Are you too hard on yourself? It hurts more than you think ):

Did you know that 40% of young people globally struggle with perfectionism and are too harsh with themselves? :/ It is in fact common to think "I should stop being so lazy,i'm disgusting. I don't deserve joy or breaks until I make it. I'll start working insanely hard from now on,even when I feel sick!! I'll do insanely big things!!!" (setting impossible,"perfect" goals)

Aren't breaks a loss of productive time?

Breaks aren't a loss of important time that lowers your results. But they increase your performance,and knowing how to do a healthy,relaxing or happy break actually improves your work/study quality drastically :D

If I punish myself will I give better results?

Many people believe that punishments for failing lead you to completely avoid that ending (out of fear) and succeed,but it's actually the opposite. You'll be much more likely to fail,as the moment will turn out to be an exaggerately important exam for yourself,making you anxious of the extreme consequences (and anxiety reduces temporarily your problem-solving skills and performance during the key moment). Failure will feel unacceptable,even if it's human and it happens to everyone,even in small ways,sooner or later. It's a chance to learn and improve,not a crime (:

Is it good to have very high expectations?

Not only that,but it will be harder to start tasks related to it. With expectations too high,the work will seem too hard to start as well. And this causes a domino effect where you get burnt out,act more harsh (believing it gives you extra motivation),and your self-esteem gradually dies ("why can't I ever do anything well?!? I'm a failure...")

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But It's not your fault; perfectionism and being mean to yourself can be caused by many factors that you cannot control. Such as teachers or parents who were very critical,and you internalized their words as a child.

Changing is hard,especially when the circumstances around you add pressure and tell you otherwise. It requires a lot of strength. But you're enough just the way you are. I'm proud of you if you survived such mindset and was in that 40%,or if you always were kind to yourself,which likely made you achieve more things. 

Questions to ask yourself to not be too self-critical or set unhealthy standards:

1. Do your plans feel okay and possible for you,even to start today? Do you think you'll feel okay and not overwhelmed from them?

2. Think about 3 things that matter to you (examples: dear people,hobbies,sports) and say how they will change permanently if you fail. Will you lose everything,or have dramatic irreversible changes in your life?

3. Will you gain anything good,even just experience or finding a crazy opportunity (example: helping other people understand how to survive that challenge and turning it into your strenght) from failing?

Sources/If you want know more about this:

Curran & Hill (2019)—American Psychological Association 

​Neff, K.D. (2003)—Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself

Yerkes-Dodson Law. Anxiety and Performance

Thank you so much for reading!! I hope this helped. Have a wonderful day :D🍀 (and remember: you're enough just the way you are. I'm proud of you!!)