkk, my brother who's 19, when he became 18 he gained 0 wisdom so idk if it's only the cats or the humans that gain wisdom from age????
yeaa, understood. i'll also have to go soon
@LuckyBlast1
Yea, I agree, unfortunately negativity is very common, but we could spread positivity <3
Hmm, yea maybe it's just different for everyone, we will have moments of gaining wisdom at different stages of life and it's ok no matter what age. (but I guess maybe cats, cause me in real life, I wish to gain the wisdom for my subjects 🥺)
But yea, we'll catch up later :)
Cozycat :3
also i'd wanna mention that we all are humans and we all make mistakes, and i personally believe that we shouldn't hide that fact. mistakes are a part of life and we just have to live with them, it's our reaction to them that shapes exactly how as a person we are. also thee are FAR worse things people can do other than simply disappear just because they weren't aware of the applications settings. so i'm very glad that you're back and again (prolly for the last time since i'm repeating myself a lot, but I REALLY MEAN IT) wishin you the best
@LuckyBlast1
Yea I agree, we humans aren't perfect, but that what makes us humans 🙃. And we can learn from our mistakes and improve from then on.
But yea, I'm happy to hear that you feel glad that I'm back, I really appreciate it <3
Oh and I have to add (for my previous reply), I can't guarantee that I may be able to apply for ATL before that time, but that's what I'm planning at the moment, if there are changes (because of school stuff or family) I'll let you know either here or my bio.
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
do you mean before exams? well, whatever happens i'll survive regardlesly and still try to do my best (yk me) so i'll try to reach out to other listeners too! (dw i was talking to other listeners even before you were of age) even tho that may not bring in the same affect as your chats, they still will help, no worries! everything will prob be fine with me (hopefully)
@LuckyBlast1
Ah I meant, I'm considering to apply for ATL after my exams (which is my ideal time), but just in case maybe it might be later, but on cups I'll be back around that time so we can catch up here if you wish :)
Thank you for your reassurance (and you flatter me too much 🙃, but I really do appreciate it)
I wish you all the best LuckyBlast1 and I believe in you, you can do it 💛
Cozycat :3
(I know I don't have to sign my name every time but idk, there's something satisfying about it)
@CozyCat8507
alrighty, just wanted to confirm.
if you wish for me to stop my reassurance, just tell me.
imma be honnest, that almost made me tear up for a sec, ty
like if you wish to sign your name everywhere here, i'm not stopping you from doing that. do whatevr you feel is right (and satisfying ofcc)
@LuckyBlast1
(sorry my messages seem unrelated, but it's to each line)
I'll let you know some way, as mentioned my bio or/and here.
ah no, I don't mind you showering me with praises (why not 🙃)
awww, don't shed a tear (or tears) everyone deserves to feel heard <3 and your very welcome, I hope you feel cozy when we chat :)
hmm... yea! I'll sign my name everywhere. (idk why is that satisfying)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
i can take track of every message, so don't worry
alr perfect
okayyy, i'm like pretty open minded on it, so if i think that someone's good, i don't rlly mind saying that to em, but if it's the opposite it might be considered rude so i prefer not to rlly say bad things online and focus on the positive (for now i have 0 coplains abt you, so no worries)
wellll, not everyone believes in that sadly, and yea i do feel very cozy. if i wasn't i wouldn't be coming back
@LuckyBlast1
It's good to be honest (well maybe not too to prevent hurting people's feelings). And I'm glad to hear that you're happy with me :)
Yea, that may be true, but those are just not 'our people' and that's okay. And we can feel cozy together! 🙃 (I think I'm overusing my branding of 'cozy')
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
I agree with that
that's true, we all are different, yet still somehow the same. and yea you kind of are, but hey do whatevr who am i to tell you to stop doing something? (it doesn't rlly bother me so you can overuse it)
@LuckyBlast1
Definitely, we experience very different things so they way we think can be quite conflicting even though we are all human.
yay... but yea, I shouldn't over use it, maybe just in special occasions :)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea, because we come from different backgrounds
do whatevr you like since i don't mind
@LuckyBlast1
🙃
also i'd love to mention that i'll prob fix all of my problems 3 years from now (atleast i'm looking forward to it, i'm not sayin i'm putting a timeframe on my journey to healing, all i'm saying is that i think it'll be done in 3 years), so sadly don't expect me to come back to this app and talk to you again through normal messages if things stay the same (they probably won't tho). Also i just want to say that i'm not going to be shary as much as before, because, well, other people can look here, and i believe it's not really their buisness to be looking at the details of my life (sorry), so any story that i do share here is going to be grosly oversimplified. which means the listening experiance will be very different cuz simply sharing more is usually better, but the situations just like that and there's nothing i can do, so sucks to suck
@LuckyBlast1
I'm really happy to hear your that you are on your way to healing <3 I'm looking forward to it too 😊 and don't worry, your journey might take some time or be very speedy, it's ok to be at your own pace, slowly but surely I hope you'll feel better <3
It's ok, I'm not expecting you to constantly message be about what's going on, but I'm here for you and to maybe bring you some comfort :)
And yea, it's totally understandable that you won't want people to know too much about you, but I hope we could still have our chats here for the meantime <3
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
i mean we can have our conversations but they can't be high quality as before and they'll be very different but we still can have them. so sadly there'll be different but yeaaa there's nothin i can rlly do abt it so why worry?
@LuckyBlast1
Yea... I know, it's quite. Well at least we are still able to stay in touch. I hope I'll be able to provide a solution to the best I can <3
I'll let you know here again when I'm taking my break so that won't happen again.
Gook luck in your exams and everything 💛
Cozycat :3
(hehe...🙃)
@CozyCat8507
no need for a sollution, yk what i need instead, just look at what i've written here.
also ty, same with you (also why are we like wishing good luck to each other for more than one time? feels a little weird ngl)
@LuckyBlast1
Yea, I know, but I hope everything goes well 💛
yea, I think we are repeating ourselves cause we're replying to separate posts.
But one last time (for sure, I think) I hope you are able to find the support you need and I'll still be here for you 💛 (mentally during my break, but after we can chat here again)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
we are lol
time will only tell what'll really happen to me, but 7 cups isn't really ideal for the support i'd need, since i desire human connection rather than just throwing words out a million times without meaning them, like:
"hopefully you can be better!1!1!1" (again, my point is i desire myself more as an option and not as a requirement for everyone so all of my friends would be genuene and my help online would also be genuene so i know that when people say that, they actually mean nice things)
@LuckyBlast1
I agree, even though on here we only see words for comfort, without an actual person next to us to provide non verbal comfort. I hope it helps that when you type it out, it can help you get you emotions out? Or maybe it might not have that effect, but it's nice to see encouraging messages :)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
everything helps. it just depends on what type of person you are. for me the biggest thing that helped was the "actual person" part. for some it may be different but that's okay. also i'll need to shower rn so sorry if i don't respond quickly
@LuckyBlast1
Yea, I think so too, just the thought that it's an actual person is comforting :)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea, but also how do you always get me? like no listener ever does get me always. i'd love for you to answer that
@LuckyBlast1
Hmm, cause we are the same species, a human with feelings? (hmm but they are too.. hmm...hmm...🙃)
@CozyCat8507
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THAT ANSWER LMFAO
also why did that "(hehe)" made me laugh so hard? is my humor broken?
@LuckyBlast1
I'm glad I was able to bring you laughter :)
Cozycatn :3
@CozyCat8507
thanks, also btw were these the kind of chat you were missing? cuz i gotta say if i've had these things daily, i'd guranteed be better by the 13th of June, but sadlyy people are people and i can't do anything to change it. i wounder if i'll be able to find more support here, since i just got ghosted again by another listener (dw it's like daytime for them)
@LuckyBlast1
Hmm you mean like slightly funny ones? Well I look into the situation first, then decide when to be goofy 🙃
But I'm sure there's a lot of people here that will be able to support you, or hopefully people in real life too <3
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
if i had support in real life, i wouldn't be on here. since again, Croatia's a third world country, so it is it's people. how do you expect a racist to help me out? for over here, i'll try but it'll be hardd sadly
@LuckyBlast1
I understand what you mean, but the world is changing (hopefully for the better) and I'm sure that there's at least someone that will be able to support you <3 Maybe you just haven't met them yet :)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea, an example could be you but still you don't have the ability to support me now. plus a support system can't be held by 1 person. and yea i prob haven't met them, but it's also true that i'm loosing faith
@LuckyBlast1
aww 💛, yea, unfortunately at the moment not that much... And get why you are feeling like that, it's ok to feel discouraged, but just know that maybe (just maybe) people might not believe in you or support you the way you might need at the moment. But be your no. 1 fan! believe in yourself 💛
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
well, easier said that done sadly. i do take self care and do activities that bring me joy, but a vital part of the journey is the support from the outside too. with that support the process could be sped up by a LOT. although i don't depend on that kind of support, it still can do a lot of the actual hard work
@LuckyBlast1
That's good to hear that you have activities that could put your mind at ease :) And I agree yea support from other people can be helpful, but the most effective one is self care as you said <3 but yea, I know it takes quite a lot of effort, you can do it! 😊
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
Yeaa, but still with the help of others it becomes easier. there's a song that illustrates this and it's a childrens one called "when the small hands come together" basically going for when we all unite it becomes easier (like anything)
@LuckyBlast1
Yea, I understand, having people that support us will definitely be easier.
hmmm, I haven't heard of this song before (tried to search it up but can't find it). But anyways, by just the title of the song, and how you described, I'm sure that I can assume that the message is really thoughtful? And I do have to agree, like sharing with someone (even though they might not help the situation) but as the saying something like 'A problem shared is a problem halved' :)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
if you're looking for the link, here it is https://youtu.be/LwBWebI8CsY?feature=shared
there's no english subtitles but you basically know what the song is about. and the kids are on a train because of the famous book and film "Vlak u snijegu" which is a croatian novel basically
@LuckyBlast1
Ah, I see, it's a nice song indeed :) But yea, I can't understand it 🙃
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea it is true, but i'd wanna mention the line "when small hands come together, that's when our strenght gets multiplied by a 100, and that means we're stronger when we come together!"
basically the entire point of the song and my entire point
@LuckyBlast1
Oooh yea, like a colony of ants working together to bring a big chunk of food back to their nest for everyone to have to survive :)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea, exactly. but i'd preffer the orchestra example. everyone has to work together perfectly just for the tune to be good. that's what i imagine 7 cups and all the help i've been getting. except that "orchestra" is mostly empty
@LuckyBlast1
Oooh yea, I like that one more :)
But yea, I understand your feeling of the "orchestra" is being mostly empty. But at least there are people that will be here to play a beautiful melody 💛
Cozycat :3
@CoyzyCat8507
Hopefully I've given you a good amount of help that would be similar to what you've given me. Since without it, I feel kinda guilty. So again, I wish to fully thank you for your work and I sincerely hope that we can continue our chats!
@LuckyBlast1
I really enjoy our chats, so don't worry about it :) and I also hope we could continue our chats, at the moment the easiest way (or also the hardest?) is when you've been transferred to the adult side of cups. But in the mean time, we can still chat here or rooms (yea I know it won't be the same, but hope this is ok)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
well that'd be the hardest since i just turned 15 like a month ago, so if you're willing to wait 3 years, sure!!!!!
@CozyCat8507
also sorry for not answering but it's not really the same, since i need to be careful of the info i send here and on rooms too! so if you wish way less info to be given and the chats to be way less strong, then we do it like we do now.
So if you apply for the adult-teen listenership that'll be great since it could return everything and i could finally share more again. it's been 4 days and i could talk abt her attacks privatly, but i don't want that info to be out publically yet, you get me?
@LuckyBlast1
(I'm replying to both messages)
Yea, well assuming we're both still around, we can reconnect :)
I totally understand, you don't have to share it here. Like becoming ATL is obviously the best solution, and I'm considering it. But now realising there are some concerns in the application and I'll have to discuss it with my parents first, but hopefully.
At the moment, we can still chat here (I know it's not ideal). And we can continue it after my exams :)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
we can but this is kinda trashy, since i can't rlly open up as much, and searching for a good listener is not doing well and thus i'm trying but others aren't really doing their part. it's disapointing and discouraging. also yea ik you could make it since, well, you're already listening to a teen as an adult, that's all proof there is that yes you can make it. after the exams yeaa but again more things will happen and i don't want to share a good 90% of things that go down to everyone. sooo if things do stay like that the only support i'll really have will be just myself
@LuckyBlast1
Yea, it's not that ideal to share your personal life here.
I know it can be hard to find people that you can connect well with, it does take some time and effort :) But you are doing the best you could, and that's all that matters 💛 It's understandable why you feel discouraged and disappointed.
Thank you for your encouragement :), but yea we'll have to see, after all the stuff. I don't want to make any empty promises saying that I'll definitely become and ATL right after my exams (well cause as mentioned before, there are some concerns with applying for it and parents). But, maybe after learning more about it in detail, it can help with my decision. :)
It's understandable that now it seems like there's no other option. But I'm sure there are listeners that you will be able to connect like how you did with me, and I want you to know you are not alone in this 💛 there are other forums here that you can chat to :) But for the mean time I'll be here, in this thread (but maybe my response time will be slower)
I hope it goes well for you though <3 and (in my break) I'll be there for you spiritually 🙃
(I think I'm repeating myself, but.. oh well🙃)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
ohhh i wish it was like that. i was connecting with atleast 6 listeners an hour today, and guess how many were even oppening my chat? not a lot. guess how many did actually help me and not leave me? NO ONE! you're sure, but it practice sadly no one wants a strong burden as mine, not even other members! i'm trying my best to control myself but it's simply impossible, i need help but i'm not getting it
@LuckyBlast1
I'm sorry to hear that is what's happening to you. I feel your frustration, and I can see that you're doing everything you can to seek for help. And I'm proud of you for that <3 You are not a burden, you are just someone who's been hurt and in the process of healing. It's hard, while the wound is fresh, and the rejection just feels like a wound in salt and might seem like healing maybe impossible. But it takes time, and different paces for everyone, and it's ok to go at your own speed. Try to find something that can be your 'bandage', it could be anything, like your music, but it may not be like a magical elixir that you just miraculously heal from it. But it will happen, slowly, but surely. 😊
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
sadly that's whats been going on, but the bandage wasmusic and support from here, but now when i did lose 1 of those things and the presure intensified you can see exactly what's going on
@LuckyBlast1
I understand, it's like now a wound is exposed with out the protection it needs.🥺
I hope you'll be able to have the other half of your bandage soon, and I'll be back from my break and we can continue our chats :) (well but that will be some time...)
I hope everything goes well for you 💛 (well at this state I understand that it's not really, but hopefully it will change for the better <3)
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
I'm working day and night trying to change stuff but it's not doing it. the change has to come from the outside, and not my work. since if it would come from my work, it'd already come. anyways i gtg now.
wishing you the best on your exams!
@LuckyBlast1
I feel your frustration. You're working really hard it seems like other people aren't putting as much effort as you hoped. But yea, sadly we can only control our own actions, for other people, it's really up to them. But your efforts will pay off 😊, even though at this moment, it seems like it's never coming, but it just takes time, I know you can do it 💛! And I'm not just saying that, but also getting to know you, I feel like you are stronger than you think you are. Believe in yourself <3
And thank you, I'll work hard in my break and hope to bring good news after 😊
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
Wanna have our final chat until julyish?
@LuckyBlast1
Ah I mean that I won't be here to reply to messages starting from tmr. But I won't deactivate my account for a bit, cause I still need to get verified.
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
okayy, do as you wish!
@CozyCat8507
i'm slowly loosing my self control, i literally can't take all of this anymore, and i don't want to share it. yk what, I'LL SHARE IT.
So what was happening? remember that autistic friend, well she sucsesfully manipulated him and she has started controling him against me in her favour, so that he eighter spies on my chats with my friends or straight up attacks me verbally for no reason. I CAN'T TAKE THAT BS ANYMORE! Holding my self control is impossible it's literally impossible i can't do it, i simply don't have the ability. I'll have to activate the "circus of the dead" (nothin special, just those people who literally won me my previous conflict, imma call em in and sadly there is no peace without war. i tried to be nice, i tried to repair relations, but her ignorance for my effort for peace has caused me to go insanee. also for the lack of support here has also contributed a lot towards my decision to stop my self control. since if i won't be gaining support from here and no peace in real life, it's time to stop being kind, i've had enough.
A lot of people in real support her cause because she was loud in her thinking, and she didn't show them what i've been doing after it all fell apart. so i've had enough from this app and her. my patience with peace achieved in a good way is over, she has nothing but evil, and ik evil + evil ≠ good, but idc. i've tried and i couldn't reach it.
Yes we're going back to the 5th grade, she's no better than Nico, she's no better than Hi tler. Just trying to appease her was impossible so i'll have to bring out my strenght. i've made ideas, i just need the code.
those ideas are:
non stop calls, 24/7
spam messages 24/7
contacting *** abt her actions, thus getting her banned
spreading my actual story
getting back to my people who've won before, they'll help me program and achieve all of these things
dw the "machiene" is up and running soon, i went insane yea but i'll have to do that in order to protect myself from further attacks. while the people here have ignored me multiple times, there's no hope for peace anymore.
I've tried my best, but holding on for this long to just notgo crazy is impossible. Call me bad, that's cuz ik it's a devils decision, but i just can't anymore no support from here, nor irl. getting backstabbed by more and more friends, it's not for a human to experiance
@LuckyBlast1
I hear how much pain and frustration you’re in right now, and I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way🥺. It's completely understandable the way you feel betrayed, manipulated, and isolated, especially when people around you don’t seem to care or support you, I understand your pain.
It's really mean and hurtful of how she treated you, and yea, it can be tempting to react in certain ways. I've witnessed (is that the right word?) you're efforts to see things in the bright side, but I know we all have a breaking point and everything seems in shambles. Maybe at that time in your peace you were still suppressing a lot of emotions? And yea you said 'evil + evil ≠ good', but let's say you've done those things, what do you hope to happen after that? (obviously for those things to stop happening) But wouldn't that take a toll on you as well? I know those seem like the fastest solution to end this, and these incidents are really affecting you heavily. Do you have ways to cope with these emotions? (like I know you say you tried your best to find support, and you like music) Or what else do you think might help you in this besides those?
I recognise your efforts in your self control, and yea that's isn't the best to experience. But you don't have to fight this alone, there are definitely people that will be more than happy to support you, (again I'm repeating myself a lot) maybe those people might come into your life at a later time (yea it's frustrating and you might think 'why not now?' but there's a time for everything). I'm not sure what I said was able to bring much reassurance? I hope maybe even just a bit 🥺. But you're fighting strong and I'm proud of you for that💛. We have ups and downs (some bigger some smaller) but you've survived them and you're doing your best. Maybe people can't see that (well they're just hmmmmm... you know) but you'll find your people <3
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507
yea, it's kinda critical that i hold myself for a bit
witnessed is also prob the right word. and yea it wouldn't end well, and i know it but it's sooo hard not to act on my feelings rn. I have ways to cope with them, and i did use them to calm myself down after writting this message, so i'm fine, but they won't last forever. the 5-4-3-2-1 strategy is for now perfectly fine.
i seriously doubt it, since reading my previous messages you'll see that i've tried a lot and failed. (6 listeners an hour is crazy) and all of that is being done so that i could "feel more discouraged" i hate it.
it did bring me reassurance. but still it's been radio silent until you actually came in and i gotta thank you for that, but also put shame on those others who definetly could help, i'm convinced that they just don't want to
@LuckyBlast1
You're doing really well for holding back, (I'll say it again) I'm proud of you💛, and you should be too <3 I know it feels like you want to spontaneously combust (idk if that a good way to say it, bit at the moment for me at least if I were in your situation, that's how I would feel)
It's good that you have coping mechanisms that you can turn to, and the 5-4-3-2-1 strategy is definitely a good one, but I understand the calmness won't necessarily last for forever.
I admire your efforts in trying your best, and I understand how when you put more effort in to it, but might give the opposite effect, which is quite disheartening. And yea, maybe some people might not want to offer help to someone, and they have their own personal reasons, but I'm sure it's not because of you. You deserve to be treated with care too, no matter how you are 💛
Cozycat :3
(oopies kinda forgot to use emojis for a bit... oh well 🙃)
@CozyCat8507
I'm not really proud of myself, and you did write exactly how i'm feeling right now. (the spontaneously combust part)
thank you, but it's sad that i'm not being treated as such. everyone deserves to be treated with respect and care, but we humans have other plans...
for the using emojiy bit, do whatevr again, if you wish to use em sure, if you don't want to, sure
@LuckyBlast1
That's ok if you don't feel that now, just give it sometime (I know I can't say that and you'll magically feel better) I hope I can reassure you a bit more though. Yea, we all have our own things going on, and it's tricky to find someone that will be able to fulfil our needs.
But you’re the person who tried to fix things and the one who stayed calm way longer than most people could. That means a lot! (and yea I know being there for yourself is hard) But how about for the mean time let's try some self affirmations? Maybe daily? (or not if you don't want to)
💛 I have survived things no one even knows about. That makes me powerful
💛 My feelings are valid. I don’t need anyone’s permission to be hurt.
💛 I tried to bring peace, and that shows my strength, not my weakness.
💛 Their actions don’t define me. How I rise from this does.
💛 I’m allowed to feel broken right now. Healing isn’t a straight line.
💛 I will not let their cruelty rewrite the truth of who I am.
💛 Even when no one shows up, I still matter. I am still worthy of care.
💛 This pain won’t last forever, but the strength I’m building from it will.
🌟 I’m not “too much.” I’m just surrounded by people too small to handle real emotion.
🌟 I can breathe. I can rest. I don’t have to fight every moment.
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507 hey cat, belated happy birthday! 🎂 18 is quite a milestone, so congrats! 🤍 i thought your disappearance was you going on break lol, i didn't know you aged up. thanks for letting me know.
i understand that you weren't aware about the teen and adult separation on cups. it's alright. i really appreciate you trying to let people know. not many listeners really do this when they age up, so this means a lot, especially since we haven't even known each other for that long. thank you. and thanks for all your care, support and understanding too, for the little time that we've known each other.. ❤️
well, i really hope your break goes well. i'm guessing you go on break today or soon? which is why i'm trying to reply to this right now even though my head hurts. i hope your break goes well, wishing you all the best with your exams. when you come back to cups, it'll be great to have you back on teen since as an atl. all the best! ❤️
@exuberantBlackberry9105
Thank you so much Berry 😊!
Yea, I would've let you know if I was going to be gone. And I really appreciate your understanding <3
I'm glad to hear that I was able to make you feel heard and cared for in our chats 💛
And yes, I will work hard in my break, which will start tomorrow :) and thank you for your efforts to reply to me. I hope to come back and be able to chat with you again after my break (I can't guarantee that I'll be and ATL right after coming back but hopefully at some point, I'll update it in my bio. But for the mean time, we can have our chats here when I'm back🙃)
I wish you all the best Berry, and nice rain for you there 🌈🌧️ :) Hope you'll have sweet dreams every night💤. Oh and remember self care :) You can do it! ❤️
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507 sorry for seeing this so late but i thought i might still reply, even if you don't see this until after your break. 🤍
you're most welcome. i hope your birthday went well. and that's for letting us know about being gone. have a good break, see you again when you return! hopefully you'll be able to become an atl. ❤️
thank you so much for the wishes. and yup, we've been getting quite some rain here, thanks. see you, take care. 🤍
Hello my dear members!
It's been a pleasure chatting with you, and I really enjoy our time spent together. I'll be off for quite a bit for a break, and hope during that time you'll still be able to find the support you need 💛
I'll be back before you know it 🙃
I wish you all the best in your journey to healing, and look forward to catching up with you soon 😊
Warmest hugs from:
Cozycat :3
@CozyCat8507 Good Luck! I'm really proud that you are taking this break to concentrate on school! We will still be here when you are ready so no sneaking on! ♥️
Hope all the exams go well. Look forward to having you back with us when you choose.
@CozyCat8507
idk if you'll see this or not, but imma leave this message for future you when you come back to cups (cuz i know the exams are done, i have some friends in the UK too!)
firstly, how did they go? did you expect something harder or easier? i've also had them when we were having our chats, tho they wouldn't be worth anything, we just wasted a lot of time.
Secondly, do you still plan on supporting me through here or through chats? because if it's through here, i wouldn't rlly give it a green light because of my personal intrests of leaving my private information off the internet. because i thought it might be best that i stopped oversharring here and mostly focus on the 1 on 1, because here anyone can read it, and that's why i'm cautios, while if we're talking 1 on 1, they can't share my information to others like a piece of cake at a party! soo i'm basically free to share on 1 on 1, but here, not so.
Thirdly, i'd want to mention that whilst we're on the topic of support, my support has been """alright""" (heavy quotation marks, i know)
mostly cuz of again, listeners. reaching out has been a hard step for me, and it mostly would depend on who would i reach out to, some would make me feel welcome whilst not fully understood (the majority of listeners), while we also have the minority, who were split in two parts, the TERRIBLE listeners and the great listeners.
the terrible ones would make me feel like my problems weren't even considerable, and as if they're not worthy of their attention, i'm not going to name the listeners who've made me feel as such, but they should be ashamed that they've signed up to support, and they at the end of the day just deastroy without any apology.
while the good listeners are very very very few, like after you i had 2 more, and 1 is currently on a smaller break, while the other, idk where she is, she just kinda stopped oppening the app loll
And lastly, i'd love to tell you all updates on my life, but i'd want a bit of privacy to do that, because i know you're not going to be gossiping arround to others abt me without my permission (*probably), but others here might will, the more people see this, the higher the chances of someone doing that. i've been fighting with more issues, but now i'm again without consistant support for a 3rd or 4th time (idk i've stopped counting honnestly).
if you'd want an update on the "wound", i believe it might be a little better since we've last talked, but not rlly fixed and now sadly it's moving in the wrong direction. i did make progress with people here, but the good listeners would mostly be undoing the job of those terrible ones, so it mostly stayed the same
i've also decided that it might be best to stop reaching out here, mostly cuz of those terrible ones, but also because i'm facing rejection head on for months now, and i don't think that being judged and rejected by many is a healthy lifestyle. I just don't think it is! that's all!
so basically i've had enough of these fights, idk if you'll even become an ATL. hopefully, yea, but we'll see. i'm kinda pesimistic about my own situation, because of this app doing a one of my former friend's best moves, and just breaking promises. they promise a supportive enviroment. what did i get? a little bit of support, some judgement, enough rejection to build a fckng arc out of it, not a lot of love, and just overall sadness and probably even becoming slightly worse become of some people here
anyways, hopefully you can do everything you'd need to, cuz i'm sure this mental problem isn't rlly something i could fix with this kind of frequency of support that i'm living on
hope to see you soon!
@Cozycat8507
also i forgot to tell you what message would they most likely send me, it'd more be like telling me that i'm not enough and that i should be doing more (exuse me, you're a listener whose main responsability is to be nice kind and warm to someone who's going through a bad time, and you say bs like that to them?)
i'm very sure 7 cups will just let them stay, bc i'm sure the app hates me by now and imma need to find something better if it's worth it.
now idk what would that mean for the future of you and me, because tbh i mostly forgot how our chats went by now, i only have 1 screenshot that i took and that's it
hopefully you come and help out, becausse sadly i was correct on the "wound" more bacteria (or bad lisreners whatever) are enetering it brcause there's no protection (or good ones idkk)
the only 2 pieaces that are going good for me is that i do have one listeners who's very good, but she aadly has to only do clean up because of wolfs disguised as a sheep in a sheep group
again, not naiming anyone (except maybe the good listener, i can ping her if you'd want to :] )
and the 2nd thing is that i'm most likely entering the high school of my dreams (i'll know for sure on the 4th of July but that day is fast approaching!!)
ups, meant to write @CozyCat8507
okay i'm replying to myself just to tell you that yes, i was accepted. i was 21st out of 48 students that can be accepted
i genuenly am so happy bc that's one of my biggest anxieties gone, and now i just have to heal from my past life and that's it!!
also anothwr good thing is that they're not gonna go to that school, i'll have full freedom!! no longer are there people to cut me down, i'm free!!
honnestly gonna spend day in celebration, also gotta admit that in some moments i had to tell myself "i rlly want to tell @CozyCat8507 those good news when they come so i gotta lock in" and i did, so look at where we're at now!!
@LuckyBlast1
I love that you are writing here and I am sure Cozy will be very happy!
Congratulations
@MistyMagic
yea i still am, hopefully she comes back soon,cuz it's "julyish" lolll
thank you!!
@LuckyBlast1 well, feel free to keep posting updates here. It makes it easier to have a few reminders so show how far you have travelled on your journey.
@MistyMagic
i mean who'll be reading them? Cozycat will respond to them later, i have a lot of faith in that, but who'll be reding them before she comes back? you? you're busy with longterm members, aren't you?
@LuckyBlast1 I do read all the posts made here in Aging Up support, not just yours, so please post all you want 🦋
@MistyMagic
i've seen your post here, and i have been debating wheather i should talk about this or not, but i will lolll
soo i'm pretty sure almost every single member Cozy talked to have rough times currently, mostly due to not enough support. which is honnestly sad to see in a community that promises that, i've found one who isn't really the most available person, but eh, i could still have chats
others were not so lucky, so i was thinking why shouldn't we make this space "a space for all of our troubles" because if everyone's refusing to listen to us, then why don't we listen to each other?
idkk would they accept that or not, but i thought it might be a good idea!
@LuckyBlast1 you are so right. Many are going through rough, tough times right now, and I know from all of the posts that it can be hard to find a good listener, one that you feel you get on with, that is reliable, and who you can trust.
Of course everyone is welcome to post here, maybe even start your own thread. But - there is one but to bear in mind. This is public, the forums are public, and can be read by anyone. Whereas a listener chat is private - one to one.
I love your kindness and caring attitude. The world could do with more people thinking like this. 
@MistyMagic
i believe that you can even bring my entire journey by looking at my forum post activities loll you can see how desperate i still am. thankfully i have found one listener who is REALLY REALLY REALLY good, but the problem is that i shouldn't rely only on her, and when i would usually reach out to people, i'd get a ton of responses for sure, sometimes even terrible ones.
i have a memory that'll probably stick to me until the grave, and that memory is from here, i basically was reaching out to my oldest forum, and one guy claiming to be a listener tild me some really mean stuff, like "Maybe YOU'RE not doing enough to heal yourself!!" and "You're spitting in the face of charity!!" i wish i could unhear those words but i sadly can't
the thing that makes the story legendary is that this listener whom i have reached out to, has responded to the guy with compassion and understanding, whilst i couldn't really deffend myself like that. she probably did what most listeners wouldn't even do, deffend me publically. not only that, she consulted her mentors and reported the guy, huge respect for the listener, if we've had more people like her, support wouldn't be an issue on the site
anyways i want to tell you that i'm still not compleatly fixed, so my support would be limited, because i don't want to end up accidentally hurting others
@LuckyBlast1 ohhh I am so sorry you had that experience. It does happen and far too often, but that is why we have procedures in place to report and review bad behaviour.
I wish I could wash away those words, they are cruel and hard hitting. You don't deserve to be told that, nobody does. I know how easy it is to keep going over them and over them. All we can do is change how they make us feel. Move on from there and decide that we are not that person, that the words missed us and flew over our heads. Or that they hit the brick wall that we were standing behind. They mean nothing. They are gone.
@MistyMagic
well yea sadly that's the case
i've tried, and honnestly i'm still trying, but it hits even harder when you're trying to recover from something.. like it's somewhat like having an open wound and someone else hits you with a knife EXACTLY on that wound
it's simply very hard but i'll never give up, bc if i do, i'm giving up on myself which is the worst thing to do, like ever
@LuckyBlast1 I also wanted to say that I understand why you said about not wanting to hurt. I didn't mean to put any pressure on you or give responsibility, just friendly posting replies when able. Sharing feelings can help others. I feel you know that already.
@MistyMagic
well yea i do actually, you didn't say that "i have to" you just said that it'd be nice to
i fully understand it. no biggies!!
@LuckyBlast1
You are awesome 😎
@MistyMagic
ahagahaha thanks!!
i just imagine CozyCat reading all of this in like 2 weeks and beeing like: "oh so they didn't find their support hmmmm. well glad that i'm back, ALSO WHY DOES HE HAVE A DOG AS HIS PROFILE PIC???"
for context, i like cats and dogs, i rlly like both loll, my friends have cats and i have a dog, soo yea. i hope that straights everything up
@LuckyBlast1
heh its been more than two weeks (oopsies)
hmmm but why not a kitty 🥺 (hehe)
@CozyCat8507
who's counting at this point lolll
but yea thats my irl doggo, thats why i have it!!! wb you, how did you choose ur pfp, any connection to that pic?
@LuckyBlast1
awww such a cute doggie <3
well i have had quite a few cats, but same for me i do like both dogs and cats, but i've only had cats growing up. as for why i chose this pic, cause well... my cats are the grumpy ones so they look kinda angry in most of their pics so i chose one from the internet, but this ones it's just when you look at it you have a fuzzy feeling, and i hope i am able to be the blankie for the cat so yea, could say im the blankie and trying to make the cat (members) feel cozy :3
CozyCat:3
@MistyMagic
also idk if they'll come or not, but it's whatever honnestlyy
@MistyMagic
i also really hope @CozyCat8507 comes back, hopefully to be an ATL, cuz then we could do everything as we've used to, and you pretty much know my story about how i've struggled with support ever since she left, so if she does come back, i might even throw a mini celebration, who knows??
also yea i've been updating my bio as well, i've also had to do all the paperwork to become a high school student in place, but IShowSpeed decided to show up and throw my entire city in traffic andd so imma do that tomorrow, hopefully he doesn't stay for long