Anxiety and Relationships
I am 20 years old and have been seeing a girl for about 4 months now. At first I was nervous as any other person would be to hangout with someone new in a romantic way. We both went to the same college and for the last 3 months of school we would alternate coming to each others room and spending the night occasionally. Everything was great and I did not see my anxiety worsen. About 2 years ago I was diagnosed with IBS and this is the main cause of my anxiety. I always worry about having to use the bathroom and that makes things worse. Now, my girlfriend and I live 2 hours apart. This has been happening for about a month now and we have alternated which house we go to once a week. The first time I visited her and her parents I created a lie so that I wouldn’t have to eat dinner with them. I told them I had plans and had to leave right when they were going to eat. I am so anxious about having to use the bathroom at their house and it being bad. I have expressed my stomach issues to her and she is very understanding, but I feel bad for not being able to eat dinner with them (due to my anxiety over having to urgently use the bathroom). I do not want to give up on this relationship as our bond is like nothing I have had before and I can tell she is really good for me. I plan to see a doctor soon about anxiety medication and one regarding my stomach problems but what should I do in the meantime? I can not keep putting off eating with her forever…
@bearsfan1244
I'm so sorry to hear about your IBS. But so excited to hear about your new relationship! Its so lovely to hear about people falling in love and caring about each other. She clearly means a lot to you and that's so sweet.
I think it was great of you to tell her about your health issue. It can be daunting and a bit embarrassing to do that. Bodily functions are always a bit yucky and taboo which makes them hard to talk about. So well done for doing that. I wonder if you could take it one step further and talk to her about your worries about dinner with her parents? She might be able to allay your fears or be keen to help you find a solution.
Remember that her parents raised her. To be a blunt old fart, they likely changed her nappies and walked around with her vomit on their shoulders. Things like these means they are probably less embarrassed by messy bodily functions than you might first imagine. I might be wrong but it would be a shame not to find out and build a relationship on a lie.
In the meantime, welcome to anxiety support! And congratulations on being so open about your anxiety and finding solutions. There's lots of great resources here. I hope you find something useful for you.