Need suggestions
Hey everyone! I struggle with anxiety, and when I start overthinking, I feel like I need to talk it out or get closure to calm down.
For example, today I asked a friend for a favor, and now I’m spiraling—worrying that it was too much, that she might judge me, or that I made her uncomfortable. I know I can’t control how others feel, but until I get reassurance, I feel completely stuck and unable to focus. I’m aware this isn’t healthy, and want to work on it. And I need to learn how to deal with my anxiety alone and self-regulate, cause it's affecting my family members now.
If anyone has dealt with something similar, I’d love to hear how you cope with anxiety and overthinking. Any advice would mean a lot!
@courageousSquare1219
Attempting to control the uncontrollable. Trying to know the unknown. The cause of anxiety. Or at least a lot of anxiety.
Everyone is going to be a little different about how they approach this. I spiral easily when I don't have all the answers. And most of my anxiety journey has been breathing, meditation, therapy, etc. And while it alleviated some of it, I was still struggling. I was fully unhappy, and my therapist recognized that I needed to really make a big mental shift when I was spiraling. Not just breathing or going for a walk.
So, the minute I start into the spiral, I go have fun. I get busy and I do something that makes me incredibly happy. Jumping in the kitchen and cooking an amazing meal. Running out to my favorite store. Reading a favorite book or watching a favorite movie. It's hard to do sometimes, but the change in how I feel, the stopping of the spiral - it works.
It provides enough time and space to back away from my mind, look at things logically, and start to feel better.
Everyone has their own tools that they have that work for them and you'll have to find out which tools you're going to put in your toolbox that will work for you. Sometimes one thing helps, sometimes you need a combination of things to help.
@thoughtfulmomma
Thanks so much for sharing your methods. I totally agree with you, I have to try out things and see what works for me. I have to be more patient and keep pushing until my brain rewires itself.
We all have been there
Let me just tell you, RELAX
Life is coming and going every moment
If you feel restless about what the other person is feeling, then send them a message of gratitude and then relax.
Everybody needs help some or the other time, everyone does weirdo stuff occassionally, everybody can be awkward sometimes. It's good to apologise and to rectify any mistakes, But equally OK to make mistakes.
If another person thinks negatively about you, let them think, you are a nice person and you want to be a good person, so just be that way without worrying about what happens.
Study your mind, Everything you do, every thought you think, every person you meet, you are using this miracle machine called mind for it. So if you play around and understand the engineering and psychology of your mind, it gives you total control over it, and if you can control what you can do 'Now', You can live the Life you Want to, the way you want to.
Happiness is your default state, not dependabt on any want or anything that happens in your life. Be in that state, calm, empathetic, peaceful.
Don't worry you are wonderful
Blessings
@SamDoc
Thanks so much Sam, I needed to hear that. 'Happiness is your default state'...I always forget that and worry too much. I used to think that I am keeping everything under control by worrying and caring too much until I saw how me going insane with anxiety affected my family. I realized that everybody is capable of living their own lives, I am not responsible for taking care of them. I will keep this in mind and try to let go and relax.
Thanks a lot, means a lot even if I could relieve your stress a little.
Another thing that I do to change my nental state or habit is to wake up every morning and to say a prayer saying 'Love to all and that let all be happy' and also I speak to myself that I qm more positive, that I will work positively even if things don't go my way etc. See if it helps
Also Mediation as suggested by the other reply is really good, you can club it with studying your mind. I even use a notebook to study my mind and thoughts and a mic of several ways which suit me.
If you ever wish to connect, I can share my email with you, I promise I am never going to judge for anything you ask
God bless
@SamDoc
Thanks so much, Sam! I’ve thought about using positive self-talk, but honestly, it feels so awkward. I’m so used to being my own worst critic that it’s hard to even start. So, I took a smaller step—I just try to treat myself like I would a close friend. It’s not easy, but weirdly, it helps!
Meditation doesn’t work for me right now—I either fall asleep or get overwhelmed with negative thoughts. So, I’m planning to try it later, once I’ve quieted the self-criticism a bit. But I really appreciate you offering to share the content—thank you! 😊
You are having all the right experiences, everybody has that experience when they start meditating, It is to keep your mind running, like a kid it will play around, fuss and then get tired and rest. You don't have to repress any negative thought, address it, study it.
There is a great book by Swami Vivekananda called Raja Yoga, free over the internet, a small read too
https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Complete_Works_of_Swami_Vivekananda/Volume_1/Raja-Yoga
Also the way you are handling negative self talk is a great way too, there are many ways to do things right. Even starting with small words and a prayer whether you believe in it or no, will gradually gather more and more strength.
Take care
@SamDoc
I really like how you described our mind like a little kid, never thought of it this way. Thanks for the link to the book, I will read it. I am a believer and pray often. Prayer definitely helps, but I do not have a routine. I guess starting meditation or at least setting a routine for prayer will help too. Thank you so much for reminding me of this!
